The silly behaviour is things like pulling faces, sticking pencils in his ear, not listening when being told to stop and that goes on. Everything he does is at at least 110 miles per hour.
and...
My concern is also not being able to monitor him and talk him through instances, behavioural ups and downs. They want me to back off because they believe they know what they are doing and to a certain degree we as parents are part of the problem, but have readily admitted they have no idea as to the exact reason he is all of a sudden acting out as they put it and that they do not have the magical answer....They want me to trust them when they have admitted they have little understanding of what is going on.
I have a fair amount of experience with seven year old boys, and what you describe sounds pretty within the bounds of the typical range of behavior. If I were his teacher I would be thinking one of two things: either he is not sure of his place with his peers and is trying on some ways to get attention from them; or the way in which I was occupying him during class wasn't engaging him enough (I would be thinking about pace and process vs. just content--sometimes it's not the "what" of the instruction, it's the "how"). In either case, I would think it is a "problem" that can be addressed through minor tweaking of either social/work groups in class, or by adjusting instructional delivery. A question to ask would be when they are most often seeing these behavior. Large group listening time? Independent work time (if so, before, during or after his work is completed?).
In any case, asking a parent to decrease involvement in their own child's life is inappropriate. Many minor issues can be handled in the classroom without *additional* parent involvement (in which case school should just keep you informed of what they're trying and how it's going). That's appropriate, and it CAN be a problem when parents are micromanaging or rescuing their children from appropriate consequences. However, I don't get that impression from your posts. If you are coming into the classroom every day and that is having a negative impact, then that's one thing. Asking your child not to talk to you about his day? That's something else entirely and I can think of no legitimate reason for it. It kind of sounds like they are into the melodrama of blowing up a problem and being the "only ones" with the "expertise" to "save the day". Go with your gut. You're the parent and
your relationship with him will be lifelong.
