Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Acceleration - DD 1 yr. younger than older DD

Next Tuesday we have a meeting with DD9's principal, AIG specialist, and many others including our psychologist who is pushing for a grade skip to 5th grade. We have the scores, the achievement; we have the backing of the psych; we have a Duke professor arguing for the skip as well. BUT, DD's big sister is in 5th which is one of those big obstacles to grade acceleration. Our counter-argument is that DD9 and DD10 are ALREADY in 5th grade together because of SSA in math (they are in the same math class) plus they are together in AIG math and a foreign language class. If we grade skipped DD9 she would actually be separated from DD10.
I have pulled together research from Davidson and NAGC. Is there any research that can bolter our argument that skipping DD9 can work despite the sibling issue?

"Our counter-argument is that DD9 and DD10 are ALREADY in 5th grade together because of SSA in math (they are in the same math class) plus they are together in AIG math and a foreign language class. If we grade skipped DD9 she would actually be separated from DD10"

Oops! Forgot to say they would be separated because they would end up with different teachers and on a different schedule.

I can't help you on the research, but you can point out that quite often twins are in the same grade as each other.

The IAS manual is a great tool, but this is where I think Belin-Blank went off course. You can be a perfect candidate for acceleration, but if you have a sibling the same age, or one year older - you are excluded.

--S.F.

Found this interesting info on the motivation of the IAS as it relates to skipping a child into an older child's grade: http://www.springville.k12.ia.us/vnews/display.v/ART/51856c345f5ef


Your counterargument is sound: the family dynamic is not altered, therefore, this concern is not valid.


To offer some contrary anecdata, I have a brother two years older whose physical and emotional maturity level was always quite close to my own (he was delayed due to infant medical issues). I never saw him as an older brother, but as an equal (and sometimes as an inferior) peer. If my mother had practiced ageism between us, I would have punished them both.

It is possible the IAS has changed on this issue. DD13 had her first grade skip when the 2nd edition was the most current, and sibling receiving grade was listed as a disqualifying factor then. For her second whole grade acceleration, I did not as thoroughly read the 3rd edition (especially on this issue as DD18 was 4 grade levels ahead of DD13 at that time).

Even though they ended up 3 grade levels apart, there were still sibling rivalry issues. DD18 did not appreciate DD13 being a freshman in HS during DD18's senior year. Depending on the attitudes of the kids, I think you may always end-up with sibling issues.

--S.F.

I am just curious what the school sees as an issue re siblings being in the same grade? I don't have any research to share, but fwiw when I'm advocating (for whatever) I find that one of the most effective tools is simply to think through all the reasons the school would say "you can't do x" and then think through logical answers to why it will be a-ok to do "x" and why "x" is the best choice etc, then have those arguments penned down so they can be automatically, and non-emotionally, tossed back at the school staff when they raise the issue.

FWIW, I actually would be cautious of doing the skip (please don't think I'm anti-skip - I'm not!)… but in this situation, I'm one parent who would think twice about it, so maybe some of the things I'm thinking are similar to what your school is thinking (?)… anyway, if they are, if I put them out there, you'll have a chance to think through them

What I notice in what you've posted here is that you're focusing on your dd's academics, which can clearly benefit from a grade skip. You're also thinking about skipping her at an age where being put into the same grade as her older sibling might not be a hugely big deal (for either your daughters or yourself). But as a mom, I'd look down the road to high school - by skipping into the same grade, you're going to have two daughters starting to date at the same time (perhaps), two daughters learning to drive at the same time (most likely), two daughters graduating high school at the same time, and two daughters going to college for the first year at the same time. All of that might not seem like much now, and for some families it might not seem like a big deal ever. Granted, if you were raising twins that would be what it is. BUT you aren't raising twins, and as a mom of slightly older kids, I am starting to really see that end-of-high-school thing on the horizon, and I've seen a lot of my friends go experience that senior year of high school as a bit of a special time in their lives as well as their children's lives. So I'm kinda glad (just for me) that I'm *not* going to have more than one child going through it at once. I'm also glad I haven't skipped any of my kids because selfishly I want them home as long as I can. I didn't necessarily feel that way when they were younger, but the older they get and the closer they get to their college years, the more I realize I want to stretch out their childhood at home just a wee bit longer.

So that's just me, and I'm likely in the minority here But I wanted to point it out because you might have people that are on your school staff who are looking at things the same way… so it's something to think through.

polarbear

I've tried quite a few ideas on looking for research to support IAS's assertion of sibling relevance to the decision. But I had no luck.

Having had an older lower-achieving sibling and a school with no concept of gifted led to everyone involved having significantly lower expectations (and execution) of my performance than would ideally have been the case.

Underachieving is an easy fruit to grasp and hard one to let go of.

Here is another post on this issue, which quotes the IAS3 on this facet.

Note that IAS3 acknowledges awareness of positive anecdotes regarding skipping a child into the grade of an older sibling.

IAS3 also discusses skipping a child into the grade of an older sibling as an issue of "family dynamics". Family dynamics are within the family's control and parents may seek assistance, possibly from the psychologist, for support with managing family dynamics, including any issues of sibling rivalry.

Here is a quote from Hoagies Gifted Education Page:

I wonder about all these issues as well! I am not even ready for DD10 to go to middle school - never mind DD9!! I have been looking for small charter schools which have staff willing to keep a watchful eye on DD9. Honestly, if we had a school that would single subject DD in both LA AND math that would be great. But our district makes a family choose what subject they want for SSA. One can't have the child do both. Isn't that crazy? Then, what about the other subjects? DD already knows the experiments done in science because DD10 did them last year. And the fact that DD does not do well socially with other 9 year olds. Ugh. This is so stressful. Do I add that DD's teacher is not the best (as posted elsewhere!)?
I did have an interesting conversation with the psychologist today. She is all for a grade skip, and is also going to ask the school for an IEP vs a 504 to address both the giftedness and the ADHD (inattentive). The school stated that because DD is not getting poor grades she would get a 504. The psych. insists that because DD is so advanced plus has a LD that she needs a gifted IEP. How will this all play out is anyone's guess. Our state rarely offers gifted IEP's.

Question - how do schools handle the other subjects if a child is SSA for both math and language arts? Does the teacher give differentiated work there as well? Then it seems that the child might as well go to the next grade anyway. I would like to hear how people found ways not to grade skip yet kept their child engaged and challenged (and happy!).

The idea of children leaving the nest at 18 is like, sooooo 1960s, man.

Two years ago DD9 was having anxiety about leaving home, which was probably made more acute by the fact that we were openly discussing a grade skip, which would push her out a year early. We assured her she's welcome as long as she likes. We discussed how it's common for kids to live at home while attending university, and we'd probably prefer it due to costs. We discussed how adults have transitioned to the working world and still lived at home until they were comfortable with leaving, and how it benefits all parties. DD then decided that she could still move into a house on our street after that, as there were some available.

Thus assured, she's currently planning on how to shave another year off of high school.