SJ, sorry your answering post didn't get picked up earlier!
A note just to clarify: I have no official capacity connected with the forum or Davidson--I'm just another parent, who happens to have some specialized knowledge.
But I'm happy to offer what I can!
In terms of possible concern areas, given the family history of ADHD, it makes sense to keep an eye on that. Lower WMI and/or PSI do have some association with ADHD. You already have a recommendation for OT from the kindy teacher, who should have a good sense for the level and rate of progress appropriate to his age-peers.
The social piece is a little more complicated, since I can think off-hand of a few factors that might be contributing to the bit of challenge you are reporting there:
1. processing speed &
2. working memory. Regardless of eventual ADHD diagnosis, if his speed of response is relatively lower than other aspects of development, then he may be having trouble keeping up with the pace of social interactions, which includes cause and effect learning that children usually obtain from natural consequences. Impacts from processing speed also are consistent with being more successful in small groups than in large groups of peers, since it's easier to keep up. The same is true of working memory--if there are fewer children, there will be fewer moving parts to remember and attend to at any moment. That he holds it together in school but shows his stress at home suggests that he is working very hard using his higher-level thinking skills to compensate all day.
3. fine motor. Given how strong his reasoning and conceptual skills are, I would not be surprised if he is experiencing some frustration at school at the gap between what he can think in his mind or express in oral language (especially that) and what he can produce with a pencil (drawing or writing). If he does have fine-motor delays relative to his age-peers, he has the added layer that he probably is thinking well ahead of them, but sometimes producing behind them. I'm guessing that is partly what is spurring his teacher to recommend OT/handwriting interventions. She can hear the stories he tells, but doesn't see the same quality on his paper.
4. instructional mismatch. At the same time, he may also be experiencing emotional distress from schooling that is not sufficiently stimulating intellectually. Kindergarten is supposed to be fun and social, as well as laying the groundwork for academic success, and if he is working hard all day to meet behavioral and social expectations, but isn't getting some moment of relief in the form of academics that feel rewarding and like play to him, then it's not surprising that he feels like he needs to let off steam when he gets home from a hard day at work.
Consider how we would feel after a day working at an incompletely satisfying job, with people for whom we had to put constant effort to stay on good terms. And that's with a full complement of adult coping skills.
...and I should add some suggestions:
1. You are already pursuing OT, which should help with anything that is an outgrowth of handwriting delays. You might also talk to the OT (when you find one) about whether they are familiar with Zones of Regulation, which is a commonly-used intervention system for executive functions and self-regulation. (It could be used by professionals from a number of fields, but since it was designed by an OT, it's often something OTs are familiar with.) There might be some benefit for managing frustration and reducing meltdowns in peer social interactions or at home after a long day.
2. Social skills training. This might be quite informal, such as consisting of you narrating social situations as you work through them yourself in front of him, or with him, to make explicit some of the cause and effect sequences. Or you could consider looking for/requesting a small social skills group with peers, ideally at school, facilitated by a trained staff member (preferably a counselor, psychologist, speech therapist, or possibly an OT).
3. Check in with the teacher providing acceleration, as well as with your DC, to see if the nature and pace of accelerated content is both appropriate to his instructional level/zone of proximal development, and also appealing and energizing to him. If he enjoys small peer groups, perhaps there is some way to work in an occasional guest to his group, to recapture some of the social aspect of kindergarten learning. Of course, I know you are also considering a different school, so that might ultimately be a better long-term solution, depending on how well that school matches his need to learn.
Last edited by aeh; 12/06/21 06:12 PM.
