Thank you for resurrecting this thread! It has been an interesting read
I tested into the MGM program in 6th grade. I remember hearing that I was gifted but didn't believe it. I think I had already opted out by 6th grade, but I don't ever remember thinking I'm smarter than the other kids. I primarily remember I just wanted to fit in (which I didn't really). I liked to draw and read.
So when they said she is eligible for pull out classes in 6th grade (and I knew who the other kids were in the program, mostly kids like me who didn't fit in - and one child who was downright bullied for being very different- who then went on to become an astrophysicist!) I told my dad I didn't want to be in the program, which he honored. My father's parents had had extremely high expectations of him, and he had gone to MIT but he was definitely not going to push us. He flat out told us we had to go to school, but that grades didn't matter.
My mother on the other hand was very pro education- it was expected that we would get a college degree - in what didn't matter - and when I went to live with her in 10th grade (my parents were divorced) she promptly started paying me for grades. Since I didn't care about school, but I did care about $..this worked. As long as I got good grades, she pretty much left me alone about school. She did encourage me to grow, and gave me lots of freedom to do what I wanted.
Both parents always encouraged me to follow my interests, and took my brother and I to cultural events and museums, took us to restaurants and to festivals that expanded our understanding of other cultures. They also let us be weird
I remember when I was in 3rd grade I was obsessed by Japanese culture and someone had given me a kimono which I wore when we went to Japanese restaurants- my dad let me do this without batting an eye. He actually built me a Japanese dollhouse too for my Japanese dolls that I played with instead of Barbies.
When I was in High School I finally took a GATE class -it was in Mythology. Since I had been obsessed with mythology in elementary school I knew all the myths cold. After confirming I knew as much as they were going to teach in the class, the teacher knew I was an artist so while all the other kids listened to the lectures and did homework, I only had to take the tests and she would have me paint pictures the gods and goddesses to display in the classroom (while I was painting I listened to the lectures but I didn't have to do homework). I loved this as art was my favorite thing to do… but the other kids promptly ostracized me for being "teachers pet". I didn't take any more GATE classes. I have since heard from others that at that time the GATE program wasn't all that great and led to bullying by the other kids, so it was probably a good thing that my parents didn't force me to be in the program.
My mother understood how much I hated school and as both she and her mother had graduated high school at 16 she encouraged me to take the GED and get out. I took the GED at 16 and promptly enrolled at a local Junior College and that completely changed my feelings about school. Regular school felt like a jail, you never had a moment when you were left alone. Junior college you were expected to show up because you wanted to pass the class, and you were treated like an adult with adult responsibilities.
I read a book called Gifted Grownups last year which was enlightening for me, and I think they did pretty good considering. Both had significant anxiety, but they handled it. Both were actually pretty decent to each other considering they were divorced and polar opposites with regard to personality. They always encouraged us to do what we needed to do to be happy. Sometimes I wish I had gone into microbiology or some other science field but I have a job right now that allows me to do research on a wide variety of things. Since I am prone to information burnout (too much focus for too long a time on only one thing leads me to lose interest) I like that what I do allows me to have time to follow lots of different types of interests. However sometimes I feel like a Jack of All Trades, Master of None.
My parents felt that intelligence was great, but it didn't make you better than anyone else, and that the world was an amazing place filled with lots of interesting people on all walks of life. They also were more focused on the social aspects of life than the academics. They didn't try to get us to fit in, but they did want us to have friends and enjoy life. So not a lot of pushing, certain things were expected, but definitely no tiger parenting.
I am now trying to implement a lot of the things they did right with my kids.. however my kids are not like some of the kids described on these forums (and I don't think I was either) I didn't read or excel at math at an early age, although I was considered an advanced artist. My son is also an artist, and my daughter is amazing with crafts etc. So acceleration in school doesn't seem to be an issue - however they are at a high performing elementary in an area rife with doctors, lawyers, and other very smart people, so they are probably surrounded by pretty smart kids. I'm not sure what will happen in middle school.
