So we are finally having dd8 tested with a reputable and very expensive psych from the Hoagies list. I have been contemplating it for 5 years. But...dd has appeared less gifted than I previously thought, and I doubt her teachers would think spending the time and $ is warranted. If I don't do it I will always wonder if we are missing something. But it is really a huge amount of money--and I just realized an additional $800 for the report? WTH! I am sure this is in line but ugh. We only spent $500 total for older dd. I am familiar with what giftedness looks like, older dd is HG (not bio sister to younger dd) and had a successful skip. I will feel really stupid if we spend a ton of money and find out a FSIQ of 120, no LDs, and it was completely unenlightening. Someone help me feel better, please.

You will feel better because you will have an answer, so yes, it is a good idea.

I am relatively new to all of this but I would have never imagined one of my DD as being PG. It was because of behaviour issues in the classroom that we had her tested. We have paid out of pocket and it is a lot of money but knowing for sure will help you ensure that she is getting her needs met (if there is any question of such).

It makes sense to spend the money -- but the costs you mention do seem very high (we spent less than 800 for testing including a full report). I know it varies by geography, though. Are there any other testing options?

I agree with JonLaw. You've had questions and concerns for five years. If you find out that your DD is twice exceptional then can get to work on remediation. If not, you can stop worrying about it.

We only had one of our three kids formally tested. For us, the key question was if the testing showed what we suspected, would we do anything different. For us, the testing did show that our kid is twice exceptional.

It does sound expensive, but it is a one time thing and if the Psychologist got a good "clean" test it should be a one time expense.

I had a lot of second thoughts about testing our DS when he was in his 3s (am I wasting my money? Of course he's not gifted - he seems so average etc). The money I spent on testing was some of the best money I have ever spent. I am so glad we did it - the information we got helped us so much.

Thank you all so much for the feedback. I think it is clear it is the right thing to do whatever the results. I appreciate you sharing your experiences!

I'll share from the other side--I have two free testing reports from the district that got us what we "needed" (gifted programming) but are laughably short and lack detail. I always am amazed by what others here have and know. I literally have one page, and I never spoke to either psychologist in person. Again, I have what I need and I don't think they're really far off the mark, but jeez, it's a bit sad. (One of my kids may be 2E, but not in a way you would really see on an IQ test)

Is the testing just for giftedness or also a possible disability? I was told that getting an educational eval can cost $4k or more.

DD's WISC IV cost $300 and that included the report, and a few recommedations for the school to manage her ADHD (but no actual ADHD testing).

So I had the parent mtg. today and she was incredibly thorough. My other dd is the kind of kid who tried her best even just meeting the psych immediately before testing--with this one I think it is worth the money so I will have more faith in the results to have dd meet her tomorrow before testing on Thursday so that she is more comfortable. And, she has lots of experience with gifted kids and 2e (the one I am wondering about is ADHD, although...who knows--she is a puzzle). Whatever happens I think I will have a lot of information about dd's strengths and weaknesses.

I don't have any professional advice for you. But here is a data point that might give you some comfort:

DS was atypical from Day 1. Intense, curious, etc. All good, except when it wasn't. Preschool teacher said "Aspergers." So we got ann assessment for that. No. But the WPPSI said - "very high IQ." The psychologist recommended we re-test with WISC once DS was 6. In the interim, we got several piecemeal tests from qualified, sincere experts that were totally useless for understanding my son's struggles.

When he was 6.5, we bit the bullet, and did testing with a nationally recognized expert on PG/2e. You can read my early posts on the hand-wringing and second-guessing I did during this process. It ended up taking nearly 3 months, and more than 10 return visits. And each visit required a 90-mile round trip drive. I've never had the courage to add up the total cost. I know it was in excess of anything I've seen here. The time and the cost were both astronomical.

And totally worth it. We finally had a full picture of all that my son was struggling with, and all the amazing strengths underlying his struggles.

To be honest, we've never shared the report and recommendations with the school. But that thing is worth it's weight in gold. It gives me backbone and confidence I never would have had without it. It gave me great insights, great ideas, great suggestions for supports for my son.

It's all still a work in progress. But I now know (a) I wasn't crazy. This really is hard for DS, and for us, his parents; (b) He has amazing abilities, and I know how to support them now; (c) he has some real struggles, and I know how to be more patient about it, and help him past them. And help his teachers with them; and (d) did I mention how much it means to know I'm not crazy? Not a crappy Mom? That his Dad and me AND HIM are all dealing with doe seriously out of the box stuff here?

