I'm sorry, Marcy - but your DS sounds so much like mine, I just about could have written your post!
Does the school system you are in have any G&T or advanced programming, even if for older kiddos? If so, when does it start? How do you get in? Knowing that our schools at least offered advanced programming in 3rd/4th grade kept us in our p.s. (versus the $$$$ private gifted school)...but it is hard to wait! Honestly, if such programming did not exist, we probably would have left our school system by now.
Also, I would network with parents of bright children in your area (especially the parents of older students) to try to find what schools and programs are working for their children. We have learned so much from other parents.
How your school will react to an advanced student is really a YMMV situation. A talented teacher can make for a good year, but IMO - if your school is leaving EVERYTHING to the teachers (no advanced programming), they may be setting the teacher and her advanced student up for failure. Expecting the teacher to differentiate, when she may have more than 20 students, may be extremely difficult, if not impossible.
We have not figured it all out yet, but we are doing our best, working year by year. Best of luck!
