Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Ants-in-the pants, or should I be concerned?

Hi all! We're really at a loss, and not sure where to turn for help. Okay, here's the deal (I'll try to keep it brief). Our son is four and has been tested last yr. at an IQ of 152. He's been going to the same preschool for the past several yrs. They tell us that he has trouble focusing, sitting still etc. (nothing new, they told us this b/f which is why we had him evaluated in the first place) We suspect that it might be boredom, restlessness or simply four year old boy ants in the pants.

The psychologist who did his test ruled out ADHD or anything like that since his behavior is inconsistent. He certainly can and has demonstrated other situations an ability to focus pay attention etc.

BUT, now it's beginning to interfere (he doesn't sit still during circle time, lunch time etc). Although once a week at his science class they say he's fine.

We just had him evaluated for fine motor skills and during the ball pit exercise (he jumps in and picks out animals) they said he seemed to have issues w/over excitability when in the pit and on the swing. I was there; all I saw was an exuberant 4 yr. old who was having a good time in a ball pit (he threw some of the balls around and was saying "woo hoo, woo wee etc" Really, what else was he suppose to do?

Does anyone else have kids who have trouble sitting still in regular classrooms? Is there an issue here or is this characteristic of gifted kids? I'm so afraid of following through w/the rest of the evaluation (by the school district) and having his behaviors misinterpreted, diagnosed etc. But we also don't know how to sort this all out.

My husband says not to worry, he'll be fine. But meanwhile, he has to sit in a chair during circle time while the other kids sit on the floor b/c it's the only way he stays still. (it's not done in a punitive way, just a way that keeps him contained)

Thanks for reading this long post--any insights would be greatly appreciated!!

Hi bbq797!

I can relate to your post. My dd (now 6) had a terrible time sitting still in preschool.

It seems like there were two main reasons:

1. Overexcitabilities: She had so much energy coursing through her. She would have visible reactions to things others would consider mundane. "The Letter A!!" "The number 7!!" All were worthy of a kick of the leg or a roll around on the floor. She loved numbers and letters as if they were her friends.

2. Boredom: While she did have a great love for numbers and letters, she didn't really want to spend a lot of time hearing about them. She already knew. She entered pre-school at 3 already doing computation in her head and reading fluently (much to her teacher's chagrin). It turned out the school wasn't a good fit for her. She was just too "out there" for them. We switched her to a private, gifted school in the middle of the year and found she fit in much better there. A friend used to joke that when the kids streamed into the 3-year-old room at the gifted school, they were like pinballs bouncing off of each other. They all had that kind of energy. The school moved at a much faster pace and, ironically, had less of an emphasis on "academics."

I remember being so stressed at the time, but much of it is now gone. Still, last year, I was in the kindergarten classroom one day watching her squirm so much she fell off her chair. But then she simply picked herself off the floor and kept working. The teacher, who was only 3 feet away, never even paused.

I think she's calmed down even more now in First Grade. Challenging her brain helps. And having teachers who don't expect every child to sit stock still at all times. Most of these kids just don't.

Do you think your ds's school is a good fit for him? What about the teachers?

I think maybe you should discuss this with his teacher. My DS had a preschool teacher who demanded perfect order, and sent a note home at least twice a week telling me that Andrew was "refusing" to follow directions and causing a distraction in class. I was worried, and tried everything I could think of to get him to stop. Since I taught high school at the same school, I started stopping and peeking in the window. I found that pretty much EVERYONE in the class was squirming around and having a hard time focusing. It was because (1) obviously, they were four - and that's what four year olds do, and (2) she had a preschool class spending a significant portion of the day sitting in desks, and not enough time doing "active" learning. Yes, part of the beauty of preschool is that they learn to sit and focus. But it's just that - LEARNING. It takes time.
This year he is in first grade. He has gotten better, but still has a hard time sitting still and focusing. I spoke to his teacher about this, and she told me that she sees it a lot in the "smart" kids. She believed it was because they don't HAVE to focus as much of their energy on learning in order to do well, and have almost a compulsion to burn it off somehow. (This makes sense to me - because the only time I see him sit still is when we're doing higher level math at home and it's more difficult for him). This could explain why he focuses in science class - it's more interesting, and more of a challenge for him. She told me that Andrew paces around the room while he reads. Her solution? She lets him. As long as he's not bothering any of his classmates and is reading his book, he can pace all he wants.
I would try to schedule a conference with his teacher, and find out in more detail what is going on in the classroom during the day. It could be he just needs more exercise time. Or maybe she is just being too restrictive for preschoolers.

