She certainly is quite gifted and intense gifted kids can have trouble in preschool. Often it's a matter of finding the right situation.
Have you thought about a nanny rather than preschool to allow her to follow her own path for this last year before she enters compulsory school?
I think you really need to get to know your daughter and watch her social interactions with peers of all ages and if things are a bit off, have her evaluated by a specialist in both giftedness and child behavior. It sounds like her behavior is preventing her from succeeding in school and must be addressed so she can be happy and know how to deal with school. It also sounds like you don't totally trust the school system psychologist to assess her so you may want to go private with that. But, it does sound like she needs some sort of intervention.
I agree with MON on this, particularly the suggestion for seeking input from a specialist in child behavior. I especially think it's important that, whether or not you think the suggestion of Asperger's is completely ridiculous, that you have a specialist who is looking in from outside with no bias evaluate what is going on. The teachers are really in no position to guess at a diagnosis, but they are also (usually) experienced professionals who see a wide # of children and are most likely recognizing that *something* is going on that your dd could use help with. I think it's really easy for us as parents of gifted children to assume that behavior differences are due to high IQ and as a result of that miss out on help our children really do need. Please know I know this is really tough - I'm the parent of a 2e kiddo and that's where my perspective is coming from.
Best wishes,
polarbear
