Hi all,
I came across this forum while searching for advice on what to do for my son. He taught himself to read just after he turned three. He is reading at about a second grade level (really any of those "I Can Read books"). We are thrilled he is reading, but very worried about what to do about his education. He is starting a preschool where the "goals" for the year include learning to recognize your own name in print and learning the alphabet. Its too late for the year to change schools. But I am looking for help about 1) what I can do to make his teacher individualize her lessons to take him into account, and 2) how to choose a better school for him next year. I feel like I can't talk to any of my mom friends about this, so my usual resources are not useful. I am thinking that maybe finding a child psychologist would be a good place to start. We are in the Atlanta area. Thanks in advance!

Welcome!

The forum has many parents with a similar experience to yours. You are asking great questions, and will probably get a wide variety of answers as what works may be different for each family/child/school combination.

In general, play-based preschool is preferred to a preschool experience based on academics. Does the program which you selected for your child offer ample opportunities for play when your child demonstrates that he knows what is about to be taught?

For locating a child psychologist, many find the lists at Hoagies a good place to start: psychologists and professionals familiar with the gifted.

you are unlikely to find a preschool that will be academically challenging for him. I agree with the poster that suggested a play based program.

This is one of the only places on the internet where your experience is common, and the more I interact with parents of my daughter's age mates, the more i realize how different she is from them. And her difference is not celebrated, which is an additional challenge.

I would ask about the accommodations they can offer. Mine will "accelerate" her after she turns 3, as there are laws that dictates the ages that can interact in center based daycare. After three, she will be permitted to float around to different classrooms.

My son went into his three-year-old preschool class reading, but it was still a great experience. He learned social skills, especially what to do when another child "wrongs" him in any way. His preschool had lots of music, arts and crafts, a great playground, lots of hands-on-science experiences and sensory experiences that were all wonderfully beneficial for him. He gained confidence, independence and learned to try things that he saw other children attempt that he did not want to try at home with me (fine motor and sensory).

I personally wouldn't ask the school to meet his reading needs at age 3. I might however ask that they be watchful for any resistance on his part towards doing an activity that he's already mastered ("find the letter A") and be ready to brainstorm alternatives.

Even after healing, this can be painful years later... anytime one encounters or witnesses a similar situation.

Gifted kids need affirmation and validation, just as others do.

I also had a young reader who thrived in preschool. We went with play-based with teachers who were very very kind and always encouraging. The themed units worked very well and there was plenty to work on for writing and motor skills and role playing games.

We did not face difficulties with school until kinder, which was bad for the academics, but great for the role-playing units (store, restaurant, etc.)

Portia, we did not face the teacher subtly putting down DC until much later grades. I am sorry it happened to your child so early!

Be careful. When some adults learned my son could read so well out loud, he became a bit of a circus act. People would give him books and ask him to read them out loud. He would do it, but I found it embarrassing. I learned to shield my DS a bit from this experience.

Also realize that you can't really discuss this with friends and neighbors who might have kids near your child's age. (Unless you live in an affluent area where this is normal, perhaps.) They don't get it and will possibly label you as a crazy mom who forces your child to learn instead of "just play and be a kid" or they will be secretly jealous and not want to be as friendly anymore. I was naive and didn't realize how greatly some kids struggle with learning to read since my DS taught himself to read.

I have no advice about schools because I haven't found a solution to this problem yet. In preschool I just wanted DS to try to make some friends.

My daughter could also read at age three and now, at age five, reads 5th-6th grade level books easily. She never went to pre-school but I was very stressed about her starting Kindergarten because she's so hugely asynchronous. She's also very high energy and extroverted and I knew the moment she was bored she'd be talking to everybody or bouncing around. Which, part of that is just learning what's appropriate and when, but I felt like public kinder was going to set her up for failure. We did talk to the principal at the school but she didn't give us any reassurance about differentiating. We have enrolled her in a very small secular private school that does a custom education plan for every student. They also do not group by just age level, but by ability! So, we're hoping it will allow her to continually grow and have challenges (other than learning to sit still).

I was looking at going the route of going ahead and getting her tested, but when we found this school and decided to make that investment, I decided it wasn't really required at this point and time.

If you have a Facebook page, be sure to follow valuable pages like Hoagies, Gifted Homeschoolers (even if you don't homeschool) and other gifted pages. They share all sorts of great info and you may be able to connect with someone who can offer advice in your local area.

DD went to a multi-age outdoor program from age 3 to 4. It was great for the first 8 months then she needed more.

She now goes to a private GT school. I wish we had better as in cheaper and more inclusive options but we don't so I am really grateful that they took her.