Our DS6 (who is in the same HG/PG range as yours)has always had difficulties with this. He defintely does not meet the criteria for ADHD, but he is active at times. He had a really hard time sitting and focusing at most of his pre-k settings until he went to Montessori school for pre-k. He did wonderful there and they saw none of the symptoms. Now he is back in a regular public school setting. Last year he was in first grade (skipped K) and was 5yo. He was more active then the other kids and had trouble sitting at the carpet at times and moved around and fell out of his chair sometimes, and sometimes would just get up and walk around the room. But I also figured it was because he was 5 and had less playtime too. They decided to evaluate him through OT. He didn't qualify, but they tried some services in the classroom that were not helpful. I do think OT can be an issue sometimes as I do think there could be some sensory overload in a large classroom and DS does have some mild sensory stuff. When they challenged him last year, things did improve in this area. This year he is in 2nd and 4th, he is doing better overall but still has his moments, but he is also challenged more and getting a little older. I really do think it has a lot to do with being bored at times when they are so active. He could sit and read or work on math problems for over an hour at home, and all day on the computer if I let him. Anyhow, I also chalk it up to DS's brain constantly moving and thinking, so he often paces and moves when his brain is thinking. Some teachers are more accepting than others about this. As kids get older I think they learn more self-control in this area (lets hope). : )

We have the same situation here. DS8 (3rd grade) could never sit still from preschool through 1st grade. He had an awful time in second grade with a teacher who was very much like a drill sergeant.

Like previous posters, DS can easily be still when he's completely engaged in something. In fact, when he's really into a book, you could mistake him for a piece of furniture because he's so still for so long. *lol* But with things that he's either not challenged with or not completely engaged in, we've found that he actually is able to focus better when he's moving around. The psychologist who did his IQ/achievement tests noted it during testing, too. Movie night used to be a hoot around here -- DS might be upside down, doing somersaults on the couch, or bouncing around the room while he watched, but he could tell you everything about the movie.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. It has definitely gotten better for DS over the past few years. He can control his need to move much better and for longer periods. I've looked at it like his brain is craving stimulation -- and if it's not getting mental stimulation, it seeks physical. Maybe it's true of all the kids, but for most the threshold for the mental stimulation required is lower.


And if your DS's teacher is willing to be flexible and let him sit on a chair and that works, that seems great to me. It's nice that she's been able to find a workable solution.

I will add my voice to the previous posters. My son had the same problems in preK and K (had to sit on a chair while others were on the floor, considered over-exuberant in the ball pit, yadda yadda yadda) and finally in a gifted school in 2nd grade he is able to fit in and be accepted.

Everyone told me it would improve and it HAS, but I know how you feel when teachers and staff tell you that your kid is out of control (or whatever.) Nan

Thanks for all of your responses! At the very least, it's comforting to know we're not alone in this. Wow! I've definitely pulled away some very interesting insights from your posts. (overexcitabilities, boredom, "they don't HAVE to focus as much of their energy on learning in order to do well, and have almost a compulsion to burn it off somehow." I've never thought about it that way before. All of your other thoughts and situations have definitely been helpful)

A couple more questions though...

