Hi Wren,
I understand what you are talking about. DS7 is now grade-skipped into a school for HG kids, so he is a year younger than most of them. I have a feeling that DS still learns some things (not everything) at a quicker pace and has a higher level of understanding about certain things than some of his classmates. But it is such a huge improvement from when he was the only kid in the class like him, that I don't worry about this, as long as I know that DS is being appropriately challenged himself. I will start to worry again if I feel like he's the only one in the classroom not learning anything new.
By the way, I think it's great that your DD is understanding concepts so well and can relate what her teacher taught. If she can surprise you in what she's doing, I'd wager that she's definitely learning.
As for peers, even if your DD were in a group of kids who all scored the same as she did, those kids would still all be different little individuals, learning at different paces even within that group.
