Fred, a 5yo, lives in his office at the university, where he's lived since he was 6 months old, carted around by various undergraduates when he was too young to walk. His parents are nowhere to be found, and he lives off of vending machine food, which is why he's so short. He also tries to open a box with a very sharp, very heavy knife, and nearly bleeds to death before Roman numerals save him.

If you have a working-on-5th-or-6th--grade-math child who might conclude from that that living like Fred is desirable, Life of Fred might not be for you. wink