It sounds like you might have signed a contract and you are locked in for the school year? Depending on the teacher, it still can be okay. I'm sure they'd be spending more time playing than working at their desk, or at least I hope so!

My S17 could also read at 3. We had him enrolled in a very good 'developmental' preschool. He really had no problems at this age. His preschool simply handed him books to read to himself & paper to write on. While the other kids were scribbling pictures, he was doing the same plus adding his own 'stories'. His school was mostly about outside time, playing with other kids, and had almost no formal 'school' time. Which is what I think preschool needs to be for ALL kids. It honestly worked out great.

It was Kindergarten that was another issue. But I don't have the time to go into that in detail.

Reading at 3 may be hyperlexia - or may not. Most kids who read at 3 will be at least MG - but not all gifted kids read early. I have 2 HG+ kids and neither did although ds9 could read a little at 4.5 and i really thought ds7 was going to at 3.5 but he changed focus.

bluemagic, I'm afraid things have changed quite a bit in the last decade, at least where we live. These days, if you come to kindergarten not knowing all the letters and reading simple books, you are considered "remedial" so most preschools teach reading and writing. Parents joke that preschool is the new first grade. It's certainly is the new kindergarten.

Not sure if I should post this here or start another thread, but I was hoping for different sort of advice. I taught my 3 yo the sounds of the letters a while back, and now she can decode simple phonetic words and read simple readers, but I have no idea where to start on all the non-phonetic stuff, like combinations of letters, combinations of vowels, or how the vowel sound changes with words that end in E, and all that stuff.

If anyone can recommend any resources, books, programs, etc., would be great!

I really liked the preschool prep videos. They teach blend digraphs you just mentioned. My son watched them a few times when he was four. And he seems to never need more than that to decode.

There are also books. Hooked on phonics, or Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Lessons etc. I never used them and cannot comment on them, but I have heard about them a lot.

I usually suggest All About Reading: http://www.allaboutlearningpress.com/all-about-reading/

The pre-reading level has a cute little zebra handpuppet, which you may purchase separately from the kit to use with higher levels. You can work through the curriculum at as quick or as leisurely a pace as you and your DC like, in small daily bursts.

Logic of English also presents all of the phonemes in a systematic sequence, but is, I think, more "school-y".

Lots of people have suggested ReadingEggs here.

Lexia (Rosetta Stone) is an adaptive program that teaches all phonics skills through the fifth grade level. Probably better for slightly older kids, who can sit through the exercises.

What I actually did with most of mine (except for the dyslexic-ish one, who also got All About Spelling) is sit with them, reading the words they didn't know aloud, and letting them insert the words they could decode. When we encountered words that seemed like they might be only a small stretch, I let them make an attempt on sounding out the straightforward parts, and filled in the other parts for them, accompanied by a one-line comment about the phoneme/grapheme connection. E.g. for "with", child reads /w/-/ih/, and I add "T-H, /th/", then cue blending /w/-/ih/-/th/--"with".

If you don't personally have a good grasp on the specific phoneme/grapheme combinations, you could still use this approach, but you might want to peruse a reference chart, like this one:
http://www.dyslexia-reading-well.com/support-files/the-44-phonemes-of-english.pdf

Thanks everyone. I also got some advice and recommendations for resources/programs from some primary school teachers I know. Between them and you, I have a lot of leads I'll start looking at all the links and suggestions and find something that feels right for us (and not too 'school-y'!).

English is complicated. My boys' school uses Jolly Phonics, which puts the "silent E" discussion at a later point than in the US, and starts with the common combos "ai" "ee" "igh" "oa" "ue". It's great for slightly older kids, because it immediately gives you tools to write any word phonetically.

Hooked on Phonics, which we got secondhand and only used for the reading books, does the basic alphabet, followed by blends (tr/bl/nd/lk and limited digraphs ch/sh/th), and saves long vowels for very late in the program, which means that it takes a long time to get to real books.

My favorite resource for moving kids from simple, short vowels to real books is Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. All about Reading is also going to do the same, as is Logic of English, but Teach Your Child is by far the cheapest and simplest. I also can't say how quickly AAR or LoE get your child to real books. TYCTR took both boys about six months to finish, including breaks and pacing, and they went from simple sound-outs to reading Elephant and Piggie books and other easy readers. After that, they just read books to improve decoding skills and vocabulary. TYCTR seems to be a love-it or hate-it program, but I think it's a great method.

Of course, reading out loud could get you there as well. Kids pick up patterns and learn words as you point them. My older boy learned to read in his weaker language solely from being read to; he had no instruction in phonemes in this language.