Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How would you approach this school meeting

My DH and I will be meeting with our DS8's (2nd grade) principal and teacher. This is our first meeting with the principal.

Early in the year, we spoke with the teacher about the fact that from what would could tell DS already knew the 2nd grade math curriculum. We showed her some examples of work he had done and she was pretty dismissive. Now to be fair, she has 25 kids in her class and our school district is highly educated - everyone thinks their kid is gifted around here, and close to a third of the kids test into the g/t enrichment program (starts in 4th grade) based on standardized test scores (95% I believe).

After a few more weeks I followed up and asked if DS could be tested "forward" to ID what he knew - she said she would talk to the principal, etc. Ultimately they started giving him some harder worksheets when he finished his math earlier. At that point I realized that I wouldn't get anywhere without objective evidence and started setting up getting an IQ test and figuring out other options.

In the meantime, a positive occurred. In early December DS and some other top math kids from the other 3 second grades started being pulled for a small group by a "floater" teacher. This helped a lot. As my DS said, "I'm not really learning anything new, but at least I don't have to wait for everyone else." They are still doing this small group but it will end probably in March.

I now have my objective evidence (at least a bit of it) from very high SCAT scores in math (verbal was quite good too, but he seems happy enough with LA and he needs to work on handwriting so not an issue at this point). His IQ test is this weekend. Anyway, on the basis of the SCAT scores I have asked for a meeting with the principal and teacher.

The principal was quite nice and said via email that she had "some ideas for ways to challenge him and keep him engaged." I am a bit skeptical that they will just suggest more differntiation in the current classroom, which I just don't think the current teacher will be able to do (her heart is in the right place but she has 25 kids with a wide range of skills).

So... how would you approach this first meeting. Just go in and listen and hear what they are thinking and view it as a building bridges sort of meeting. Prepare a lot of material but be prepared to not pull it out unless it appears they don't have any ideas? I don't want them to think I am totally obsessive on this (even if I kind of am), but I want them to get a sense that I am prepared to advocate a good bit. Should I ask if the G/T teacher could attend as well - I don't know her or know what her views might be, but it seems like it might be helpful. Thus far, I have a fairly good relationship with the teacher.

My gut is that he needs a 1-2 year subject acceleration or I would like them to let him do his math online (he does some Aleks now for fun but prob. EPGY would be a better fit for fulltime use). I don't know if they have ever had anyone do the online math. Acceleration has been allowed in the past, although that was under a different principal and very rarely.

Any thoughts?

Thanks, Cat

Hi Cat,

Sounds like you have put lots of thoughts and work!

It's interesting: we also live in a district where "the average IQ in our school district is 115." "Everyone is challenged at his/her level." But once we obtained the two magical pieces of data-IQ and achievement scores-for DD, the school realized that DD might actually needs something different. You probably have seen my recent post: our rational is that different levels of special needs children require different interventions, different levels (subject areas) of giftedness require different educational plan.

You might have done these already, but just in case:

1. Know your state and district policies/services for the GT students. I thought I knew, but the day before the meeting, I read about the policies one more time. That's when I realized that in addition to the regular GT group programs, there is the "level 4" service that offers individualized educational plans.

2. Know what you want, have suggestions on how to accomplish the goal, and anticipate possible "but..." For example, with math, we have suggested possible online math learning or attend "above-grade" math classes or current teacher obtain "above-level" grade math worksheets/activities from "above-level" grade teachers for DS to work in class during the regular math time, etc.

For us, we had the plan in mind, but we actually asked them for their suggestions first to see what have they done before and what they are willing to try.

3. I think having the GT coordinator at the meeting is a great idea. Our GT coordinator offered many good suggestions. Also, is there one particular teacher in school who actually sees your son's ability and can be on your side? I think having someone from the school to support your son and yourself at the meeting can go a long way.

Last few suggestions are from wonderful people on this forum:
1. Offer your help, make them feel like you are working together as a team.
2. Be positive (although this was kind of hard considering we heard so many stories of uphill battles).
3. Write down notes during the meeting. After the meeting, type up the note and send a follow-up summary to everyone at the meeting. (And if there are any unfinished business, make a follow-up appointment before the conclusion of the meeting.)
4. At the end of the meeting, we did try to summarize the meeting by saying, "Just to summarize what we discussed here.... and I believe the principle will check on this... and the counselor will get back to us on this... etc."
5. Plan some fun activities after the meeting.

And, if you have not done so, check out this link http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10286.aspx. It will lead to many other useful resources.

Hope this helps.... and good luck! We will be rooting for you!
Mag

This sounds oddly familiar to me too.

This gets my vote. You could leave the door open with "I'd like to consider these options and meet again." That would give you time to mull over what they are offering and come back with a strong case for something else if necessary.

One more thing: anytime you request something, DO IT IN WRITING. Verbal requests can be, and frequently are, ignored. Written requests are part of public record.

Thank you so much for the advice, it is very helpful. I will def. use and follow it.

Cat

Get as much as possible in writing.
Chrys

For my DD7 we worked things gradually. First we asked that she be subject accelerated in certain areas and allowed to go to the next classroom for her lesson. We used the phrase "free and appropriate education", she needed to "learn how to learn", and was "entitled to have a lesson from the teacher on the blackboard like the rest of the kids in the classroom, rather than a separate individualized lesson in the corner when the teacher was able". The subject acceleration for 1/2 days was last year when she was in 1st grade she spent the other 1/2 day in the 2nd grade classroom. As the year was ending we spoke to the 2nd grade teacher who would have received her again the next year and really concluded ourselves that would not work for her. After some intense worrying on our part, several meeetings, etc. We did find out the last week of school they would promote her into 3rd grade in the fall where she is now. Had we asked for all that in the beginning, we probably never would have received it, but the gradually approach did work for us. As Mag mentioned it is important to know what your state and school district allows so you know what actually is possible for you to achieve. I wish you success in your meeting.