A positive way to say the no hitting rule: Keep your hands to yourself.

Because the population in our house is ever changing we have house rules posted in the family room. We have 10. No stealing, no lying etc... Whenever a new child comes in, we discuss them and make sure that they are all understood.

My teenager seems to be testing everyone's limit at home these days. I've tried the simple rule: Respect yourself, Respect everyone at home, Respect the house.

I've now resorted to posting these Parent's Bill of Rights on our fridge and it has gotten better results:


We, as parents, have a right to be treated with respect.
We have the right to say no and not feel guilty.
We have the right to know where our kids are, who their friends are, and who they are with at any time.
We have the right to demonstrate we care by occasionally verifying or spot checking our children's whereabouts. We may, for example, call host parents on parties or overnight stays.
We have the right to set a curfew and enforce it with restrictions and loss of privileges.
We have the right not to condone any alcohol or drug usage and to say no to attendance at activities where alcohol or drug usage may occur.
We have the right to make mistakes and/or change our minds.
We have the right to ask questions and expect answers about all things which may affect our children.
We have the right to monitor all school related activities: academic, behavioral, and social.
We have the right to know and consult with adults who influence our children's lives, i.e., coaches, employers, teachers, youth group leaders, ministers, and counselors.
We have the right to know what is happening within our own home, to set "house rules," and know the identity of guests who come into our home.
We have the right to assign our children chores and other family responsibilities appropriate to their ages.
We have a right to promote time together as a family, which may include meals, outings, study time, and other planned activities.
We have a right to be authoritative when logical explanation and reason have not succeeded.
We have a right to have family rules and consistently enforce them with appropriate consequences.

Being positive is very, very important to us; but he needs directness as well. I guess if we discuss the changes as we write them it will be very helpful though! I can then ask him which wording he prefers, and then all of the rules are made by him!:) Thank you! I tried the "I can't hear you" tactic with the whining previously to no avail.:(
Sometimes (well, a lot) I get mind freezes and cannot think outside my box. I keep telling my DH that I need a few days in the office every once in a while to get my adult brain back.:) If only I could find a good sitter.

Great, thanks:)

Thank you Shari! I wish teachers would do that at school as well. Then everyone starts on even ground.

I'll have to copy this for when DS4 gets older.

The screaming is usually an emotionally frustrated scream (shrill). We do say "quiet" or "inside voice" when he gets excited about things and is in a restaurant, etc.

I'm not surprised! One of the reasons I'm convinced that my working is good for our family is that there's no way I'd manage to be a properly reflective parent without this time to myself every day. (Although of course I do admire people, and I know they exist, who do manage to do a good job of SAHMing.) Getting a good sitter will be easier as he gets older, won't it? At least I got more relaxed about who we used as he got further away from babyhood and I was confident he could negotiate/explain as necessary. Are you planning to homeschool, or will there be school coming up soon too?

I love these! All of them. What great ideas!