I would go with "when in doubt, throw it out" regarding the meds. You need way more time and investigation. And if your DS has so many sensitivites, chances are the med road, if you do take it at some point, will be especially experimental. I've never heard of such a thing, a little child that age and a concern of needing to "save his reputation". How unforgiving. Pre-emptive medication behavioral management, "just in case"?
Regarding the homeschooling and socialization, if you haven't already, you might want to try googling/reading articles about "socialization versus social development".
A little kid sitting alone at lunch is not a heartening thought, and what about bullying? Who is really watching these kids...at my DD's school there are 2 monitors for over 100 kids in the cafeteria, the teachers don't stick around. A little kid sitting alone is an invitation for trouble, if not just a very lonely introduction to big school. I would totally understand your worries and would understand you'd rather have him alone that vunerable to allergic reaction, but wouldn't there be anyone else for that shift from another class with allergies too? It seems the further we get from our food source and the more corporate it becomes, the more children have food allergies.
And you're really very clever to consider the birthday party/treats/snacks issues. That's a big part of kindergarten, especially!
If you could homeschool while you investigate things more and send him to classes at places that are more sensitive about such things, or sort of work around the whole food thing due to scheduling (like, after school classes) he could have the experience in the coming year of being with kids his age or age range but being safely at home for "differentiation" and the food issues.
I've noticed lately through "playground talk" amoung parents that there is a little trend of psychologists who don't do neurophysch exams really discouraging their current clients from pursuing neuropsych exams.
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Yes, I feel that I can still teach him how to "socialize" without sending him to school.
Thank you everyone for your replies! We are going to look into a full neuropsych eval. Does anyone know if Dr Amend does this? I know he can do IQ testing, but I'm not familiar with what is involved in a complete work up.
