Mom0405,
First, I completely understand what you are going through. My younger son has a lot of these traits. One thing that we are working with is vision therapy. It turns out that he has trouble tracking things with his eyes. (Not convergence issues, he's 20/20 so he sees ok). He tends to get off-task because he is avoiding the amount of effort he has to do to actually track what is going on. All of his behaviors are ADHD-like, and could be a combination. I even talked to a behavior therapist, and he said that about 20% of the children who are diagnosed as ADHD that he's seen also have convergence problems, double vision, etc.
I know that boredom causes a lot of behaviors. I fight with that all the time. I also don't believe in spanking and believe in respect. this is why I'm always touting The Explosive Child book by Dr. Greene. His plan for behaviors that are inflexible deals with the idea that learning to work through these situations is a skill. Different children may not have learned the skills needed to work their way mentally through problematic situations. The plan he discusses is respectful of the child.
