Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion What should an ungifted 20-year-old do?

I know that I'm not gifted since I failed the CogAT in 11th grade, and I don't recall passing any gifted and talented tests in elementary school. I'm taking two years off of my university studies in astrophysics and mathematics due to bad grades (C's and B's) and due to being so pissed off at being such a horrible failure in high school.

What should I do with my life? I've been asking myself this question for years now.

Welcome!

I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing these struggles. I would encourage you first to seek some IRL support from persons with balanced long-term perspective on this stage of life, whether from among your personal relationships, or with a professional.

Secondly, may I note that Bs and Cs are not bad grades in rigorous university STEM courses, such as those in which you were enrolled. Also, in your previous posting you described yourself as second in your graduating class--hardly a horrible failure in high school. So please give yourself a little more credit for your objective level of academic performance.

Whether or not you met some arbitrary criteria for intellectual giftedness during K-12 school is much less important than the choices you make regarding yourself from here on out. You got yourself into a university in a challenging major, and had enough self-awareness to consider that you might need some time to work on other aspects of your being before proceeding further in your education. These are not the marks of a failure, but of someone who is thoughtfully considering how best to make use of their gifts and life experiences.

I would encourage you to take this time to explore the situations and pursuits which make you feel most like you are being both true to yourself and a contributing citizen of your community. When you have a moment that reflects even a little bit of this, try to identify what it is about that moment that resonates with you. Consider, perhaps, journalling those moments or otherwise keeping a record, so that you can periodically look back for patterns. Ways to explore those pursuits might include volunteering, engaging in a variety of hobbies, or trying out different entry-level employment situations with the dual purpose of subsistence (of course) and exposure to different career possibilities and fields of study -- not just in your own nominal job, but by observing up close how others' jobs work.

Beyond a certain point, your potential will be less impactful than your choices.

All the best.

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - Dumbledore

OP, there isn't any special "gifted track" in adult life, and having been identified as gifted in childhood means approximately nothing for your adult educational or occupational status. I was identified as gifted, and I'm disabled and live in crushing poverty. Life outcomes mostly come down to a combination of luck and what you make of it.

Gifted programs in schools are, at least in theory, about meeting differing educational needs, not about being a status symbol. If your school treated it like one, that's very unfortunate.

Yes, but I find it difficult to believe that I wasn't at all gifted and talented to them after reading through those U.S. presidents books with Lexile levels over 1000 in third grade while most of the gifted kids on this site read fantasy books with lower Lexile levels. It makes no sense whatsoever, and it continues to bother me to this day.

With as much gentleness and respect as I can convey to you across the internet, may I suggest that allowing the opinions and judgements of others from many years ago (very possibly limited or mistaken) to rule your experience of yourself now and your choices into the future is punishing yourself for the errors of others. Those persons or organizations no longer have authority over you; any power they have is power you abdicate to them at this point.

I reiterate, HIQ, that while there is nothing you can do to change the past, you can absolutely make choices about the future. Your capacity to learn, grow, create, and act as an independent moral agent is not limited by the labels you may or may not have received in school. You have many more opportunities open before you than any you may have lost previously.

Why are you so certain that you are gifted, HighIQ? If you didn't pass gifted test or do well in courses usually for gifted people then why do you think this? Because of books you read in third grade? You should note that our gifted kids read these fantasy books for enjoyment, not because they are limited by their IQs to do so.

Maybe you need to look at yourself and ask why you need to self-identify as gifted. You sound bitter about this. You can accomplish what you want in life without the label.

I wasn't trying at all in those college courses due to depression from what happened in high school, and I did get into three high-IQ societies with the highest cutoff at 146. At least I never acted like a toxic jerk in real life like some "gifted" people I knew in high and middle school.

I wasn't really interested in the fantasy books.

HighIQ - Unfortunately, many/most "gifted" programs have NOT been created to identify the pupils needing more/different/accelerated curriculum and then matched the program to each child. Instead, many/most schools had a program and/or activity in mind and then sought to populate it with a group of pupils who "fit" that somewhat narrow offering. GT selection rules may have included (non-relevant) criteria such as older sibling in program. Therefore (as an example) an only child with a 150+ IQ may NOT have been identified/selected but a dozen children with "optimal" IQ 124-132 and older "gifted" siblings may have been selected.

I'm guessing that some version of this type of program and selection criteria may have been at work in your school days. BTW, many gifted readers prefer nonfiction, as it appears you did, when you read about the Presidents!

I am hereby retro-actively declaring you gifted. Complete with angst of those having an IQ above the optimal range, and no good match in academic placement, pacing, curriculum, or intellectual peers. Embrace that part of yourself, and nurture the best of its abilities, for the world at large may not recognize or encourage it. As a former gifted child, now a gifted adult, embracing the giftedness may include emphasis on strategy and problem-solving abilities. A world of possibilities is before you. You are always welcome here.