Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Hothouse Spinoff

Personally, I don't think that working with your child is hot housing--especially when it's to get your child the tools to do something that he or she is yearning to do. I think that there are a lot of leapers who need support with some of the basics because they jump over that stage of learning following the bigger, more abstract concepts and thinking. One of the easiest places to see this is with young writers whose ability to express ideas and feelings in writing is well outside the norm, but who may have spelling and punctuation that no one would ever point to as proof of giftedness. A supportive teacher or parent provides opportunities for the child to soar with the expressive aspect of writing, while working on bulking up the spelling and punctuation.

To my thinking, leapers aren't always kids who absorb facts and never need any facilitation to learn anything. It seems to me that some leapers are the kids who swallow ideas whole and have difficulty motivating themselves to go back and fill in the details. I'm thinking that both kinds of kids need an instructional approach that minimizes in-class repetition and maximizes pace and depth.

I think part of the problem is that we are parenting these children in communities and schools that still operate under a lot of myths about giftedness. When schools still operate under the premise that "gaps" negate giftedness, we either need to work on filling in the gaps or resign ourselves to having our children starve in classrooms that have nothing to offer other than the filling in of a few gaps. As that is intolerable for our children, it becomes intolerable to us too.

Wise words Taminy. I actually don't think I hothouse my kids at all. But I think I have taken that to the extent of coleslawing them for fear of it being inappropriate to work on stuff because it wasn't AGE appropriate. Seriously I have done more work on using a fork than I have reading, but the reading is going better than for fork usage. Sigh.

And Annette - I absolute agree with the bit of your post that GM quoted.

this may seem a bit of an aside, but I wanted to add that my DD5 makes herself fairly hothouse proof because she sings, hums, wiggles, jumps, and blurts the whole time we try to do anything. Even math facts were sung in theatrical voices. Ah, it can get on my nerves and so I can only take so much LOL Anyone elses kid do anything like this?

My son has started to speak like a robot. It's really OTT when he uses his robot voice when he's also talking by sounding out each letter of a word.

Your observation reminded me of some species of plants in our area. For the first year, a newly planted variety must have it's nurturer water throughout the summer and fall. After the first year, they have established their tap root and can be left to water themselves for the most part.

To Twinkletoes: Yes

Also wrt gaps, I hear this a lot from our school. While sometimes they have a point my issue is that it really shouldn't take a year to fill in some of these gaps? Example, order of operations. Student hasn't ever really been exposed to exponents but knows basic order of operations. it shouldn't take weeks of teaching to explain an exponent, what it means and that it comes first after evaluating parentheticals? I'm thinking maybe a very short session, not weeks of practice, right? I'm constantly reminded by friends that my paradigm is off......

I'm smiling over the talk about flashcards. I hated them as a child and really hated when my mom "hothoused" me in forth grade when she was told by the teacher that I was doing my multiplication work at school by super-fast finger counting.

So, along comes DS. He's a mathy type who has loved numbers as long as I can recall. He would/still demand(s) counting at night instead of a story to relax.

I thought, "He will like flashcards!" Um, he does. Just not in the way tradition dictates they be used. His idea of flashcard use is to throw them around the room. Pick a few up and look at them and throw them down again. Maybe place all the 1 times cards in a row. Maybe place all the cards with an answer with "4's" in them in a row.

Is he learning? Yes. Just how he wants.

Yes. But I often set him up then go wash dishes and keep checking in.

Right. I spent some time thinking about this myself when DD was a toddler and seemed especially ripe for hothousing (although I know I could also hothouse her easily right now by plopping her in front of Khan Academy videos....man, that place is amazing). Why are some things okay to teach and others are not? I guess fork skills are a life skill whereas academics are more specialized, but...? And we did absolutely hothouse some physical skills with no fear that anyone would "think anything." But that was to get her up to age-appropriateness. I guess perhaps the assumption is that teaching can be painful and that one should not prolong the "pain" by moving the child past an age-appropriate level?? Thus far and no further? Is that it?

In any case, DD was already REALLY different as a toddler and I felt like I didn't want to accentuate it any more. I was accused of hothousing once, by a nurse, of all people (I forget what DD had done to merit this)--she said, in tones dripping with scorn, "Oh, I see you WORK with her a lot." It remains a vivid memory--probably too vivid.

Not sure how to take this one. Did you feel this way because the opinion was unsolicited? Hoping it is not a dig at the profession.