Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Help with Advocacy - Show challenge

Hello,

I'm in need of help advocating for my DD. She has qualifying test scores for a gifted program. However, she does not raise her hand in class or "show" her giftedness, so I've been told. I've been told repeatedy she must "show" she is a leader and gifted to get into the gifted classes. She is a girl and would prefer to blend rather than "show off." I've been unsuccessful advocating for her with the introvert or social emotional argument. I've tried to tell the teachers and administration that she wants to have friends and she believes the suggested strategy would be off-putting. (Also, she is just an introvert like me and there is nothing wrong with that title!)

What would you do? To me, it appears the gifted program is targeting extroverts, but that is not how they see it. I'm baffled at the "show" part as I would assume the test scores "show" the results for themselves, but I am repeatedly told "no" that is not enough. She has a wonderful teacher but she is not challenged with the work. This is year three of "not being challenged" (for example - math does not ability group at all) so I am starting to become concerned.

Hi zebras; how frustrating! Are you in a public or private school system? If public, there is likely a district policy and chain of command you can follow. If the policy includes a requirement such as "must demonstrate leadership in the classroom", you may be out of luck. But I've never seen a GT policy like that. I would start with a paper trail, if you don't already have your request and denials in writing. Email is fine. Then figure out who is above the people who gave denied your requests and put your advocacy hat on.

I was so shy in grade school; it would have been torture for me to speak up in class. But maybe you can ask your DD, as a limited time experiment, to share in class to see if that helps. Or, even better, ask her if she's willing to self advocate by talking to or writing a letter to the teacher asking to be placed in the GT classes because she desires the chance to be challenged. I would say courage to self advocate shows leadership.

I agree with st pauli girl's advice. I'm also curious - is the gifted program housed within your dd's current school, or is it a pull-out at a different school or a full program at a different school? If it's not housed in your school, I'd try emailing the person who is the "gatekeeper" of the actual program, and letting them know about your dd and her qualifying scores. You might find (in this type of scenario) that the people in charge of the actual program are more than happy to admit your dd, but your school staff is the stumbling block.

I am certain your child is not the only gifted + not-speaking-out in class student in the gifted program! Plus... fwiw... I'd be tempted to remind the people who are telling you she's "not showing signs of leadership" that being outspoken isn't the only way to demonstrate leadership. What about paying attention in class, doing what is expected of you, being kind, being a good citizen - seriously, make up a list of all the ways she's showing her gifts as a leader in school *other* than raising her hand in class.

Good luck!

polarbear

That's absolutely bizarre! I have never heard of such a thing! Since when is it okay to penalize a child for being shy? Especially in a society where they are often picked on for being the "smart kid"? Although I think it would be helpful if she actually spoke out in class, I wonder if that is actually the right way to go about it. I remember being so shy in middle and high school, I was shaking and on the verge of tears when I was asked to stand up and introduce myself to the class. The fact is that you can't force a child to be an extrovert. And just because they are introverted does not in any way take away from the fact that they are gifted. Is this even legal? I'm grasping at straws here, but there has to be a case to be made for a child who is obviously bright, but doesn't show off her talents. I wish I had more to offer in the way of advice - all I can say is to check the policy for your state (not just the school - I have seen administrators flat-out lie about it.) Speak to anyone and everyone involved with the program, because it's often surprising who turns out to be a helpful advocate. Keep us posted - I'm curious about how this turns out!

I don't think that speaking up in class to answer questions shows leadership anyway. What a weird situation.

Thanks for the advice. I plan to compile a list of activities. I will also have her write a letter.

The qualifications are a bit of a mystery wrapped in an enigma. It is a combination of IQ, Achievement, and teacher recommendation. Test scores will keep you out. But, you are not necessarily in if you meet the gates either.

I'll let you know how it goes.... It is so frustrating.

It might be interesting to find out their current boy/girl ratios in the gifted program as "classroom leadership" has been shown to have a gender bias.