Hello.
What was right about my parenting growing up in the 1960s? Being left alone & my parents remaining silent and neglectful. They didn't know what else to do with me and weren't interested in me as a person anyway. As a result, I read alot & spent alot of time alone contemplating and just doing my own thing. I wasn't forced into uncomfortable activities like some gifted kids are. Yikes. I'd have probably been mighty ill at ease with other moody and intense teens like myself. Being on my own, I searched for and found fun with more relaxed and easy-going teens that didn't think too much. I felt more love too being around them and their parents than I ever did in my soulless home and family.

I remember being tested at 13 in the 1960s. And was told I had a "Master's Degree level IQ", whatever that meant. And nothing was done about this test afterwards. That news felt like a big "So What" to me as a result. Good thing too. I didn't see the point. Still don't. Enjoying the freedom of "No Expectations" is preferred over the pressure of "High Hopes". I never heard anyone say "You are gifted." If anything, I was mostly described by my Dad as "Strange" and my Mom as "Difficult". Not very helpful or kind ways to be considered by parents.

It was in my 50's that I actually learned that I was "gifted" and that my scores were not at a Master's degree level. They were at least at a Ph.D. level or beyond.

Oh - did I mention who tested me? My Dad did. Before he died, my Dad made a confession to make. I was smarter than I knew, he said. He gave me the results of the tests to gave me. They were extremely enlightening and so were his actions in retrospect. He was an insecure, arrogant, upsetting know-it-all Ph.D public school psychologist. He was like this even on his deathbed. Dad kept my smarts hushhush and stifled. He had an appearance to maintain as the "Smarter One" in the family. He never encouraged me to attain a PhD. And he discouraged me from every career I embarked on. He never understood me or why I"d want to be an actress or a naturopath or a massage therapist. He took pride & solace in being the only one in the family that was "The Breadwinner". If I made money it threatened his position and he'd bitterly put my work down.

And Mom? Well, she was an ineffective parent & public school principal & a narcissist to boot- both felt threatened by my IQ's abilities - but with her, I received much more abuse. Instead of nurturance and unconditional love, I received neglect, jealousy and ruthless punishments. Mom literally kicked me out of my family home when I turned 18 with no place to go, and I was a good kid. Never any trouble with the law or drugs or boys or anything. Honest. I was just a misfit in my own family. I never felt that she even liked me.

Both parents didn't help provide any feelings that they understood me at all, or cared about or loved me as a individual. I could have been a piece of furniture. I was left on my own to be me - which may or may not be a good thing in the long run. Dad did provide a library at home and enouraged me to read (this meant he didn't have to do anything with me) and he provided music to listen to - if he liked listening to it. Mom was too self-absorbed and had sexual affairs with other men. The mood at home was stiflling & lacked love and empathy. I'd have rather had love over having a high IQ growing up.

But if I could have had both, how cool that would have been.