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    Joined: Dec 2010
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    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    We have alot of options too, so I want to take some time...
    Again, I just have to find out the proper procedure to pull her out but not enroll her in another school right away...

    This might be helpful:

    Homeschooling laws

    There are links down the left side of the page that take you to homeschooling laws for many different regions.

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    aculady, I don't even want to register her as a someschooler yet though...I think what I want is a "contract". that's what our school calls it when you know a child will be out for an extended time so you get their work, etc...

    I don't know if we are homeschooling yet, she wants to try another school too, didn't ask if we could go straight to homeschooling...


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    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    We have decided to leave, it's obvious that this isn't the right place for her, but I also have to make sure that it's because of giftedness (with or without another factor) and not because she really has something serious going on. We are not running AWAY from this school, but looking for an option to run TO.

    I hear you. It's awful to be in a bad-fit place. And I think you are right to consider what else may be going on besides just giftedness, or even giftedness plus ADHD.

    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    BTW-the "bad" or undesirable behaviors at school are things like refusing to do work, reading under the desk, monopolizing discussion periods.

    Could be boredom; could be ADHD; my DS9 (gifted/Asperger's) presents like this in school, too. I hope your outside evaluator is looking broadly for things that could make completing and turning in work difficult, not giftedness alone. If there's something there to catch, you'll want to find it.

    DeeDee

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    omg, that was horrific! am I reading this right?

    "Each person between the ages of 6 and 18 years not exempted under the provisions of this chapter or Chapter 3 (commencing with Section 48400) is subject to compulsory full-time education. Each person subject to compulsory full-time education and each person subject to compulsory continuation education not exempted under the provisions of Chapter 3 (commencing with Section 48400) shall attend the public full-time day school or continuation school or classes and for the full time designated as the length of the school day by the governing board of the school district in which the residency of either the parent or legal guardian is located and each parent, guardian, or other person having control or charge of the pupil shall send the pupil to the public full-time day school or continuation school or classes and for the full time designated as the length of the school day by the governing board of the school district in which the residence of either the parent or legal guardian is located."

    that sounds like I HAVE to educate my child for the same number of hours that they do at the regular school? So, nevermind if she could finish the required work in half the time?


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    DeeDee-we chose someone from Hoagie's list, on the testing page. I already met her and really like her. We have IQ testing first, next Tuesday. Part of the reason we are in this place is to rule out ADHD or other things, especially since, so far, the school doesn't see it asa boredom or gifted issue, just a behavior one. I am confident in the dr we are seeing and the school wanted her to see a counselor of some sort anyway. I'm also in the middle of Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis...so maybe not just gifted/ADHD, but any o ne of a number of other things that you KNOW the school's testing would never reveal.

    I feel, at this point, that the school has tried to put the entire burden on my shoulders, that I am somehow not doing enough. I thought this year was going to be different, but the situation has finally come to a head. I want to reach across the table and shake them and say "I KNOW my kid isn't the first kid like this you have seen? WHAT did you do with the others???" Maybe the REAL problem here is MY EXPECTATIONS are finally colliding with the reality of the situation, which is much more dismal than I ever imagined. I never imagined that principals and teachers would say a kid who demonstrated the ability to work on a higher level that they aren't ALLOWED or supposed to. it's taken ME a long time to accept that she might really be THAT bored and that is the answer?

    I am hopeful that she thinks a different school is the answer and that she is not so soured on the experience that she is begging to be homeschooled yet...


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    Wow, while I am not surprised at this post given your previous ones on the situation, I am saddened. You want to ask what they did with other kids like your dd? I would guess the same things until their parents withdrew them or the kids became completely alienated from school. I can't believe they won't let her even try the other classroom! That is crazy. It seems that they have drawn their wagons in a circle and aren't going to budge. I think it makes total sense to move on.

    AND they SUSPENDED her! That seems overly harsh. IMO they are giving you a message that they don't want her in the school. Which is weird because, from your descriptions she doesn't seem like THAT much of a problem. I wonder, perhaps if the teacher is insecure/resentful towards your dd because she knows your daughter is smarter than her. You'd like to think teachers wouldn't be that ridiculous, but there are always the bad eggs.

    I don't know what the paperwork involved in signing up as a homeschooler is, but I wonder if you could just go ahead with it just to make sure your bases are covered. It sounds like your dd could use a few days of recovery anyways and maybe some time to remember that learning is fun and not forbidden! Plus, you don't want to feel rushed in choosing a new school for her.

