Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Child asking for IQ score

Awhile back I purchased "The Survival Guide for Gifted Kids" which DD (just turned 9) dragged around everywhere for a couple of weeks. I had read good things about this book. Fast forward to this week, and DD is begging for her IQ score. This request came out of the blue, and I had no idea where she even got the IQ term. She then mentioned the survival guide, and how kids with an IQ of a 100 have an average IQ, on and on. When I told her that I would give her that information when she is 18, she began to talk about how she probably has a score of 100 because she is so average, etc , etc. She asked me again yesterday, and again I said, "When you are 18." She's mad that I won't share. Sigh. I won't tell her of course, but if I know her, she is going to go search so I need to hide the paperwork! Who has had all this go on?

I don't think I would hide this from her now that she wants to know. Wouldn't hiding this information may do more harm than let her know about the facts in a matter of fact way?

We had that book and didn't it give information about what range a gifted IQ is? Maybe she just wants to know if she fits into this category. Maybe having a discussion about the definition of "gifted" would give her more information about the topic without giving her the specific number.

If she persists, maybe giving her more information about why "she is more than a number" and that effort is always going to be important, or something like that would help.

I apologize for not being able to tell you where this is, but I have heard that kids can take quizzes (or something) online to find out where their area of strength is (the idea of multiple intelligences). Perhaps she would like to explore for herself in what areas she has particular strengths to get a bigger picture.

I agree but understand that there are differing views about this. A compromise could be to give a score range, for example telling her that she was "moderately gifted" with an IQ in the range 130-144 (if that was the appropriate label).

Would you consider showing her where she is on a curve? That way she can know she's unusual without getting hung up on a number.

Our daughter asked what her scores were for the Stanford-10 she took to get into the program. We didn't tell her the score. We did tell her that it was "very high" and that she did very well on the test. Maybe she's looking for an idea a range? I did have a discussion with mine that it wasn't something to brag about to others just in case.

Yes-- and this is a better, more true answer to the (likely) underlying question, anyway-- most of our kids know that they are "different." What they really want to know is HOW different-- and why.

I guess this is one good side for never having tested DS, I can't tell him what I don't know.

As a parent of a teens I tend to dislike the idea of telling a child that they can't know something until they turn 18. Because it's likely they are going to find out on their own, and then won't talk to you about it because it's forbidden. IMO by the time a kid is in High School they should be involved in advocating for themselves and be privy to this kind of information if they want it. That doesn't mean a 9 year old needs to know her IQ.

I am curious what are you worried will happen if she knows her IQ? Perhaps if you think about this carefully it will help you figure out how best to respond. Sounds like you need to have a discussion about why she wants this information and what she is going to do with it. I agree with the other posters that perhaps you can explain what range her IQ is in, rather than the actual number.

If you buy her a book for gifted kids she is probably going to want to know whether she is gifted. Does the book have a table of levels of giftedness? If so you can say which category she falls in.

I'd tell DD if/when she asks - anyone got good examples of bell curves? cos I like that idea