DS3 had his first appointment with an ophthalmologist yesterday. He has some sensory issues, two of which are photo sensitivity and a dislike of being handled by strangers (not unreasonable, if you ask me.) The ophthalmologist was a genuinely nice man, and his bedside manner likely would have been appropriate for a typical 3 year old. As you'll see below, he was unprepared for DS.

DS (upon meeting the ophthalmologist, extends hand for a shake): So you're the ophthalmologist, are you?

Doc attempts to begin examining DS without any discussion of the procedure or requesting permission to touch DS, against my advice. DS does best when consulted as a partner in the process. His pediatrician has learned to talk about her research with him, to good effect. The learning curve for this one was not so steep.

DS: You're shining a light in my eyes. Stop that please.

Doc (pulling out some Sesame Stree figurines in an attempt to elicit compliance and speaking in motherese): Ooooh, do you know who these guys aaaaare?

DS: I assume they're TV characters. We don't watch much TV.

Doc attempts to shine light again.

DS: (Covers eyes, becoming indignant) You're shining the light in my eyes again. Would you stop it please. I want to get down. I don't like this.

At this point, I stand between Doc and DS and chat calmly with DS about the procedure, explaining next steps. After a moment, DS is calm enough to do more light-free tests.

Doc attempts to pre-emptively buy DS' compliance to the light with stickers: Would you like a nice sticker of a robot?

DS: No, I would not.

Doc offers a few more.

DS: No thank you. I am not interested in your stickers.

Doc shows DS a sticker of a pteranodon: Would you like a dinosaur sticker? What noise does a dinosaur make?

DS: That is a pterosaur. No thank you.

Doc shines light under his fingertip to show the blood illuminated and whispers: Wooow! Look at the light.

DS (clearly unimpressed): Yes, you are seeing your red blood cells.

Doc pulls out a lens for DS: Look at my little window!

DS begins to place his fingers near his eyes and wiggle them. I know what is coming on DS' end...

Doc: Oh! That's a good idea! Let's play peek-a-boo with my window.

DS (clearly concerned that the doctor genuinely enjoys peek-a-boo for his own entertainment): I am a gargoyle, and I am trying to intimidate you.

At this point, I just go get a book to read to DS to keep his mind occupied while the visit concludes and don't allow the doctor to shine any more lights.

At the end of the visit, the doc inquired whether we had any behavioural diagnoses for DS, to which I replied, "No, he is a smart little boy who expects respect and consideration from medical professionals. That is a reasonable expectation. He was politely voicing his disagreement. That is something I not only accept, but encourage."

I think the doc was surprised that children need to be treated differently from potted plants, and that a parent might expect something other than blind obedience from a child.

What is to give light must endure burning.