As I'm just starting on researching educational options for DS5 once we had a confirmation of G, I'm starting to see that there is such a wide range of what people are using for their child/ren. At the moment, DS's abilities are needing to catch up with the curriculum here so I'm not too concerned about his not being challenged. But I wonder if I'm just awaiting the day when we make a serious thought to switching schools if necessary, homeschooling, continue afterschooling, charters, magnet, IB, or other options. I'm already a bit unhappy about how little science he's gotten over the year, the K math that advances so slowly and is so repetitive, and our school's obsession with testing, scoring, and the drill method.

I'm curious, what ended up working best for your child at this time? What did you try that did not work out? If you don't mind sharing, when did you need to make a change (or multiple changes), and what general age or ability is your child? I have a feeling there have been a lot of changes with families throughout the educational system.

You've received great insight already from Portia.

In general, kiddos benefit from a stable, positive environment and having peers they can relate to with similar academic/intellectual ability, as well as one or more shared interests. Parents do not tend to change schools lightly.

Based on the information provided, rather than looking at schooling options you may wish to read up on advocacy for the day when having these skills may be useful.

Generally speaking, children with more rare intellectual profiles may be the significant outliers for whom many learning environments do not provide a good "fit" as there may not be exposure to new concepts and material for these students.

As mentioned on another thread, the Davidson database is a great repository of information.

While it's good for parents to be aware of the school's culture, many experts and experienced parents emphasize keeping the focus on the child's needs (rather than a parent's ability to imagine better circumstances).

A good resource for advocacy information is wrightslaw.com

Check the training program calendar and try to go to one if you can. It is actually a good value. Aside from getting a day of training from Pete Wright, you get three of his book as a part of the registration fee. I got From Emotions to Advocacy, All about IEPs and his Special Education Law textbook when I went to one last year.

I don't have a "what worked well" story, but I'll tell you my "what I wish I'd done" story.

If I could go back, I'd probably homeschool until 3rd grade when the gifted pull-out program started.

The kids I see who were homeschooled in the younger years just seem so confident and self-assured. It kind of makes me wonder if we don't put them in school too young.

Also, I think that K, 1st, and 2nd were the hardest grades in terms of accommodation because so much effort was put into the non-readers.

Funny because that is just what I did for my older son homeschooled 1-3 and part of 4. Worked great for him. He doesn't really learn faster, just is really serious and a deep thinker. 6-8th grade he has been in a special program that is a academy within a bigger school and that has worked for him.

What worked for my younger son was being a pretty easy going kid k-1st and having just the right 2nd grade teachers (he had two who team taught) and differentiated (not just lip service) reading/language arts and accelerated his math (just walked over to the third grade storage room and grabbed a text book, work book and test booklet and taught him third grade math during 2nd grade). His rate of learning is very fast and we did a grade skip after second grade. That worked for this year. Next year we are going to just try to survive 5th grade with differentiation and then homeschool 6-8th.

I have the same impression. I'm of the opinion that children should have much more freedom of movement and thought than conventional institutional settings allow.

Displaced, thanks for starting this thread. I, too, am eager to hear what arrangements others have found successful for their children.

I can't say that what we did worked well. But I can tell you brief synopsis of what we did.

-- Developmental preschool/daycare before K. This school let the kids play, explore, draw, paint, get dirty and play with each a other. They were aware that DS was reading at 3, and they were happy to leave him with books to read to himself, encouraged him to write his own stories while they other kids drew pictures. They did little to challenge him but was not bored. I didn't feel there was a huge reason to push him at this age.

-- K-3rd in the same public 'alternative' school his sister attended. I did look at 2 private schools, but the reason why we didn't go with either of them is a long post on it's own. His K, 1st and 3rd teacher were overall good. He didn't get a lot out of K academically, but it was only 1/2 day and I didn't worry he wasn't learning much IN school. The two kids who were high level readers were encouraged to use the scholastic AR program to challenge them. By 2nd & 3rd he was in classes with "gifted" clusters. He had many clashes with his 2nd grade teacher, partially because this teacher would only give him the advanced work when all the normal boring work was finished. My son had beautiful handwriting K-2nd, but it took him a long time to complete work and by 4th grade learned to sacrifice his handwriting for speed.

--4-6th Moved him to a different elementary (our local one) that had the dedicated gifted class. Part of the reason we kept him in the public system, because this program is known for being the best gifted program in the area. Same kids for 3 years, intellectual peers, teachers who are trained in gifted education. Math a year ahead, lots of reading, writing. And unfortunately a LOT of homework. 4th & 5th he had good teachers and he learned a lot, although there was a lot of homework. 6th grade was a disaster. Short answer for this was teacher incompatibility.

