Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy kids read parenting books?

I was re-reading Deborah Ruf's book just these few days--and it's so amazing. The first time I read it was when my kids were much younger and it had not occurred to me yet how hard it can be to find a good school environment for them. Now that we've been through everything, I feel that Ruf's book was such an accurate description of the teachers and schools that we met, and of our experience from being naive and hopeful to frustrated but still hopeful to finally giving up.

But anyways, DS9 saw the book lying around so he picked it up and read a few chapters. He felt that this is such an awesome book! Finally someone describing his experience at school and making sense of everything! Finally he has realized that some other kids out there are going through exactly the same bad school experience as he is.

But should I let him read it? He does read lots of books written for grown-ups and I did let him read a few parenting books such as NurtureShock and Outliers (hardly a parenting book but does have so many good points). But on the other hand I don't want him to be too conscious about being GT and about GT education. I don't want him to feel different or special (of course everyone is special but I hope you know what I mean), and I want him to respect schools and teachers and the other kids at school. And I don't want him to inadvertantly mutter something to his teachers and friends that he read from the book.

Have your kids read books on GT education? Would you let them?

My first thought is that I can certainly understand why you're a bit wary of giving up your "playbook" (probably the first sports metaphor I've ever used in my life...). BUT one of my greatest beliefs about gifted education is that gifted children have the right to know that they're gifted and understand what that means. The way so many people will only talk about children honestly when the child isn't in the room just appalls me. Actually, my advisor for my GT Masters program wrote a piece called "The Gifted Child's Bill of Rights" for Parenting High Potential magazine, and the right to know about one's giftedness was #1 (if you're interested: http://www.gifted.uconn.edu/siegle/Publications/PHPGiftedBillOfRights.pdf). Speaking as someone who had to realize I was GT for myself, since my mom refused to accept it and my dad knew I was "smart" but didn't know much about what it really meant to be gifted, it caused a lot of unnecessary pain trying to understand everything on my own. I didn't become truly comfortable with my own giftedness until I was into my twenties, and I've only been comfortable talking about it since around last summer. This is a big part of your son's identity and I think he has the right to know as much about it as you can teach him.

By the way, I used to read my mom's parenting books, which were developed for "normal" children and which she tended to take as reinforcement of everything she was doing wrong. I thought they were hilarious.

I used to read parenting books, as well, and used to drive my mother nuts on occasion by giving tips on dealing with my older siblings from the books she kept on the shelf. However, none were on gifted education, as no one in my family or small town knew what that meant, and I feel that reading that may have helped me understand myself and my experiences as they were happening, instead of later in life.

One of my kids picked up Ruf's book when she was seven or so, and now at nine has read through the full book many times over. I sent Dr. Ruf a photo of dd reading the book.

My rule is that if they are interested, I let them read it, unless there is something objectionable, or I believe that they are not ready to handle the content.

Thanks for the reply everyone. I decided to let DS keep reading it as long as he wants to.