I have been there too - in a rural setting and all. Other people used to look at me like I was crazy when I would say I was so exhausted because DD was doing a,b or c - whatever her fascination/obsession was that month. I'm still not sure if they thought I was making it up or it was all my fault that she was so intense.

I counted down the days for her to go to school (even half day - just to have some down time to regroup). It was during this time (age 4) that I found this board and like you was amazed at how in control people seemed to be. But, it was still a great place for me to find and start getting suggestions and support for my "out there" child.

Have you tried finding an older adult (like a grandparent) who also loves the same sort of stuff and ask if they would hang out with your son and tell him all about what they know about the topic? I know DD became fascinated with wood working and carving at one point because she saw a elderly man whittling at a fair. I told her to go ask him about it - she did and he was so excited that she was interested he told her all about how long he'd been doing it and how he learned and his best and worst pieces, and how to pick good pieces of wood to start with - the whole nine yards.

Now, please understand, this only lasted about 30 minutes, and it meant that I had to stand in the hot sun when I was tired, hungry and ready to go home so she could talk to him, but - it did give me half an hour to let my mind wander and enjoy the sights and not have to focus on her. A friend who was with us continued on with her kid and they had eaten lunch and were ready to move on by the time we caught up, but it was enough down time for me that I was able to continue without loosing it for the rest of the outing.

I still feel inadequate as a parent many days (now doubly so because of DD3 following in her sister's footsteps), but I keep reminding myself that I made it through with the first one and will with the second one too.

Hugs to you - I think most of us understand what you're going through and have been there many many times before. You are not alone!