--7-8th Moved to the regular junior high. Had to push to get him into the humanities Honors programs because of problems in 6th, but since he tested gifted they were required to keep him in it. This was OK except for the boring science program. My son had an excellent Alegbra teacher in 7th grade. My son really only liked Math & Band in junior high.

- 9th High School.. Our high school is a high ranking academic school. Very rigorous, lots of AP's. He is in the honors track. Doing OK, not great. Has classes that are intellectually challenging but he underperforms.

If I could have done it differently, he would NOT have been in that 6th grade classroom. And even though he has been struggling with his Albegra II class this year, I wish I had pushed for more advanced math earlier.

What worked best for us so far was a public pre-K with an awesome teacher who differentiated for DD and let her use her abilities while still being a part of the group. DD may not have learned much (teacher once burst out in the car line with a joyous, "I actually taught your DD something today!"), but she was having a great time and making friends.

Coming in a close 2nd: homeschooling.

What's working okay for us now, but still needs work: Public school with G/T pull-outs for half the day, the rest of the day in homeroom with grade skip.

What failed: Same as above sans the grade skip.

What was a total disaster: Public K with one hour pull-out for enrichment per week, in class differentiation that either never materialized, or directly conflicted DD between her need for education and her need for socialization, and a teacher who was a hostile [fill in the blank with your favorite expletive].

We tried ps, which was adequate up to first grade, when we had topull him out to homeschool. That is going much much better and we are supplementing with actuall gifted classes on saturdays with a talent development program, which is very fun and satisfying.

What worked for my child:

Montessori (at home, since no preschool wanted to touch my child, with a ten foot pole)

eclectic homeschooling with WTM/Charlotte Mason-ey overtones,

radical acceleration (3-4y spread over six years) and virtual school.

I should also add that the longest we've ever had ANY solution fit WELL has been about 18 months. She outgrows the solution pretty fast.

Our strategy shifted at about 11yo, after six years of the above-- we need to make the "processing step" of primary and secondary education be as non-damaging as possible during the process of qualifying for higher educational opportunities via the appropriate "certification" steps (high school diploma, standardized testing, etc).

That seems to have been the most successful thing of all. It has meant admitting OPENLY that she isn't there to learn much-- just to meet line items on some form somewhere. That's fine, because it means that she understands that she isn't SUPPOSED to be (in our minds) getting a lot out of it-- just getting it done acceptably well, and not stressing out or spending much mental energy on it. If there are problems with that agenda (and there have been, such as the math or foreign language classes where the tasks were frankly impossible-- for anyone-- in light of zero teacher support or contact and not much curriculum either), then we put out fires along the way.

We've only had a couple of real stinker teachers. We avoid them-- even when it means skipping a class that she'd otherwise like to take. We've also dealt with a real stinker administrator, too-- and that was worse by far.

What worked for DS10 so far:

Local Public timeline:

pretty good -- second half of kindergarten with agemates, with differentiation in the classroom and pullouts with the GT teacher for compacted 2nd grade math. learned a lot about advocacy.

not so good -- first half of kindergarten when the teacher was "getting to know" our kid

pretty good -- skipping 1st. Second grade was better, reading program was at each kid's level (though I had a sneaky kid who would try to read under level)

bad -- DS was being taught the exact same 2nd grade curriculum that he had completed in a compacted time the previous spring, when he was in kindy. The school figured the skip would be good enough and wouldn't send DS to the 3rd grade class for math because of his "poor handwriting". Through much advocacy things got slowly better and he was able to test out of some units. Very stressful for parents. Learned a lot about how not to advocate...

Best -- Transfer mid-year second to out-of-district public school for Highly Gifted Kids

DS has really thrived here with peers. Most kids are a year older, but still a great fit. The teachers are amazing and don't emphasize weaknesses like handwriting. Really wonderful group of kids. Everything is accelerated at least a year, faster pace. Lots of friends. No advocacy required by parents. Good stuff.

The Unknown:

Switching to a new STEM charter for middle school next year (the program in DS's current district ends after 5th).


ETA: Preschool didn't work so well, except that the preschool teacher was quite wonderful and was the first to tell us that DS would need acceleration some day. DS didn't like the very part-time preschool one bit. We shouldn't have sent him the second year, because that sort of soured him on school. I'm thinking he will probably never be the type of kid who likes school. Maybe in college.

