Originally Posted by spaghetti
I don't know what I'd do, but I'd not let my child get negative messages about himself, and I'd defend him against those messages at every turn. So, when he is refusing school, I'd contact the teacher and not assume the reason, but ask her what's going on. Teachers may not care about academic fit, but they do care about emotional health at this age. Bring her in on solving the problem at hand. And you might just win her over. Or you will know it's a toxic situation and it will be clear you need to remove him.

I really needed to hear this today. Thanks for articulating how to approach this situation if it happens for my own DD again.