Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments At the end of my rope --

Hi, I am at the end of my rope with my 2e daughter's education. I do not want to homeschool. I work full time. I homeschooled in the past and it was hard being relatively broke and having her so excluded in homeschool community. Our daughter has Asperger's syndrome - would barely qualify for Davidson with WISC GAI of 148 (last summer). Her public elementary school kicked us out on a residency pretext (long story -- but I'll simplify by telling you our rental in the area required us to vacate for repairs an they took that chance to kick us out saying we had abandoned residency, which we had not) and she dislikes the local public school. My boss is letting me work from home but I thought it would only take two week to find her a school. Yes, I can afford private school if I keep my job and if I could find one that worked for her I would do it-- she only found one she liked (loved) but they rejected her. If I homeschool, I will have to quit my job and move to a part of town with more homeschooling opportunities -- but it looks like that is the only option left.

Are there any good online options that will be engaging and fun, not drudgery? How can I avoid the traps I fell into the last time we homeschooled, of social isolation and queen bee moms?

Thank you.

Treasuremapper,

It sounds like homeschooling might not be the best fit for you or your family. Have you asked your questions about best school fit to either a local dr/psych who knows your dd or to a local parent advocate who knows the schools in your area? Our 2e children are at a private school which has been a wonderful fit - but it's not a school we would have been able to identify on our own as reasonable and it most likely would not have been something we'd have stumbled upon or found through asking around online. The recommendation to try it out came from our ds' neuropsych, based on her combined knowledge of his needs/challenges and having knowledge of the wide spectrum of available school options in our area. I'm not saying private school is the answer for your dd - just mentioning that having input from a professional who knew our child's challenges and who could also look at the wide variety of options objectively helped us tremendously in making school decisions.

The advocate that we used when working with our local schools was also helpful in understanding what schools would work best within the public school system, as well as helping us advocate to get the services our ds needed to be successful within the public school system.

Hope some of that helps!

polarbear

If you don't want to HS, I don't think you should. We also chose to not HS our AS child (now 11) because we felt that adapting to the school environment, difficult as it was, gave him the best shot at employability and social success later in life. A well-fitting school environment is hard to negotiate for, but really can work.


Can you appeal that decision?


Does she have an IEP? What kind of services or accommodations are (or were) being provided for the Asperger's and giftedness?

What is your DD like? Does she have difficult behaviors that need to be addressed? Do you have any private therapeutic support?


Public schools are where your DD has civil rights protections. In our experience, many private schools don't want kids with disabilities, and aren't equipped to handle them.

My first step would be to aggressively pursue making a public option fit your DD through an IEP and gifted services.

I'm not sure I have anything else to add right now. I would say homeschool for nowm while you are looking at other options, but that would mean leaving your job and then you can't just get it back!
Would you like to appeal the decision to kick her out of that othher school? Retain a lawyer and get them to write a letter.
Does she need alot of accomodations at school? Did the private school reject her because of that, or just because they say Asperger's and didn't know how to deal with that. My son with aspergers can pass as NT at a well run school. (In a crappy chaotic school environment you can tell)

In terms of homeschooling, we don't actually hang out with other homeschoolers much. My son has neighborhood friends and so do I. We go to activities on weekend and afterschool hours. We even go to his old school for the tuesday night activities. They don't have a problem with that. It can be lonely not to have other parents round who "get" wht issues you are dealing with. Sometimes I just get blank looks, or by peoples responses i can tell that they really don't get what I'm talking about.

The book From Emotions to Advocacy may be helpful in preparing to meet with schools.

The book is also available on kindle.