    Finally, I feel like a concern about ADHD is premature personally. As I understand it, to qualify as ADHD the behaviors have to persist for more than 6 months and in more than one setting. If the lack of attention and defiance is only at school, then that is situation specific. Also, with a gifted kid, I don't think you could really determine ADHD in the school setting until they are placed in a learning environment that approaches their intellectual level, which she clearly has not been. I think teachers/schools are overly touchy about the word "bored". I don't know how many times I have read not to use that word in discussions with them. But really, if you don't want me to say your class bores my kid, then do something to fix it! Your daughter's behaviors scream BORED to me and I am sure to them too, they just don't seem to care for some reason.

    I am so sorry for you and for your dd, but you are doing the right thing. Someday she will look back on this miserable time and remember that her parents listened and stood up for her.

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    That sounds really difficult, 2giftgirls. I have to say, for me the biggest relief was when we made the decision and there was no more humming and harring. Good luck with the next part of the journey.


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    in this case, she was suspended because the other child was hurt.
    After talking briefly to his mother, who is a friend, I can see that the school also minimized or is completely unaware of what really happened. As usual, we are getting two different stories from the kids and no adult actually had eyes on them when it happened. I'm deeply saddened because the other child is also gifted and, while physical concerns are one thing, I know this oculdn't be good for his esteem and they are also in a similar situation rergarding school, except that he does well in classroom...the other mom and I have joked that if we could cut the two of them in half, and blend them, we'd have two "fine" kids.
    I don't think this teacher has a problem with my DD, but maybe I don't know how to read her? She does confuse me a little at times...and other parents, who have had that teacher and assured me that this would be THE teacher, are puzzled as to why she would change the system without telling me...
    For what it's worth, the school psychologist doesn't believe she has ADHD...and these incidents usually happen once or twice a year, she doesn't have a pattern of purposely hurting other kids, and she doesn't beat up on her sister at home, but this is not the first time that her judgement has been severly lacking. Usually some other kid provoked her by getting in her personal space, which the kids at our school seem to do, as a group. They are touchy feely, always jostling and touching each other and I know that bothers her a lot...
    I have been crying almost every day since the school year started and it's really hit home how different she is when school is in session. How do you hide from a perceptive child that even you are unhappy with the school, even if you don't talk about it...


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    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    I am hopeful that she thinks a different school is the answer and that she is not so soured on the experience that she is begging to be homeschooled yet...

    I have pulled a child out of school in the middle of the school year because "I just couldn't take it any more". I am glad we left, and don't regret it at all. That said, I do wish I had taken more time, much more time deciding where dc would be going to school NEXT.

    The suspension is actually a great thing to let you readjust your sights. You'll need to stop thinking about the "old school" (which is the hardest thing in the world once you've gotten to the point where you're mad and frustrated and mama bear is ready to pounce) and start focusing on the new plan.

    It sounds like you're working hard on getting the data you need so that you don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire.

    Last edited by herenow; 10/27/11 04:57 AM.
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    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    omg, that was horrific! am I reading this right?

    "Each person between the ages of 6 and 18 years not exempted under the provisions of this chapter or Chapter 3 (commencing with Section 48400) is subject to compulsory full-time education. Each person subject to compulsory full-time education and each person subject to compulsory continuation education not exempted under the provisions of Chapter 3 (commencing with Section 48400) shall attend the public full-time day school or continuation school or classes and for the full time designated as the length of the school day by the governing board of the school district in which the residency of either the parent or legal guardian is located and each parent, guardian, or other person having control or charge of the pupil shall send the pupil to the public full-time day school or continuation school or classes and for the full time designated as the length of the school day by the governing board of the school district in which the residence of either the parent or legal guardian is located."

    that sounds like I HAVE to educate my child for the same number of hours that they do at the regular school? So, nevermind if she could finish the required work in half the time?

    It looks like this law applies to anyone non-exempt, and the exemptions are contained in the sections they reference, so you should be able to look there to find the specifics on homeschooling, which should qualify as an exemption.

    What state are you looking at?

    Good on you for getting her out of there. It really sounds like a poisoned environment. Been there, done that. I think the nonsense about, "All our children benefit from GATE" shows how completely incompatible they are with your child.

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