I agree Wright's stuff is very good but I'm not convinced its applicable here. His stuff is mostly focused on special ed/504s/IDEA/ADA etc... We used his books advocating for our gifted DS with an IEP coming out of ECSE.

Most states do not have gifted mandates. Even fewer states allow for gifted IEPs. Without that legal framework, Wright's strategies are less relevant. His advice one building consensus etc is helpful but the dynamics are completely different. The courts have been *very* clear that a " Free and Appropriate Public Education" does not entitle you to an optimal public education. Failure to accelerate or differentiate for gifted kids is not an actionable event.

Depending on the kid's level and unique needs, I think one might find out that one runs out of local school resources extremely quickly. For DS13, we wasted a lot of time trying to work things out at school (we had false hope). The teachers kept telling me that he did receive enrichment, but his impression was that even the enrichment was incredibly easy. By 4th grade I systematically taught him at home (afterschooling). By 6th grade, there was finally some formal acceleration at school but it was pretty useless. By 7th grade we completely gave up hope and used school simply as a social place.

Community resources could be great. We did find lots of opportunities at the local university. But most of the community resources outside of the university are also not geared toward GT kids, and we find our kids maxing out at most places pretty quickly. My DD9, for example, has nowhere to go anymore in the local community for some of her very strong pursuits.

Online school is great (Art of Problem Solving) for DS. Afterschooling remains the main learning approach for both kids.

I think the key is for the parents to prepare early (we really weren't prepared for DS which contributed to his misery at school for a few years), and use outside-of-school resources.

Instead of listing all the things we've tried, let me just share a few guidelines that I've learned going through the process (DD11 has been in four different "schools" in six years):

* Observe your child, they will tell you / show you what they need. If their words ("school is fine") don't match their emotions, trust their emotions -- and trust your own.

* Nothing works forever (or even for very long). HK's 18 month comment actually also applied pretty closely to our DD (kind of an intellectual Moore's Law?).

* The stress of change is a lesser evil than the stress of a bad educational mismatch. Don't let people scare you with how a school change will traumatize your child. Strive for continuity where you can (same out of school activities, keep in touch with friends, etc.) but make the change when necessary.

* Be creative and flexible, hunt down the lesser known educational options. Think outside the box. Let go of judgement (the 20K private may be a worse option than a free charter with a flexible teacher).

* People who get it will get it. People who won't just won't. Don't spend a lot of time and energy trying to convince people who just don't get it. Pick your battles and advocate where it counts most.

* If you let your child accelerate, be ready for them to do that. It will go fast and may seem scary. This board is a great place to get practical advice and commiseration.

I've had a win-loss-win experience with DD10. She attended a Waldorf preschool and kindergarten which worked really well for her. Despite the "wait until you're 7 to read" attitude, the teachers let my DD read as much as she liked. She loved the stories, woodwork, cooking, outside play and all the arts: knitting, sewing, etc. Unfortunately 1st-3rd was a disaster, also at the Waldorf charter school, because there was so little learning and her teacher (same for all 3 years) WOULD NOT offer any differentiation. DD began pulling into herself and saying she didn't want to be smart, so I found a great private gifted school and moved her during 3rd grade. She has been very happy and reinvigorated the past year. With hindsight I would have pulled her out of the Waldorf charter school in 1st grade.

. Evaluate every year.
. Pay attention to emotional triggers. (Is your high-IQ student gifted, highly gifted, Asperger's, high functioning autistic?) Depending on emotions of the child might give best indication. You probably want to review it with a PhD type that meets your approval.
. Always do what is the best for the child, i.e., what you call their best interest, if you can. There are always some limitations.
.Most important: If you are the gifted parent, trust every feeling / instinct you have, go with it and do not ignore that feeling / instinct. That is where the best answer that is right for your child, your family and you will be found.

I have found that gifted families are like gifted persons in that they have to be allowed to follow their own path. So, please do not worry about what everyone else is doing. You have to be very comfortable making your own choices.

We have found that what works for everyone else (mass majority of people in society) does not work in the same way for us or at least not at the same chronological age.

We have use parochial schools (yes, plural), cyber school, homeschool (our own program) and public school. So do not be concerned that you feel very unique that is why the GIEP is a gifted individualized education plan that changes yearly. Good Luck. Hope it helps.

I second this. I never felt comfortable while touring preschools. I had this knot in my stomach and felt that I couldn't leave DD there by herself. People thought that has everything to do with my own anxiety issues and had nothing to do with DD's best interest but when I actually found the right school for DD, I knew it instantly and so did DD. I count my lucky stars every time I drop her off. We LOVE everything about this little school. Of course, she just started and she only goes 2 times a week so things could change rapidly next year when she'd be going 5 mornings a week but she's already looking forward to it. I was a little paranoid at first that other parents might complaint that having a child like DD upsets the balance of the group but everyone has been very welcoming and supportive.

