Even at a very young age, my first born DD found it impossible to admit fault or to say, "I'm sorry". It was surprising to me how readily my second will say sorry and move on. DD#1 seems to believe that doing something wrong makes her worthless. So either things are never her fault, or we deal with an hour long meltdown of "everybody hates me, I'm so stupid", etc. It can be very frustrating. I believe it to be an innate part of her personality. I see the same traits in myself, where I have to consciously remind myself that every mistake I make can be turned into a constructive learning opportunity. Whether it is innate or learned, it helps me to believe that it is innate because I can better deal with her meltdowns without losing my cool.
Maybe too much praise creates some perfectionists, but I think the literature I have read too readily dismisses the possibility of it being an innate personality trait.
