@Dude: It's possible our lack of highly structured discipline, like a rewards/consequences chart, is not helping this situation. That being said, we do punish, take toys/video games/TV/computer away, but part of my point was there is nothing we do that should cause her to fear being wrong, like ridicule, or severe consequences that would make her lie in order to avoid getting in trouble.
The question is basically, "what do you mean by 'lazy'?" Because by the use of that term, I can imagine:
- Rules are applied inconsistently... sometimes you punish for a particular offense, and sometimes it's allowed to slide for the same exact offense. Both parents may have an entirely different approach.
- Warnings are often given, ignored, and there are no consequences.
- Punishments are frequently offered, and then rescinded later.
These would be hallmarks of inconsistent and/or permissive parenting, and that's a style of parenting that frequently leads to children not respecting limits, insistent on getting their own way, always being right, etc. So if that sounds like you, it's worth checking out authoritative parenting as an alternative.
Authoritative parenting doesn't mean you need a chart and a formalized system of rewards and consequences (that's not parenting, that's micromanagement)... it just means rules are well-communicated, boundaries are consistent, and overstepping those boundaries results in predictable consequences, in an atmosphere of mutual respect.
And if that doesn't sound like you... disregard.
