Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments UPDATE: Officially w/d to Homeschool...

Yes. I am feeling particularly passive aggressive. It does make me angry how they have acted towards a 6yr old's disabilities. It's just plain wrong. But like CDfox said I am also looking ahead to removing their power to impact my life or my child's. When my son woke up he was so excited to start "homeschool" and asked to do "art" first. He just completed "an ultra angry bird launcher".

I think the only part I don't like of attacking the process is that the person most responsible for that process is the school psych who I felt was the only one trying to help. I don't want to send any negative energy her way.

when we withdrew DD5 from her school last year, i wrote the emotional letter and then edited it down until it contained virtually no content that could damage us. even if it was passed around, which was quite likely, i wanted it to reflect our departure in a positive light.

this school had refused to accommodate DD's needs while she was actually their student all year long. now that i was withdrawing her, i realized there was no possible way this letter would teach them anything new. you simply can't teach that which someone doesn't want to learn.

so the final letter was brief, businesslike and positive. i thanked the people who had made good-faith efforts on DD5's behalf, and wished everyone well in the future. it felt good.

HappilyMom,

I've been following your story. It's a painful thing to read about and I know the "wall" some educators can erect when they're being defensive. It's a wonderful thing you've done to take your ds out of that environment.

I agree with HK's and MON's versions. Both of them take the personal out of it and act as a warning to the school itself that they'd better get their act together. For whatever reason, they didn't have accommodations in place in time for your ds, and for whatever reason, they neglected to train and educate their teachers on how to deal with the dx and accommodations.

I understand your outrage. That teacher's mocking attitude is an absolute disgrace. But the school is only going to be moved by how it can affect them legally in the future. In your letter, pretend to be advocating for a child who is not your own. How would you proceed?

It's wonderful your ds is having fun with school at home.

your kid is awesome - i hope he loves homeschool as much as my bean does!

Okay here is my letter very much taken from HK and MON's suggestions. Am I good here or would you make additional edits? I really am grateful for everyone's feedback here. It is so helpful for me.


This is to inform you that as of September 16, 2013, our child, DS will be withdrawing from attendance at Elementary.

We really appreciate your efforts on behalf of my DS, educating your staff on his needs related to his disabilities. Despite everyone's best efforts, in the absence of a working IEP in the classroom, DS' lack of accommodations for disabilities has resulted in an unacceptable situation where DS is unable to access the curriculum without significant harm.

Unfortunately, we cannot allow our DS to continue in Ms. x classroom since without accommodations for his disabilities it is a hostile learning environment. We look forward to working with you again in the future, and again, thank you for all your efforts on DS' behalf.

I would take out the "hostile learning environment" sentence. They know Ms. X is a problem; you do not have to tell them. Principals hate it when you try to manage their staff for them; this sentence wins you no friends, and the one before it did the work that needed to be done.

I like some of geofizz's language too.

DeeDee

I agree with DeeDee's suggestion. I'd also eliminate the phrase, "Despite everyone's best efforts," because frankly, they can and must do better. This is an unnecessary platitude that does not correspond with your true feelings, nor the spirit and content of the letter.

DeeDee... good points. Took out hostile language and added Geofizz's last sentence...

Dude... yes. the efforts were minimal to absolutely none. this now rings more true here.

Feeling happier with it. Any more feedback?

-------------------------------
This is to inform you that as of September 16, 2013, our child, DS will be withdrawing from attendance at Elementary.

We really appreciate your efforts on behalf of my DS, educating your staff on his needs related to his disabilities. In the absence of a working IEP in the classroom, DS' lack of accommodations for disabilities has resulted in an unacceptable situation where DS is unable to access the curriculum without significant harm.

Unfortunately, we cannot allow our DS to continue in Ms. x classroom without accommodations for his disabilities. We look forward towards continuing to work together to develop DS' IEP to allow him to learn in a classroom environment accommodated for his learning and physical needs.

I have followed your struggles with your school system and feel for you. I myself went through a bad advocacy sitaution for my DS last year.
When I did end up pulling my son out of PS this year, a few of the friends IRL who had waged advocacy wars against the local school system told me that if there is reasonable proof that a teacher was harming your child in some way, it is within your rights to ask for a transfer to another classroom. Just retain a lawyer with a history of taking on the school district and send a notice to the principal that you might take legal action if things were not fixed. Same is the case for an IEP not being followed or your child's disablities (which were confirmed by a medical professional) were not being accomodated.
Since you have reached a point where advocacy is not working to your satisfaction, and if you really think that another teacher might make things better for your child and an IEP being followed would help, you may want to consider this option before you withdarw your child from school. Ofcourse if you are committed to homeschooling for the long term, then this principal and teachers are not going to be part of your life for a long time - in that case, go ahead and send in your lettter. Good luck.

ETA: Don't worry about hurting the feelings of the people at school etc. They are doing a sloppy job for you - it is your child who is being hurt. My friend who sent legal notice to the school is a local hero because he stood up for his DD against a really uncooperative school administration. The school is very compliant with all her needs now because they don't want to spend $$$ on lawsuits in this age of drastic budget cuts.

Thanks for your feedback Ashley. There are more issues than the teacher... she's really just the most egregious example. Even with IEP there are several more issues with acceleration and being able to get his cognitive needs met.

One factor here is that we have been told since our son was tested on WPPSI/WIAT at 4yrs that he would never fit in a traditional school environment and we should strongly consider homeschooling. We did not want to hear or believe that...

Unfortunately in the 2.5yrs since that statement, we have had this message confirmed over and over by both professionals who are gifted experts and school personnel at public and private. I think the severity of the current situation has only brought home that we must consider that the evaluation that school would never "fit" is much more likely than the supposition that any amount of our efforts is going to move us to an appropriate environment for our child.

My husband and I are not the burning bridges types. I want to keep all doors open to future options as my child and those options shift over time. I was once told that for a child like mine you have to re-evaluate fit every 6 months. I know where we are today but don't presume to have the future figured out. It's tough navigating it all.