Originally Posted by HoosierMommy
The "equal outcomes" ideology is new to me so I'll have to look into that. And kind of scary, actually. I'm not sure if our district is operating that way but definitely something to examine.
You may wish to begin your search with the common core official website: corestandards.org. Unfortunately, the website contents have changed frequently, and may continue to do so. Statements in favor of equal outcomes can still be found. At present, there is a page titled "statements of support". One example is from the Council of the Great City Schools.
"Public education is supposed to promote a level playing field for our young people. Instead, the standards now in place do the opposite by institutionalizing uneven expectations and outcomes,"
Other references to equal outcomes may be found throughout the common core website and the websites of linked affiliates.

Originally Posted by HoosierMommy
The other teacher we've been in conversation with is the math curriculum leader for the district. He originally told us DD8 has a good conceptual understanding of 3rd grade math, then a month later told me DD needs to be re-evaluted on 3rd grade concepts to make sure she understands. What?!
When you receive information such as your DD having a good conceptual understanding of 3rd grade math, do you document this in a ring binder at home (date, person, context, etc)? Do you also document this information in an e-mail to the person, thank them for their time, ask about next steps, dates/timing, etc? Basic advocacy info and resources here.

Originally Posted by HoosierMommy
... the teacher keeps talking about going deeper into the material
Could you ask for specific examples of "going deeper" on the particular math concept being taught? It may be what is commonly called make-work, busy-work, spinning wheels, marching in place, treading water, etc... designed to create equal outcomes for all students in the class, rather than create growth and learning for each student.

Originally Posted by HoosierMommy
How exasperating!
Please set emotion aside and be an investigator, documenter, strategist, and advocate. The book From Emotions to Advocacy can be very helpful.