Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Help! Middle School Acceleration.

Help me please guys!
Today DD LA teacher summoned me at dismissal time and said that we have to move my DD ahead in LA and probably also in Math.

She told me that my DD is practically waisting time in her LA class and is "so ahead of other kids, I can't even begin to explain" (teacher's words).
I could not talk to her at lenght, it was more like a one minute conversation because Ghost was going rafting and I had to drop him off right after school. She (teacher) said that we can either try changing her math and LA classes so she will be taking those subjects with 6th graders (she is in 5th grade, young fifth grade, her birthday is end od May), which will totally "screw her schedule" (teacher's words:-O ),
or we can grade skip her into 6th. DD wants to grade skip but purely for prestige. I would do it but..
I have Ghost who has flatly refused today to listen to any arguments (the school would grade skip him into 8th at my request, they have tests to attest to it). Ghost says that he is going to be bullied, will look like a total nerd, will be the worst kid in PE class ( he is not the best in team sports), and presents an absolutely NO, don't even think about it attitude. I had about 30 min to talk to Ghost and DH about it, they are gone rafting now for the weekend, but DH (who absolutely wants to grade skip both of them as well, can't figure why?)promised that he will have some conversations with Ghost over the weekend ( I am thinking like when? as they are going over rapids?)
Anyone in the house who did grade skip kids in middle school?
As you know from my earlier posts, I do have reservations about grade skipping and it's affects on HS life. Ghost is becoming very social lately, in 7th grade there is a good body of his, they are planning to start film club at the school.

Hi Ania!

All I can do is tell you how it went for me. Of course, I have no way of knowing if my experience is relevant to your kids' situations.

I was a shy, quiet kid. I was bullied in gradeschool. When we moved I started 6th grade at a new school and found it difficult to make friends. I wasn't bullied but I was just sort of ignored. My mom had me take a test to get into a local school for the gifted and I passed. I skipped 7th grade and started 8th grade at the gifted school. I loved it there and enjoyed myself until we moved to another state the summer before my junior year.

My junior year I started at a regular high school at the age of 15. I actually suffered more mistreatment from some of the teachers than from the other kids. I took Calculus as a junior and it was very easy for me. The teacher didn't like it that I came from another school and was better than "his" students. He constantly singled me out as in "Didn't anyone get this problem on the homework? I'm sure Cathy got it right--Cathy come up here and show how you did it." This happened every single day! He even went so far as to put a very long arithmetic problem (no calculator allowed) on the final and then announced to the class that they shouldn't worry about that problem, he only put it on there so I wouldn't get 100% again. He always announced how I had "ruined" the curve after every exam. I complained to the school counselor about this teacher's treatment of me. His response was, "Well, you're getting an 'A' aren't you? What are you complaining about?"

Mostly, I was just ignored by the kids. I didn't really make friends there and didn't have any interest in attending prom, etc. Since I was shy and reserved this didn't really bother me, I was just eager to go on to college which I really enjoyed. I did join the swim team in high school and lettered in swimming. I tried out for softball, but since I was a junior I had to try out for the varsity team which I didn't make.

All in all, I am glad that I was grade skipped--it allowed me to go to college as soon as possible. The high school social scene just wasn't that important to me.

Cathy

We decided against grade advancing our son to 7th this year based on a few factors. The first reason is the very high regard we hold for the teaching ability of the two sixth grade teachers. We�ve kept him at this school so that he would finally get these teachers for 6th grade. The other reason is that he hopes to attend a level 4 high school where he would be amongst peers. Had he been skipped this year, he would only be 16 at high school graduation. One of the colleges that he has expressed interest in attending, a U.S. service academy, has a mandatory age of 17 for acceptance.

These are the reasons that we turned down the offer at this time (middle school age). If we had been offered the skip earlier, we would have taken it and I�m confident the result would have been favorable.

Ania,
Would you only skip DD, if Ghost were advanced at the same time?

I am a big fan of subject acceleration. Many kids could benefit from it, although schools consider it a big pain. I would like to see our teachers utilize all those Masters of School Administration degrees to figure it out.

Wow, thanx for so many responses!
Delbows asks:
That is a big part of my problem . You have to understand, that while my daughter is in the top 3-5% on her abilities , my son is in the top 1/2% or higher. He is the one for whom grade skipping seems just obvious, however we have not done it so far. For the first five years of formal education he was stuck in a private school that did absolutely nothink for us in terms of advocationg.We were offered it when Ghost first started current school in 5th grade, but he was accomodated so wonderfully compared to what we were used to, that we did not even think about it.
Dottie writes:
That is exactly what this school was doing when Ghost first started there 2 years ago. 5/6 and 7/8 had math and LA in the same block of time. So he was albe to do Algebra 1 and for LA was in the top scoring class of all 5/6 graders. However, for the next year the school changed a little, they decided that it was not so god for the kids to be mixed up that much and while he still continued into Geometry, in LA he was in the highest class of only 6th graders.But because those kids were grouped together for one subject, they continued together inot almost every other class. It was a strong group. This year seems to be even worst, as both son and I do not believe they grouped them according to ability at all.
So, had I known that things are going to change in the school, I would have agreed for a grade skip for Ghost from 5th to 6th, while he was still very agreeable.