I'm learning to trust my own instinct as well as my DD's and I'm done 1) hiding DD's abilities and 2) making excuses for schools and teachers who do not get her.



DD's current school is eclectic but it leans heavily towards Walforf approach; it's nature-based, encourages open-ended play, and spends a lot of time dancing and singing but her teacher also has DD reading and doing research with children almost twice her age. I explain to people that its cover looks like Walforf but inside, it's more Montessori than Waldorf. It's a great fit right now but we'd definitely need to find something else after next school year. I just don't know what that'd be.

Just as it used to say on the back of financial prospectuses 'Past performance is no indication of future results' - you have continually monitor things.

Our travails so far...

Kindy - Neutral, we were clueless and basically left DD out to pasture but I did start to notice that relative to pre-school DD slid socially. DD was identified by a very loving and decent teacher as 'spirited' and suggested that we read the 'Spirited Child'. After reading it, it confirmed DD and I's hive mind and DW and I concluded that she had a 'Spirited Husband' LOL. DD learned to read and took off like a rocket. Library trips supplemented by museum visits helped DD to follow interests - Pirates, Astronomy, Egyptology, Dinosaurs, Human Biology etc.

1st - Good, teachers differentiated so DD got to make a Pressie (sp?) on why Pluto wasn't considered a bona fide planet anymore and won a 3 county essay competition. OE's intensified in inverse proportion to her social acceptance by age peer girls. Through conversations in the car with me as I drove her around, DD mastered arithmetic with whole numbers and vulgar fractions. We started the SG Maths as an after school activity. We started to realise that DD picked things up preternaturally fast.

2nd - bad (1st half) Bad, OE's started to intensify further and teacher would not differentiate. After schooling with SG Maths took DD through level 5 with apparent ease. DD sent to see guidance counsellor to help her with her extreme sensitivities and immaturity as the school saw it. Ended up getting DD tested which confirmed that she is quite bright.

2nd - better (2nd half) Better, took test results to school. Teacher did a complete 180 and started to understand why DD refused to do extra worksheets when finished way before others in class. Held off on SG math after school as I was getting freaked out (sometimes I think I made a mistake). Eventually got school to see that her perceived immaturity was actually OEs caused by asynchronous development relative to age peers. School after a bit of work agreed to skip 3rd grade largely due to her teachers' advocacy for her in addition to the Iowa Scales, DYS and our persistence.

4th (so far) OK, DD's teacher very supportive and DD's social acceptance increased. OEs all but disappeared. Clear that DD is still nowhere close to being in her ZPD but unwilling to disrupt the social progress she has made. Afterschooling with AoPS now. DD is now starting to verbalize the thoughts that she isn't learning a lot at school because AoPS has shown her what learning feels like. Starting to chafe at the harness of school (mental desert) followed by actual learning after school. Asking for summer classes now...

We accelerated DD a grade a few months after she started kindergarten which I think was a good choice. We should have just had her do early entrance to kindergarten. Since then she hasn't really complained about school being boring or too easy (although I'm sure a lot of it is, as her test scores are in the upper 90s percentile-wise). Since she's not really complaining or unhappy, I'm not really worried about it and haven't done much at home. Every once in a while she does programs like ixl or Khan Academy at home. She's going into a self-contained magnet for gifted next year for 4th grade which will probably be a challenge, esp. since she's 2e (ADHD). She is excited about it though.

DS has been more of a challenge in that the district has gotten very rigid (because of the obsession over state standards and test results) and won't let us accelerate even for math. The teacher insisted on giving him grade level math (first grade) even though he was already fluent in multiplication and division. We finally took him out of the school and put him in a different district school where the teacher is willing to differentiate. She doesn't make him sit through math lectures or do first grade math and gives him the right level. He just finished a unit on how to find the area in complex shapes. The teacher somehow finds time to work with him plus there are paras. She also divides the kids into reading groups and there is at least one other kid at or above his reading level. I'm not sure what will happen with him over the long term since there is no official plan, but we're going to have a meeting with the next teacher (whomever is assigned in the fall) along with current teacher. He has an IEP but nothing about gifted ed goes into IEPs here.

Thanks to all who have contributed to this topic so far. It has really helped me to think about what needs I may come across, as well as potential solutions and ways to address them. It's so nice to be able to see other perspectives, even if the solutions are all different.