Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy difficult DS9

My gifted DS, almost 9 yrs old, is very talkative. he talks non stop, finds faults around the house(way too much). He critises everyone and a big big Whinning kid. I am running out of ideas to handle him. we tried star system, when he gets star for good behaviour, loses one for not. this school year, that doesn't seem to be working. I have tried both positive and negative remarks, expalining, doesn't work.
maybe some of ur gifted children have similar probs and some pointers will help me.

My suggestion would be to get him more involved in and responsible for decision making. Family meetings are a great way to get everyone in the family learning to communicate more maturely and to feel an investment in the decisions made in the family. http://www.positivediscipline.com/newsletters/family-meetings.html

http://www.explorerelementary.org/EECS_FamilyMeetings.pdf

Niti, what works for us is that for every behavior we don't like, we devise and teach a replacement behavior.

For instance, if a statement is said rudely or with a whine, we ask him to "say it sweetly," which he knows applies to both tone and content. Good behavior is also rewarded; but we had to make the expectations very explicit first.

If the fault finding is with objects (fixing? cleaning?) it could be addressed with a "what shall we do about it?" and teaching him skills to make things better himself. If it's people (this is harder), he needs to be taught how to state his grievances inoffensively.

The nonstop talking: does he know the nonverbal cues for when you want to be talked to, and when not? This might need a roleplay, and then gentle reminders for him to use the nonverbal information ("look, I'm reading right now. Is this when I want to talk?").

If you want to go the professional route, some speech therapists work on issues like these.

HTH,
DeeDee

There is a discussion HERE about a book called Transforming the Difficult Child (The Nurtured Heart Approach) that I just finished reading and am beginning to try on my DS7. It might be something that would help you--I know it sounds like just the ticket for us!

It took practically the entire school year for us to figure out a solution. After punishment after punishement I went the positive reinforcement route.

Told him if he is good all week in school Friday he can go to after-school on Fridays. Just like that he was an angel the rest of the year , 2 months left.

All I can say is find something he loves loves loves and use it LOL

And we were about to pay a ton of money for therapy!