Congratulations to your son for representing his school in the regional events. What instrument(s) does he play?
Would anyone here talk to the school, if they were in my shoes as an advocating parent?
Possibly. This may depend on local norms, which may differ from elementary school to middle school. For example:
- Who nominated him to play in the regional orchestra this year (middle school)?
- Do the school announcements include congratulations to children who participate in other events?
- Do other activities at your son's middle school give participation certificates?
- Was the event a competition (were awards given there)?
- Does the middle school emphasize intrinsic reward (the personal pride of representing the school) or extrinsic reward (certificates, announcements, newsletter stories)?
- Does the middle school have an "awards day" where certificates may be given?
- Are particular extracurricular activities emphasized by the school (such as sports)?
After reflecting on the school norms, you may wish to write a brief positive newsy article including facts of each regional concert and a quote from your son about what an honor it was to represent the school, the fine caliber of other students, possibly sharing something he learned/gained from the experience, that he encourages more students to practice-practice-practice (etc). You may wish to thank the person who nominated your son and say you are sharing follow-up information and granting them permission to use any parts of what you wrote, for inclusion in the school newsletter and for announcements. Gauge how the conversation goes. See what may be done "next time"... does the nominator or school official need to hear from you immediately after the event to incorporate information into an announcement and/or newsletter article? Again, this is learning the norms of the school, how their processes work... so you can manage your son's expectations and also collaborate with the school to enhance the process, or make it work for him.
Does the local newspaper seek positive stories of local youth? You might also submit your brief newsy article to them.
From what he says, he seems to feel unvalued by the school, and that his achievement doesn’t matter to them. He is still sad. The concert was 2 months ago.
It's good when kids can articulate their feelings as your son has apparently done, rather than withdrawing or acting out. That said, you may wish to encourage him that middle school is different from elementary school, and talk about intrinsic reward (personal satisfaction for having participated in the regional events)?
