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I wonder sometimes about DS's expressive language. He's definitely ahead of the milestones in this area, but he has some quirks that make me think... For example, he often has trouble coming up with words. He'll use ambiguous terms like "that" or "this" and when I press him to explain what he's talking about, it's clear that the words just won't come right away (even for items I've heard him call by name repeatedly).
He also has trouble expressing himself if anyone else is talking. He'll say, "I want you to be quiet! I'm trying to talk!" And then he'll just sit there for a minute saying, "Um... uh... um..." Finally something will come out, but it takes a while to gather his thoughts.
It's really difficult to know what is simply personality or developmentally varied or a true developmental delay with expressive language when children are so young. With our ds, no one recognized any one thing as standing out as an obvious sign of an expressive language disorder, and the things that were signs of it we all (parents, preschool teachers, friends, family etc) saw as simply adorable little quirks, engineer personality (there are a lot of engineers in the family), genetics (previous generations of family members here and there who didn't talk... and to be honest... most likely had an expressive language disorder that no one recognized as such!). Even when he was struggling in school and had his first neuropsych eval the expressive language disorder was missed - hiding behind his dysgraphia. It wasn't until he was around 9 years old and finally able to tell us that he was having a hard time with certain kinds of situational communication that we realized there was more to his challenge than dysgraphia.
I am not saying that your ds has an expressive language disorder - it's really really *really* tough to separate out at his age. I just wanted to point out why I now see the importance of imaginary play, and I'd keep an eye on signs - the disinterest in imaginary play, searching for words etc - once he's in school and once he's a little older and better able to tell you himself what's going on inside, it will become (hopefully!) clearer re whether or not it's just personality or it's just a phase or it's something more.
Best wishes,
polarbear
ps - fwiw, our ds also had (still has) difficulty with directions - it's *sometimes* a sign of an LD -
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It can also take a fair amount of time for him to process directions.
I say, let the children play. If it is "imaginative", then so be it. If it is "intellectual", then so be it. Let them be themselves, and follow their own developmental trajectory.
Interestingly, my older child was huge on imaginary play but rarely did it *with other children.* It was usually a solo activity, where she would talk for the animals, dolls etc to herself but not involve others. The exceptions is/was her brother--I think she is able to trust him enough. Sometimes she would do it with us, too, but it wasn't of great interest to her to do it with us. She definitely has a rich internal imaginary world, though (these days it is channeled into creative writing).
Anyway, I actually thought of this as another sign of her mild social delays. Imaginary play with other children is quite challenging. There are no rules and you have to collaborate very intensely.
I think imaginary play is really important. There are probably other ways to achieve some of the same ends, though.
Really interesting thoughts! It's nice to hear others' experiences with this.
Polarbear- I've thought there might be something going on for quite a while, but as you noted, it's just so difficult to know what's going on at such a young age. I appreciate your comments and I'll keep them in mind going forward... Oh the irony of waiting for a child to tell you he CAN'T communicate!
Oh the irony of waiting for a child to tell you he CAN'T communicate!
LOL!
The *really* ironic thing for me, though, is that now that my kids are older - my ds who has the communication challenge is also my child who I have the best open door communication with - he will tell me what he's feeling and I can ask him anything and get a straight answer - granted, sometimes it's not easy to pull the info out, but he is willing to share and the info I get is credible. My dds, otoh, who do *not* have expressive language challenges... are much more likely to try to pull the wool over my eyes or leave out significant details on purpose or forget key things that might be important for a parent to know
DD6 has spent most of her free time doing imaginative play since she was about 2. Maybe I can say that her life is centered around imaginative play. She makes up stories with anything she sees. Everything she draws on paper, everything she builds with Lego has a story. She mostly plays by herself, but also loves to play together with other kids. When she plays by herself, she voice acts for different characters without speaking out the actual stories. But when playing with other kids, they would have to speak out the actual stories. I noticed that DD and friends always enjoyed imaginative play endlessly, even if the friends do not normally do imaginative play at home.
On the other hand, math is definitely her strongest subject by far. I guess this made me believe that imaginative play and mathematical thinking do not need to be mutually exclusive, but can actually complement and help each other.
By the way, I think the TV series Backyardigans is wonderful for promoting kids' imaginative play, and it's one my DD's favorites.
Based on observing my dd4.8 ( so really limited sample size), I think children use imaginative play to understand the nuances of social interactions, understand deeply a new concept they have learnt and imagine new situations that they may or may not encounter in real life and of course, just for fun. Dd has engaged in imaginative play for as long as I can remember and some if the characters she assumes are permanent fixtures that have been with us for more than a year and others that are created on an as needed basis. Dd enjoys playing pretend with adults and children alike. however, with adults, she can be the boss as adults tend to understand their exact role and will let her direct their words and actions. With children, she goes with the flow. While I enjoy watching her, I must admit that I am exhausted by the end of some of the crazy pretend days and I crave for normalcy, where I can be me and not in some elaborate role.
