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    Joined: Jul 2010
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    Originally Posted by RachaelC
    Thanks, Tallulah and kimck. I guess I really don't know what the other kids are doing at home either. Maybe they too prattle on about how "the moon has rocks and mountains just like the earth"....:-)

    It doesn't matter what or how they're talking at home, the important thing is that a significant number of children are a lot quieter at school than at home. Of the five preschool classes I've participated in, at least 25% of the children almost never talked at school, but talked at home according to their parents. Sometimes you'd overhear them leaving the playground as the child opened up and started to chatter. That includes children who are requiring special arrangements at elementary school because they're ahead of their peers. Mine was one of them, it was just being shy, the massive amount of stimulation there is at preschool, that sort of thing. She's found her voice at school now, though.

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    We didn't start our DD in preschool until she was 3. She is now 4 and finally interacting more with her classmates. Up until this past week she was content with swinging at playtime. She had her preferred swing and all the kids knew not to try to take it. But this week she is playing with the other kids. This took over a year! She also doesn't talk to her full potential at school but even that is getting better. I think it just takes time.

    This said, I do agree with Grinity in that you should try a few options and always be willing to put her some where else if you don't feel the school is a good fit. The positive from your post is the end of the day pick up time when she shares with you about her day. She might not be interacting but she is clearly paying attention, plus it seems that she is happy about the stories she shares.

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    Originally Posted by RachaelC
    Thanks so much for talking me down. Also, I'm glad I'm not alone with the separation anxiety! It is sooo bad here, I'm in the same boat - I'm RARELY alone in the bathroom for that reason!

    I think the toys in there are just not ones she would choose, with the exception of the days when they play with blocks. She loves blocks, babies and computers. I know they have babies there, but no accessories. She likes to change their diapers, cook eggs for them and feed then, but them in the crib with a blanket, etc. They just have naked babies. She isn't allowed to play on the computer at school yet, but as soon as she gets a hang of the left-click only thing, I am going to try to push for it.

    Thanks again. Being a first time mom to an UN-textbook baby, i have to let go of what other kids are doing and what my expectations were.


    Ah, I know all about your worries! We've definitely worried about many of the same things. It turns out today that we did have the big tantrum at daycare when I left so I guess all is normal in the world. frown I sure hope it ends soon!

    I also wanted to comment on what Grinity said. We had a lot of the same worries about a nanny but have had a great experience with a part time name (definitely look into nanny shares too!). We have found that with her nanny she does speak quite a bit after she got used to her and her nanny often takes her to playdates or to the library to read and play with the other kids there. We looked for someone who was young and seemed like she could keep up with DD well (although many times she still looks like a bus ran over her after a few hours with DD!) and also not so set in her ways.

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    Their toys sound a bit lacking to me. How can they not have a bed and blankets when the #1 game of 12 month olds is to put the baby to bed?

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    I thought I'd give everyone an update (however late :-)) on our situation.

    Our daughter has started talking at school, which certainly shocked the teachers with what she has had to say. I had a conference with the teacher and she has achieved competency or fluency on all of the tasks on each test up through the 36-42 months test, so they/we can see she is doing well now. However, even with all these developments, she still cries terribly at separation and asks to stay home all the time, so clearly, its time for a change. We had inquired to a few nannies and were working on that when I found out I am expecting again (which is just a miracle knowing what we went through to have our daughter). It was just the push we needed for me to decide to stay home (I had already opened up the discussion to my husband). We started cutting out some things to make our finances work and after just a few more months will have enough saved up that it can work in the short term.

    Thanks to everyone for all your advice and support. Grinity, your frank mention of feeling obligated to the other family we share the school tuition with, etc really helped me to refocus and work to convince my husband that a few years of mild financial "hardship" may be what our family needs to sacrifice right now to get our daughter through this time.

    I'll keep you all posted! I'm sure I'll have more questions in the future!

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    Cheers RachaelC - Great news all around! Thanks for posting!
    Grinity


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    Originally Posted by Tallulah
    Of the five preschool classes I've participated in, at least 25% of the children almost never talked at school, but talked at home according to their parents.

    She's found her voice at school now, though.

    I know this is an old thread but am glad I found it.

    I am glad to see DS2 is not the only one who doesn't talk much at daycare/preschool.

    Another thing kind of worries me is that he tends to be a people watcher instead of participating in activities.

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