This is a very interesting topic to me. I am generally a proponent of skipping when a child is advanced across the board (not just math or just reading/LA). I think the K-12 system was developed as a framework by bureaucrats because they had to have something to work with in starting public education. But each child is unique and some might only need 9 or 10 years of education before moving on to college. It should not be seen as a "set in stone" system--just my philosophy.

That said, there is literature about specific acceleration recommendations based on IQ and/or SAT scores, and Ghost's very high scores suggest he could do multiple grade skips or even early enrollment. I agree with Dottie that the kid has to buy into it. For instance, my kids have each skipped one grade and I think that was great--they related better to kids just one year older and didn't stand out too much being smaller & less developed (important in the middle school years). But my kids all say they don't want to skip again, even if they are working at more advanced levels. I think they don't want to be pariahs.

Another consideration is that middle school is such an important time for physical, emotional, and educational development, that fortunately my kids skipped early and will go through middle school years normally. For me, middle school was probably more important than high school in developing my interests and passion for learning, gaining self-confidence, etc.

If Ghost is getting into a groove socially, perhaps consolidating high school would be a better strategy. Here, there are plans for finishing HS in 3 yrs vs. 4. You and he will need to judge whether middle school or HS would be the best time to "condense", but clearly he's able to move ahead...now it's just other factors to think about. I would suggest, based on what you said, to move your daughter ahead earlier, so the middle/high school years will be intact.

One other note is that my oldest son plays soccer with his buddies from high school. He has always been used to being the smartest, best at everything, so even though he's very good, his size/development disadvantage make soccer a challenge for him and something he is not the best at. I think it's good for him.

Good Luck & let us know what you decide--I'm so interested to hear how others solve these difficult decisions.

Cym

I'm sure you're right!

I guess the relevant part of my experience is that if Ghost is finding school extremely unpleasant, he may see an advantage in getting it over with as quickly as possible.

No, not at all. They were willing to juggle my son's schedule for 2 years.
I just got off the phone with a mom of my dd friend. Both DD and her friend got 100% on LA portion of end of level test. In addition, friend got 100% on math as well. My daughter did not get 100% as she has made one mistake. Over the summer friend's mom has met wit the principle x 2 to discuss grade skip. The prinicipal did not agree to grade skip, citing friend's imaturity as the main reason (the girl is tall, looks like at least 6th grader, but is really clingy to her friends and has some difficulties sharing them)but she did accomodate her by placing her in 6th grade for LA and Math. And there is a promise of placing her in 7th grade for LA/math next year. Here though is my problem - I would not be so sure about it. The school seems to be changing it's format from year to year. Look at my previous post and see, that my son was much better accomodated in 5th grade than he is now. I realy see now that you HAVE to take it year by year :=)
There is a little problem here as we are seriously considering Ib program for him.And IB program is inflexile, he will have to be in it for the entire 4 years (9-10 is pre-IB, 11-12 is IB diploma).

One other thing. That mom I just spoke to has told me, that there were only a handful of kids who scored "above grade level" at that end of level 4th grade test. The rest was either "at level" or "below". This is quite interesting piece of information.

I am going to present him this point of view when he gets back home tomorrow :=)

H Ania -
sorry this is turning in to such a hassle. I'll bet that when Ghost returns from the weekend with dad he is seeing things differently.
As for DD's friend - I wonder if the clingy/immature behavior is caused by misplacement in the first place?

Love,
Trin

No, Ghost did not change his stand.
He does not want to be accelerated to 8th grade at this point. Reasons are PE, friends, girls, girls again (yep, he is already getting into this stage and realizes that older girls won't have anything to do with him). He will accept anything but a comlete grade skip.
Over the weekend a poster from CC e-mailed me a long story of her son's math and sciences acceleration. A great story of perserverance, luck, and just searching for the best options. He started to be accelerated in 7th grade. By 8th grade he was done with AP Calculus BC and AP Physics.All through HS he was allowed to proceed on his own. He is starting his second year at Harvard this fall.

So this am at the school I spoke again briefly with DD LA teacher (the one that started the whole commotion). She is visibly advocating a full grade skip for DD, I am still not so sure about it. She knows Ghost really well (her son and him are best buddies)and still told me that if he does not want to skip, that is his problem and that I should not hold back DD because of family dynamics. She does have a point. Anyway, we started looking for Principal and she was nowhere to be found. Then I found the Principal and together we started looking fo LA teacher. While walking the hallways, I explained to P. what it was all about. She was open to discussing the situation but very much against the whole grade skip. Anyway, it was really late by the time the three of us found each other and now I have 1:30 P.M. meeting to discuss Ghost and I was promised that by this time she will look into my D situation.

Now, lets talk about what we want to advocate for Ghost. We want him to be moved to 8grade LA at least and do some kind of an online course (like writingguide.com) during LA. We also will be asking for an individual course of study in Science.Since the school worry so much about end of level testing, we will propose that Ghost takes end of level in a month or so(mock end of level), to prove that he is ready (I think that one month will be plenty to cover 7th grade science curricula) and during classes be allowed to take online chemistry and physics rom BYU.
He is far enough in math already, he needs to start using this knowledge in other subjects.
Any suggestions as to my arguments? I still have more than 3 hours to brainstorm. Will be checking back frequently.