I like the idea of some sort of play/social therapy.
Would you plan to tell the leader about your son's observed behavior toward younger children?
Since he is in this window of time where his behavior is still malleable, before that magic age of 8...I would like to bring in all the resources we can... I'm pretty sure the new doctor we got established with (since we moved) thinks he is full blown autistic. He didn't speak at all in the room to her, yelled and shouted over us while we talked...jumped from chair to chair like a lunatic and it made me break down crying...she is pushing for the psych eval but I know he is not usually like that!
One of the resources you could bring to bear may be the psych eval.
When the appointment was over he then started asking me tons of questions, conversing like a normal human and calmly walked out of the office like nothing had happened.
Some may say this suggests he is in control of his choices.
Would you recommend getting him a tablet or something to curb his excess mind energy? His excuse a lot of the time is that he was looking for something to do
Others may disagree, but no, I would not recommend a tablet as the way to resolve a 4-year-old's behavior issues.
he has a loving adult in his life (his teacher) who believes in him and he responds well to her. She treats him differently than possibly even I do, and he behaves for her. I am in disbelief, because all teachers before threw their hands up in the air and conference after conference were at a loss for what to do. But she GETS him...He even told me "mommy, I wish you could be more like Mrs. J"....this really hurt my feelings but at the same time it made me realize I need to strive to do the exact same as she is doing for consistency. He then countered that by saying "but mommy, don't tell her that I told you that..." ... she has no trouble with him whatsoever ... Any parenting tips here?
Have you asked this teacher for tips as to what she finds successful with your son? You mentioned that her sons, now 10 and well-behaved, exhibited similar behavior to your son's when they were 4. Have you asked her whether her twins simply outgrew their behavior without intervention, or what approaches were utilized?
hungry... blood sugar getting low
This
old post and this
SENG article may be of interest as they mention the acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) being possible triggers for negative behavior or tantrums. Other threads have discussed that diet can be an issue.
I do not want to defend him for the aggressive behavior... He is just soooo incredibly sensitive... I need that insanity to end...
These ideas from your posts plus any impacts of your recent family move, may be good to discuss with a professional.
Because you mentioned his aggressive behavior toward young children, and there is a young child in the home, you may wish to seek professional answers and approaches without delay.
