Another thing to try is "get behind your son's eyes" using the Brigg-Myers Type Indicator, such as
http://www.personalitypathways.com/type_inventory.html I think it's tough for families with more than one gifted kid to see the different kinds of giftedness. Of course you can't help comparing your son to your daugher, but as a parent of an "only child" I can't say enough how often I hear siblings compared to each other. Another possible resource is
http://www.sylviarimm.com/articles.htm She has a whole spread about gifted children connecting their appearances to how they feel on the inside that's very interesting.
Basically I think that a lot of each child's behavior is inborn, and a whole 'nother lot of it has to do with how well their daily school environment fits their needs.
Best Wishes
Trin
