Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Gifted Struggles

Our DD12 8th grader has sometimes been written off as disrespectful by some teachers as she doesn't accept the pat answer. She will question question question... The good teachers love it because they know she is engaged. We had a current teacher write some snarky comments on DS's report card this year actually using the phrase, "little intellectual". On the other hand one of the teachers actually gave DD work tailored just to her!! So exciting!

Socially? It's tough. Right now DD is friends with a boy who also doesn't fit in. She just isn't in to typical 8th grade interests. She quit bringing books about science to school several years ago because girls were making fun of her. I would say that I doubt students at our new school would do that as it's very academically focused.

Welcome! People who are struggling with gifted issues are definitely not alone. Great idea for a thread, to provide affirmation, validation, and support to those experiencing gifted struggles. Because your example of struggling was messing around in math class due to boredom as you already know the material, it sounds like you are a gifted kid. Hopefully someone is advocating for you, and/or helping you learn to self-advocate for a better "fit" in school... matching the curriculum to the student, for your continued growth and development. I also hope that you are not getting into trouble or being treated harshly for messing around in math... not being pointed out in an embarrassing way... not being given detentions, etc... as your behavior does not appear to be the root cause of a problem but rather a symptom of a problem.

I see basically two sources of many gifted struggles:

1) Intrinsic differences.
Gifted are different, a small minority of the population, about 2%. Highly, exceptionally, profoundly gifted are even more rare. Therefore it may be difficult for gifted kids to meet true peers. It can be lonely being gifted and having few others with the same interests, insight, understanding, and knowledge base. Being different can be isolating: No one to talk to, who "gets" you. Kids can suffer.

2) Extrinsic differences.
The educational system is intentionally set up with a focus on bringing the population up to a standard, and tends to neglect or even de-motivate those functioning/performing/achieving above the standard. Gifted kids often do not get their needs met for appropriately challenging curriculum and pacing, to continue their growth and development. Rather there is a focus on closing the achievement gap... which may entail capping the growth of students at the top. There are other posts of negative school strategies/techniques/policies/approaches which gifted pupils have experienced as schools work to achieve equal outcomes among all pupils. These strategies may often create gifted struggles. Some of the negative experiences of the gifted being treated differently have included the underhanded strategies listed in this brief roundup:
- requiring 100% on pretests
- selective access to redo opportunities
- announcing "pop quiz" dates to selected students while withholding information from others
- spreading the credentials among a broader bunch of students (at high school level)
- differentiated task demands
- standards-based grading
- policies which lack transparency
- denying accelerated students their earned awards
- withholding acknowledgement of accomplishments, to appease wealthy donors

Some signs of struggle and suffering may indicate that a change is needed or may be overdue.