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    #45286 - 04/22/09 03:53 PM Upsetting conversation with teacher
    bronxmom Offline

    Registered: 02/17/09
    Posts: 173
    Hi, I am imagine how you guys are going to respond to this one.

    I have been on the verge of homeschooling my 6yo son for months now, but without the support of my family, it's just so hard... So I agreed to leave him there for the rest of first grade-- after all, they say, it's just first grade and it's almost over!

    Yesterday I had a conversation with the teacher in which she said that he's done so little work in the past month that she's not sure she can pass him.

    Holy ##$%!

    So my question is, how important is it to avoid something like a "failure" that will go on his "permanent record?" His report cards up until now have been pretty good, despite the horrible year we're having, so do I need to be very careful to get now while the gettins' good?

    #45287 - 04/22/09 04:00 PM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: bronxmom]
    LMom Offline

    Registered: 12/14/07
    Posts: 902
    Oh my. I would worry less about the permanent record and more about him. How would he feel if the teacher let him fail? What kind of effect would that have on him? I expect pretty bad.

    It may really be time to pull him out. Do you think it would help if you, DS, and the teacher had a meeting to discuss his work?

    #45289 - 04/22/09 04:16 PM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: bronxmom]
    Mom0405 Offline

    Registered: 03/24/09
    Posts: 237
    I would ask about what the repercussions would be of taking him out now. [Although, I probably would do so. I only have a DS4 though.] Would it still be a fail? Would it just count as if you just homeschooled him all year? Do you need to get permission to homeschool prior to pulling him? I would just get my ducks in a row prior to doing so. So you could say that you just decided to homeschool him with all the proper paperwork filled out; so that they couldn't come back and say, "we already failed him in 1st grade." All in case you need to put him back in at some point. Anyone else?
    Mom to DS6

    #45292 - 04/22/09 04:29 PM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: Mom0405]
    bronxmom Offline

    Registered: 02/17/09
    Posts: 173
    I certainly am worried about his self esteem at this point!

    There's no way I'm letting him "fail."

    I'm also wondering how paranoid I have to be about getting him out quickly, before the school takes any more action or documents anything more about him.

    #45293 - 04/22/09 04:45 PM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: bronxmom]
    Katelyn'sM om Offline

    Registered: 10/22/08
    Posts: 1085
    Loc: Austin, TX
    Bronxmom... you might have already given a breakdown of what has happened in the last few months that the teacher would claim she might need to fail him but could you add it to this thread?

    And keep in mind that this is 1st grade the idea of them failing him and what it does to his permanent record really shouldn't be the major concern. Really if he is pulled out of that situation and either home schooled or moved to another public school or private school and he is successful for his school career it just shows that there was issues with the situation he was in not that he was a failure. So I hate reading 'There's no way I'm letting him "fail."' It implies that HE is failing when it sounds (and again I really don't know the whole story) like the school is failing, especially with your comments such as producing good grades during the year.

    Definitely consider removing him from the situation. Because the bottom line is not his permanent record but his self esteem.

    #45295 - 04/22/09 05:30 PM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: Katelyn'sM om]
    bronxmom Offline

    Registered: 02/17/09
    Posts: 173
    Hi Katelyn's mom,
    Well, in addition to the OEs we are all pretty familiar with, this year he developed a weird autoimmune problem that caused erratic behavior and writing problems.

    Here is the original thread I posted about him:

    Even here I now realize I am suggesting that he might "flunk" first grade, though I did not believe it could really happen!

    This whole year has been a big disaster, and she's right-- he's simply not doing his work. Though his grades for the first two grading periods were pretty good, which I thought was strange at the time... I actually suspected the teacher was just trying to be nice to us!

    She is not really saying "flunk" or "repeat" but just that there won't be enough work to give him a grade.

    I don't think homeschooling will miraculously solve all our defiance and resistance problems, as it has for some people here, because he has an underlying physical problem, but I do think it's probably the best thing for him.

    #45310 - 04/22/09 08:16 PM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: bronxmom]
    Mom0405 Offline

    Registered: 03/24/09
    Posts: 237
    Maybe he just needs some time to heal. It is all about our kids, their self esteem and self confidence. And they need to know that we are still proud of them through all of the everyone else's garbage thrown at them. I was reminded tonight that all of this stuff (whatever it is for each of us) does happen for a reason (I believe to protect our kids in advance); and no matter how upset someone else makes us feel - we are being pushed for a reason. Have faith that along the way, another door will be opened. I am hanging onto that one myself.

    Sorry if this didn't help much; but know that we are pulling for you.
    Mom to DS6

    #45349 - 04/23/09 08:16 AM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: Mom0405]
    questions Offline

    Registered: 11/24/07
    Posts: 864
    Originally Posted By: Mom0405
    Maybe he just needs some time to heal.

    I think this is good advice.

    #45551 - 04/25/09 08:36 PM Re: Upsetting conversation with teacher [Re: questions]
    2Bornot2B Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 04/25/09
    Posts: 2
    Hi, brand spankin' new here but I wanted to post a quick Thank you for your post! It prompted me to join and feel that I may have finally found the "right place." Sorry, so new I don't really have advice, just a really genuine, supportive Thank You!


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