After meeting with the administrator we were informed that the school could not accommodate such a serious behavior risk in their classrooms. The teacher had noted two other dangerous behaviors during the course of the week and was proceeding with paperwork that would result in my daughter formally having services denied by the district.
I'm a little confused by this - I understand that the school is telling you your dd can't attend the school anymore due to behavior, but I don't understand what this means: "paperwork that would result in my daughter formally having services denied by the district." Has your dd been going through an IEP eligibility process?
Re. the behaviors you listed, I know that when they are listed by themselves with no other explanation and no list of previous behavioral issues, they sound silly and not like a reason to kick her out. But they are behaviors that have happened after previous behavioral issues - it's not just these two incidents that resulted in the action on the school's part. I also may sound like a total nutcase parent here, but there's a chance that the "handwashing" incident really *could* put another child at risk (for instance, if there is a child in the classroom with life-threatening food allergies). In any event, to be able to function in school a child does need to be able to take direction from a teacher and not just do whatever they feel like doing.
The administrator who chaired the meeting followed me out to my car and said, "I'm really sorry about this, but there's nothing we can do. I've observed your daughter, and I think that she'd honestly do much better with a different teacher
This is most likely the case - another teacher might be able to handle your dd's behavior in a much better way, but there are a lot of miles in between handling and understanding what's driving behaviors, and that's where I hope you'll continue with seeking the outside evaluation by a neuropsychologist. You'll need that eval for three reasons - to support you as you advocate with the school district, to help you understand how to go about advocating with the school district, and most importantly, to understand what's up and how to help your dd.
I am so sorry this is happening - your dd reminds me a lot of a friend of ours who is now in 4th grade. He's a high IQ kid who has had very similar behavior challenges. His mom has struggled quite a bit with school placement. FWIW, just providing him with peers in the classroom and academic challenge (he was placed in our district's HG program) didn't resolve the behavior challenges.
Meanwhile my daughter is at home full time and loving it.
I'm glad she's happy for now - and I hope you're able to find a solution that will work for your family longterm -
Best wishes,
polarbear
