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    #153598 - 04/16/13 11:05 AM Silent Lunch
    1frugalmom Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/02/12
    Posts: 312
    Loc: Central United States
    There was a post a while back from jaylivg
    http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/B...html#Post152493

    I agreed that having a silent 5 minutes at the end of lunch would be difficult and that losing recess the next day for not following this rule did not make sense. I now have one even better - that makes even less sense to me.

    Some of DD9's classmates have been having issues at lunch time. The note that was sent home said they are acting silly, talking, and not eating. It was decided that the solution to this problem should be 3 days of "no talking" during lunch, then the students would have the opportunity to "earn the right to talk" at lunch back if they could "handle it". That is a group of 8-9 year olds sitting shoulder to shoulder and toe to toe with each other for 15-20 minutes without any talking what-so-ever. The note didn't say specifically what the consequences would be if a student did talk during this time, but it did mention that detention would be given for any "excessive" talking.

    Here is the kicker...these 3 days just so happen to coincide with math state assessments, which IMHO makes this not only a bad idea, but a really bad idea!

    Some of the same things that applied to the previous post apply here. Lunch is a time to talk with your friends and kids need this down time. If kids are too busy talking to eat then they will already have a natural consequence of being hungry later. If a child is not one of the ones talking then why should they be punished by not being allowed to talk at all. If they don't get their social time in at lunch they may try to get it in during class instead. Then on top of all that, why start this at the same time of state assessments.

    I followed the advice I gave to jaylivg and nicely and calmly explained our reasons why we have concerns about this. We spoke with DD9 and tried to explain what was going to be expected of her at lunch the next few days and made some suggestions to her about trying to sit away from others that might cause her to want to talk, etc.

    DD9 assured us she will be too busy eating to be talking since she looked at the lunch menu and told us she likes what they are serving the next 3 days. We can only hope!!!

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    #153608 - 04/16/13 01:20 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    Irena Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/26/12
    Posts: 1733
    This lunch stuff is ridiculous. Thank God our school seems to have a "normal" healthy attitude about lunch time. First of all, the 'whole kids aren't eating enough' and administrators deciding "if the children have eaten enough then they can socialize" is also ridiculous. No wonder there is an obesity problem! Let the kids decide how much to eat! I'd really be annoyed if some admin who doesn't know anything about my kid making him eat more. We were always told that lunch is a very social time for the and so if you pack do not pack too much b/c it is just wasted. I am more than happy to give my kid some healthy food (fruit, etc) wen he gets home if he is hungry.

    I think all these struggles about lunch time and silent lunches and not letting kids talk 'til they have "eaten enough" etc., ect. are absolutely ridiculous and damaging!

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    #153611 - 04/16/13 01:48 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    SiaSL Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/11/10
    Posts: 320
    I am going to go on a limb and guess that the administration wants to make sure the kids are well fed and in best condition for afternoon testing. Our school certainly lays the "good parenting" recommendations (enough sleep! healthy nutritious food! no stress!!!) with a heavy hand around this time of the year.

    Although I wouldn't be surprised if MoN was right about the slides wink

    As for the impact of results, after getting a handout from DS-then-8 teacher last year in second grade (first year of NCLB testing) about getting the kids' stress level down and a list of things to tell them about the test (starting with, no, you won't get retained if you "flunk") I was curious and asked him what he thought would happen if he did badly on the test. He informed me with horror that he would have to go back to 2nd grade the following year.

    Knowing our school/teachers/admins *that* one is purely a playground legend, probably fed by some slightly misguided parents (slightly misguided because at the lower level of academic achievement individual test results *will* have a strong impact on a child's future in school).


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    #153615 - 04/16/13 01:57 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: Irena]
    SiaSL Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/11/10
    Posts: 320
    Quote:
    I think all these struggles about lunch time and silent lunches and not letting kids talk 'til they have "eaten enough" etc., ect. are absolutely ridiculous and damaging!


    The implementation might be sorely lacking, but the fact that your child/most children can eat and talk at the same time does not mean that the problem these schools are trying to address, however badly, does not exist.

    I have exactly the child that gets these policies put into place. Talks, doesn't eat, behavioral issues from low blood sugar. Fortunately for him the school addressed the issue through his IEP instead of trying school-wide "fixes". But not all kids have the "luxury" of an IEP.


    Edited by SiaSL (04/18/13 10:56 PM)

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    #153618 - 04/16/13 02:16 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: SiaSL]
    Irena Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/26/12
    Posts: 1733
    Originally Posted By: SiaSL
    Originally Posted By: marytheres
    I think all these struggles about lunch time and silent lunches and not letting kids talk 'til they have "eaten enough" etc., ect. are absolutely ridiculous and damaging!


    The implementation might be sorely lacking, but the fact that your child/most children can eat and talk at the same time does not mean that the problem these schools are trying to address, however badly, does not exist.

