Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy How to build relationship w/school? Help needed!

Hello all,

I'm looking for advice on potentially building relationships with the principals of a couple of our local public schools. I want to explore early enrollment at the schools, which would mean either Kindergarten next year (for my older son, who will be 4.5 at the start of the school year), or 1st grade (or beyond) the following year.

We are looking at multiple schools because we know that (due to wholly unrelated circumstances) we will be moving next summer. Thus, we could move to any school district in town, and it would be lovely to not have to move again anytime soon. My husband and I would like to tour the two elementary schools that we've heard good things about, and I've been told to contact the principals at each school to arrange tours.

So, as I prepare to contact them, I wonder....what should I say? We have done no testing, so I have no test scores to share. (We plan to test sometime after 4 and before 5.) I can provide anecdotal evidence (e.g., reading before the age of 2, writing before 3.5, solving basic math problems), though I often hate to do so, because I find my (true) claims are met with disbelief.

I feel I cannot simply arrange the tour, that I also need to bring up the possibility of early entrance, to gauge the principal's attitude/receptivity. But how to do it without sounding entitled, or like a braggart?

I would love advice from anyone who has been through this (or a similar) process before. Thanks!

Generally, stay hypothetical and ask questions about what they do with advanced kids. And listen carefully to find out if they believe in GT, or that everyone is equal, or that everyone evens out, etc.

Find out what programs they have and what the criteria is. Do they have early admission?

When asked specific questions, speak of your child's drive or love for this or that.

Here are some old threads that might be of value as you look for the future:

http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/30387/1.html
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....rst_contact_with_school_s.html#Post48945
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/125076/1.html
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/51078/1.html
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....rue/Re_School_Frustration.html#Post44832

master of none's advise is great! I'd just add that I wouldn't go into very many specifics with the administration at first.. but I would bring up that your child is already reading, and what types of things/books he's reading. It's easier for them to swallow a kid reading early (not super uncommon) and that's typically the primary thing kids learn in Kinder. Starting with the fact that your child is already reading, and you'd like to know about early enrollment shouldn't be a huge stretch for them.

cloudpear,

Actually you can visit the school without talking to the principal. You just call the school and ask if it's OK for you to come and tour the school.

But you most likely have to talk to the principal about early entrant (before 5). But since your DS already reading, writing and problem solving Math already and I would keep a year at home and skip K.

Make sure the school has good gifted program. If you do not have friends, ask your realtor about your dilemma and ask if he/she knows the principals or teachers or parents (with gifted kids) in those schools. Some realtors are well connected.

When your DS starts the school, volunteer at school especially the prinicpal's pet project. He/she will know you and will go along with your request as long as reasonable. (my experience anyway :-)

Great advice above... I would just add one thing... sometimes principals change, and school atmosphere and policy changes with the change in staff. Staying flexible is key. If it comes down to a decision of moving to a city/area you want to *live* in vs a city/area that only offers a great school, I wouldn't put all my eggs in the school basket... things like principals can change very quickly in just a few years!

I would also look longer term than K-1 - what middle school options are there? High school?

polarbear

Many public schools will post their early entrance or grade skipping policy on their websites somewhere. Look for a district policy link. Many districts won't publicize this too heavily but policies probably exist.

For example, ours won't admit early K (ie must be 5 yo), will only do early 1st if they are coming from another state but in 2nd grade you can enter them in whichever grade is appropriate. There is also a policy set out to skip grades and/or accelerate in a subject (for MS and HS).

I want to echo the volunteering! Get in there, shelve some library books, make some copies, fill the copier machines with paper.

Thanks so much for all the great advice!

I know that both schools have gifted programs, but I don't yet know what all that entails. I also know that one of the schools allowed early entrance to a child in the recent past, after she jumped through several hoops for them. (This is a big reason the school is on our list -- that and the fact that she and her family felt she had a good experience in the school.)

master of none: I really appreciate the suggestion to ask hypothetical questions, speak of our son's love of astronomy, and generally try to stay low key. Thanks also for the links to previous discussions. I will look through them.

amy: Good to know that mentioning early reading may be better received than other information.

Peter: I would love to keep my son home another year -- or two, or indefinitely. We are also looking into homeschooling, but I don't know whether we can make it work, logistically.

polarbear: You're absolutely right, things can and do change. However, we are in a huge metropolitan area with many areas we would be happy living in, so using schools as a deciding factor works for us, for now.

The area we're currently in has solid middle schools and a well-regarded high school. But in addition to looking at the two public schools, we're also going to look at some private schools (which I don't know we can afford) and public schools in another district.

Thanks again for all the great thoughts!

Talking with schools takes practice so start with your least favorites and see how your advocacy blossoms! One thing that worked well was not only contacting the principals, but also contacting the school psychologists. Parenting a child that is out of synch with their peers is challenging- both for kids that are way behind average but also kids that run way ahead. Parents want to feel proud, but also understand the difficulty of discussing kids that are ahead of their peers. Psychologists can help observe and offer a mediation between parents and administrators, especially if there is observation and testing to help back up the issues at hand.

Testing was a great investment because it seemed to help advocate on a "data" level rather than just the emotional level. Even if they didn't have much experience dealing with the problems at hand, nowadays- research is readily available on both sides that can help reach a positive decision faster than ever before. Just don't give up and keep looking for the best solution.