1. Sitting in the chair does seem to work, but I'm worried that it's somehow stigmatizing. He doesn't seem to mind, but who knows how he's really feeling on the inside. I've tried to ask him, but he just brushes it off. I just don't want him to have an identity of the kid who can't sit still (sort of a self fulfilling prophecy).

2. Related to the situation above, I understand a teacher allowing a kid to read while walking around, and allowing to certain extent kids to squirm etc. (that's great!). But, what about times like circle time, when it's not academic, but simply a matter of listening to others, being respectful etc. I know he's four, and your right, it should be a learning process--but he could care less and therefore squirms about and is completely distracting to other kids who can sit and listen to others.


Thanks again!

I would suggest you have a discussion with your DS about it. Can you explain to him that his moving around is distracting to the other children, and that sitting in the chair is one solution to that? You might tell him that kids learn the skill of being still at different ages, just like kids learn to talk and read at varying ages. If the teacher is open to other solutions, and your DS would prefer a a different (and workable) solution, then great. If not, and he's okay with sitting in the chair, then no harm, no foul. I wouldn't worry too much about stigmatizing him. If the teacher isn't making a big deal out of it, I doubt the other 4 year olds will even give it another thought.

My prediction is that you'll see slow/steady improvement over time, and that ultimately he WILL be able to sit still when necessary. You may also want to consider that sitting still may decrease his ability to pay attention. My DS spent so much of his brain power trying to be still in 2nd grade, he frequently had no idea WHAT the teacher had said.

Funny to read this because just the other day I thought about how many boys we know that as preschoolers were in trouble for being antsy, but now as teenagers do just fine. The expectations were really just not appropriate with where they were developmentally. The reality is that sitting at circle time for academic content is really not going to be a good fit for a lot of kids - not for those who aren't ready for the content, not for those who are past it, not for those who need to move.

I think it should tell you a lot that in his science class he's fine. If you do follow through with an evaluation I urge you to read the Misdiagnosis book first.

One alternative to the chair might be to sit on a cushion that provides more sensory imput. These are often suggested by occupational therapists. http://www.therapro.com/Air-Cushions-C4218.aspx Also, some kids are helped by having some kind of "fidget" toy they can hold in their hands.

When my oldest DS was in preschool, he had trouble sitting still during circle time. He's always been very tactile and very observant and would instantly notice anything new in the classroom and want to go and check it out. Turns out, the teacher had been intentionally bring new things into the classroom on a regular basis to make it more interesting for the kids. But, since every time she brought in something new she noticed tht DS would be drawn to it, she significantly cut back on the frequency of adding new things (brought in the same number of new things, just more at one time) and allowed the kids extra free time on those days to explore the new stuff. Another thing that she found that helped DS sit still during story time (when they were reading things years below what we were reading to DS at home) was to have one of those squeezy-ball things that he could just hold and quietly play with while sitting on the rug. He's 12 now and, while he's still very observant and tactile, he's probably one of the calmest kids in his classroom. Side note: he was eventually "diagnosed" as ADD, but inattentive -- definitely not hyperactive.

DS6 was in 1st last year (skipped K) and for the most part did quite well sitting and working, but during story time on the rug (again, reading books we had read years before) would move around quite a bit in his spot. The teacher's solution was simply to place him in the back of the group where, while she would encourage him to sit on his pockets, he didn't disturb anyone. Likewise, since DS sometimes likes to stand up at his desk while he's doing his work (but doesn't wander) he's just placed toward the back so he doesn't block anyone's view. Interestingly, when he's in 3rd grade math, he has absolutely no problem sitting still while he's working and his 3rd grade math teacher often comments on his maturity, while his 2nd grade teacher says he still likes to stand. So, challenge may definitely be a factor.

Honestly, try not to worry too much. Sometimes early education teachers have the tendency to pathologize totally normal boy (especially) behavior. Unless you have a gut feeling that something isn't quite right, don't let the teacher convince you there's something "wrong."