    I have exactly the child that gets these policies put into place. Talks, doesn't eat, behavioral issues from low blood sugar. Fortunately for him the school addressed the issue through his IEP instead of trying school-wide "fixes". But not all kids have the "luxury" of an IEP.


    I hear you but, IMO, the vast majority of children eat when they are hungry... They do seem lose that ability when adults force them to eat and not eat at arbitrary times... hence obesity and eating disorders. If a kid has an eating challenge then that can be addressed in a 504 or iep or just talking with the school... But, most children should be left alone and be the judge of whether their bodies need more or less food... My friends who are from Europe are shocked at the amount of 'force feeding' of children Americans do... and they are right, imo. All of them shake their heads and say "no wonder America has an obesity problem."

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    #153621 - 04/16/13 02:51 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: Irena]
    Dude Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    Originally Posted By: marytheres
    I hear you but, IMO, the vast majority of children eat when they are hungry... They do seem lose that ability when adults force them to eat and not eat at arbitrary times... hence obesity and eating disorders. If a kid has an eating challenge then that can be addressed in a 504 or iep or just talking with the school... But, most children should be left alone and be the judge of whether their bodies need more or less food... My friends who are from Europe are shocked at the amount of 'force feeding' of children Americans do... and they are right, imo. All of them shake their heads and say "no wonder America has an obesity problem."


    And anecdotally, it carries on into adulthood. I've regularly had lunches with coworkers who complain about their weight, and when we talk about causes, they universally point back to "clean your plate" conditioning in childhood. These conversations would take place in restaurants, and I'd be the only one pushing away my plate with food still on it, and not coincidentally, the only one at a healthy weight. Restaurants regularly overfeed people, because each big-eating customer they send away hungry, they won't see again... or the groups that would have dined with them.

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    #153625 - 04/16/13 03:00 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    Zen Scanner Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/13/12
    Posts: 1478
    Loc: NC
    In discussing eating rules at home, I pointed out that we should have DS make the rules as his instincts haven't been warped through guilt, etc. (I also like this idea as I believe I would end up eating more chocolate ice cream in the long run and still lose weight.)

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    #153628 - 04/16/13 03:14 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    Mk13 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/20/12
    Posts: 761
    I do believe growing up in Europe the system we had was a lot more beneficial to kids' healthy growth. Say our school day started at 8:00am, had a 20 minute "big break" for a snack from 9:40-10:00am (which was food kids brought from home, eating in the class ... 99% of the kids had some sort of a sandwich & fruit) and then the kids whose school ended around 12:00-1:00 (the youngest kids) went to lunch building right after school, where they used a prepaid ticket that got them soup (if they wanted one), main meal, drink (water or lightly sweetened mild tea), fruit and sometimes a tiny desert. The portions were just right and those "growing boys" could usually go get seconds if they wanted to but nobody was overfed or starving and since this was the end of the school day for the little ones, they could eat and socialize without rushing. And the bigger kids would have one full hour free period (between noon and 2pm depending on their schedules) when they would go eat their lunch in that same lunch building with the same lunch offered again and after their one free hour they would go back to finish with their classes. Again ... no rushing ... no frustration. Just healthy eating habits (and the main meals were basically homemade meals (on a budget) made in huge quantities by the lunch room full time cooks. The very few overweight kids I remember were those that had medical conditions. Everyone else was fine.

    So, to me lunch was always about eating and socializing at once. I cannot imagine staying quiet during lunch time. It's enough having to be quiet during class! I'm still feel uneasy about the super rushed lunch time "lock down" I had to get used to when I came to the States as a Junior in high school.

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    #153633 - 04/16/13 04:35 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: 1frugalmom]
    daytripper75 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/29/10
    Posts: 341
    Is going home for lunch an option? I think that is what I would choose!

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    #153652 - 04/16/13 08:18 PM Re: Silent Lunch [Re: daytripper75]
    1frugalmom Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/02/12
    Posts: 312
    Loc: Central United States
    Originally Posted By: daytripper75
    Is going home for lunch an option? I think that is what I would choose!


    We really considered this, but..
    1. we really hoped DD could do it and thought if we didn't give her a chance to do it then we were basically telling her we didn't think she could do it. 2. we were concerned about any possible consequences of being "the parents" that took their kid out while all the others stuck it out and also any possible consequences for DD for us doing this 3. would it cause more issues by having her leave school to eat, which would probably mean getting to go to g-ma and g-pa's for lunch (since DH and I would be at work) then possibly have her not want to go back to school

    I did get a response to our concerns and it sounds like we weren't the only parents that said something (thank goodness!!!). The school tried it for a day and DD did get in trouble. It is a long story, but needless to say, in DD's mind she did nothing wrong, but technically she did talk during the time when she wasn't supposed to and she now hopefully knows that no talking quite literally means NO TALKING. I hope there isn't an emergency at lunch because we have told DD not to say a word no matter what. The school may try it one more day, but they are going to look at other options. They said they did understand our concerns and seemed very understanding and receptive.

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