Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Child sings to self while working

Does anyone have a child that sings to him/herself softly while working? I have to find a way to help my child (1st grade) stop this behavior. It is a real problem at school. I think she does it when she is happy, she does it when she needs to focus, and she does it when she is anxious and wants to block things out.

This is not a new thing. It has gone on forever and has always been a problem, but she really has to stop.

I enjoy singing while I work. My dd 2 y 10 m will sing about the activities she is planning to do. She will sing new lyrics to any song, and create new melodies and lyrics. I love this about her, but I hope this does not cause her problems at school. She doesn't sing softly, but loudly and often breaks out in dance, so I guess she may have a problem in school where she must remain seated at a desk and not disturb the other children. This scares me. Not so much that she will not out grow this, but that she will.

It depends on the reason. If she is trying to block there may be other ways. I talk to myself when trying to block but sometimes earmuffs help with that. Probably she will largely grow out of it by herself as she comes more aware.

DS often sings while he does his math. He also has a hard time sitting down when he is taking tests or in classroom discussions. I have been surprised but he is typically allowed to get away this at school.

It does not seem to impact his learning or concentration.

Both of mine sing when they concentrate, at least at home. They don't, as far as I know, sing at school, but DD's psych report mentions that she demonstrated excellent effort - and "hummed, sang and whistled" her way through the tasks. But that may be part of why they can focus better at home than school...

In another family, close friends of ours, both kids and father make a low humming noise when focused. The three together on task sound like a buzzing hive.

DS10 has another close friend, also gifted, who always hums when he works. His mother has always been deeply concerned about this in the classroom, but only one teacher so far has ever found it a problem - and she had serious other problems. This child has been DS's regular seatmate for most of the last six years, and other teachers have always told me it doesn't bother them and it doesn't bother the other kids.

So yeah - pretty common around here!

I would be cautious about trying to break your DD of this habit. It seems like singing or humming is an important focusing mechanism for quite a lot of the kids around us, in the same way that some kids need to be moving around in order to be able to think. If that seems to be the case for yours, it might be better to try and manage it rather than stop it. Perhaps gently help her be aware that she does it, so she will know what people are talking about if they complain. Try to come up with a pleasant, non-disturbing version of her singing that she can try increasingly to use at school. The only time I have seen kids even notice, never mind be disturbed by, a low hum is when the teacher started picking on it. And build this issue into your teacher requests or discussions: i.e. "we know DD sings when she thinks; please make sure she's matched with a teacher who wouldn't be fussed about this."

I write to the lovely accompaniment of song, as DD8 sits next to me building her new birthday lego.

ETA: Sleepover last night, DD now joined at Lego by one of above-mentioned friends. Her soundtrack now has a bass line.

Wait, that's a problem?

I've done this since before I could remember. My #1 does it constantly. We have had to discuss how it affects other people, but I don't see a need to extinguish the behavior.

As a child, I remember that I definitely did it because I was happy, and also to focus myself. I used to sing my study materials, too. In college. Made me a great study group partner--not!

If this is a problem at school, I'm not sure I would consider her quiet humming to be the issue, so much as the classroom culture. Most first grade teachers I've known don't mind soft humming or singing in children who are on task.

I always thought singing engaged the brain - wasn't there some study that showed people who sang while they drove were involved in fewer accidents than those who didn't?

Anyway I never gave this a thought, DH and I sing constantly (me out of tune) DD and DS do too, I hadn't thought about school - I guess I don't remember being ask to stop though...

DS sings a lot very audibly while focusing - actually, the humming is more than the singing. It was a problem in 1st grade, so he stopped doing it in class (very strict teacher and he was probably scared of her or wanted to be in her good books). The 2nd grade teacher is OK with it, so he is humming or singing at school now while he works. At home, when he is alone and is focusing on work, he sings. Music is a part of him - he is a very musical child and he is always humming a piano piece he is working on, a tune he heard somewhere or an original musical composition. The musical compositions are always for a soundtrack of an imaginary episode of the story of the bad guys vs good guys that his brain is constantly visualizing.

The K and 1st teachers had a problem with it because it distracted the neighboring kids from their work. I guess his singing and humming is quieter now because it does not seem to cause any distraction any more.

Both of mine do this at home all the time. I've never heard from a teacher about them doing it at school. I wonder if they do?

Mine doesn't just sing, he will play his recorder at home while he works. Of course that doesn't work if he is writing and he can't and doesn't do it at school. He always seems to know he couldn't do this as school and it was usually not a problem. The time it was a problem was in 6th grade, he was having major problems with anxiety and he would start muttering the more anxious he got. Working with a psychologist and learning different ways to focus that anxiety helped.

My ds 11 sings all the time. He especially sings while doing homework. In 5th grade during our PT Conference all the teachers made comments about the noises he made while working in class. I told them he sings and especially when he needs to stay on task. Some gave me a funny look and some said it is a sign of a happy soul. He is better this year but at home he still sings up a storm. The day he doesn't sing I will wonder whats wrong.

If my son stops singing, making noise while doing homework. It's time to check if he has gone off track. It's when he is totally quite that I know he is not doing homework.

My gifted DS7 does ALL.THE.TIME. sings or hums. But he home-schools so it's not too much of an issue.

There are some practical advantages as an adult as well. I was in an office with two others about a year ago. You know, I sing while I work. Well, one of the ladies in the office pulled me aside and told me that she did not think she could get used to it, so I apologized, and gave up singing in favor of playing an imaginary drum set. A couple of weeks later I was given my own office. I don't know if it was related, but if it was well that is how I got my own office - win.

I'd really ask first whether it bothers the teacher (solution: get over it!) or the other kids - it's a problem only ifTHEY complain, not if the teacher think it might. If they do, you might want to explore having her move to her own desk, or to the reading corner, or something, as long as they do not put her out into the hallway....

Good advice! I'd add one extra thought: with our friend the at-school hummer, no child ever took note in his first three years of school. Until one (very high-strung) teacher who couldn't stand it began to constantly demand he stop. And *then* the kids did start complaining, but only because the teacher had created an issue and they were responding to her lead.

Fast-forward three more years, and no other teacher has ever complained, and no kids have ever mentioned it again.

So I totally agree it's only an issue if the kids think it's an issue - but even if so, it's also worth making sure they haven't been primed to complain.

My son does this and it drove me nuts until it was explained that he does it to block out other noises and help him concentrate. A classroom environment can be very distracting so it may just be how they concentrate in the chaos. If the teacher doesn't like it, some earplugs may help.