It was long and expensive and the best thing we ever did. Hope it's the same for you - though less expensive

Best,
Sue

If you can afford it do it. Don't use the rent or food money but anything else is OK.

Finally had DS tested last summer at 15. Wished I had done it earlier. So no I don't think your wasting your money.

Wow Sue thank you for sharing. I am glad you were able to understand and support your child better due to testing. That is my goal. I don't think dd is that complex...but you are for sure helping me see the value in finally biting the bullet!

This....times a million. I always knew my DS was a bit out there in a few ways but testing helped highlight his strengths and differences and realize just how far out there he is. It also added to our confidence in advocacy. Best of luck!

So dd met the psych today and spent 1 1/2 hours playing with Legos and drawing pictures. I tried to eavesdrop but the stupid white noise machine made it impossible. Testing is tomorrow. I am thinking I am crazy and should probably be spending the money on a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in adoption/loss related issues. I need to be the one on the couch. Almost started crying yesterday during parent intake because it has been really hard, ya'll. with this kid, emotionally intense HG older dd, and DS with developmental disabilities. Anyway, wish us luck tomorrow that dd will be cooperative. At least we will get some questions answered and it should shed some light on which direction to proceed.

Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way.

Thank you!

I hated those white noise machines....

Warm thoughts are with you deacongirl. She'll do her best! Let us know how it goes.

Sue

She forgot to turn on the white noise machine!

Good luck with all the testing deacongirl from another adoptive parent!! Thank goodness for good therapists!!!

Try to relax and be patient (harder than it sounds!). Even if your DD doesn't test at a gifted level, you will have a good sense of her abilities and any gaps... which will help with direction going forward!

So I think she must have done well with letter number sequencing because it seemed to go on for awhile and I'm pretty sure psych just said "oh my God" when she completed one.

So I really don't know. I would say it took about 2 1/2 hours. (not counting breaks). I mean, I would say for sure that her FSIQ is somewhere over 120 but even though I could overhear a lot of what was happening I don't have a feeling for what what I was hearing meant. Psych says that she has 3 reports to write before ours and so we prob. won't hear for a couple of weeks and gave zero indication of how it went. I couldn't help myself and sent an e-mail asking for some tidbit of info. After writing the check I really just want to know if we will get any useful, actionable info. I mean...I'm sure we will learn something useful. Now to wait. But I will no longer be bothering this forum asking if I should have her tested or not, so that is a positive!

We are all here to be bothered. Let us know how it turns out!

What she said ^^^^

We don't mind being bothered.

Deacongirl, we miss you when you are not here....use us as needed.

Thanks for the kind words. I am a little annoyed with psych because after previously responding quickly to e-mails she has not yet responded to my request for some indication of how the testing went. I think I may have under emphasized how difficult it has felt at times and that I have been asking this question for 5 years and just want to know, like, "yes, you were on the right track to bring her to me or no, you need to look to some other explanation than giftedness." I get that the results might be complex or there might be scatter or whatever but tell me something lady! Thanks for letting me vent here.

I know it is so hard to wait and wish that the psychologist had given you some hints... but I suspect it is typical that she wouldn't until she's had some time to look everything over and reflect on the results. She may be uncomfortable answering you until she's done so.

Hi again deacongirl,

I totally understand your frustration. Been there, for sure. You should let it all hang out here, because we understand.

If it helps with the waiting, remind yourself that you went to her for a comprehensive assessment. You've had the snapshots and quick answers, and they didn't help. Now - hopefully soon - you're getting the WHOLE picture that you need.

And I'll bet just about any amount that she knows, she knows, she knows. You are really tied up in knots waiting, needing answers, and she knows. I'll bet she's trying hard to get you those WHOLE answers as quickly as she can.

Nevertheless - grrrrrrrrr for the wait, right? We're here to help you count the minutes.

Sue
P.S. I saw what you said about the feeling teary at the parent conference. Me, too. And I couldn't hold it back, actually. Our neuropsych said that it's not unusual for parents in our shoes. We've been trying so hard, for so long, and are feeling so alone in our struggles. One more time - you are not alone. You have us.

When DD was evaluated she brought me into the room immediately after and showed me the scores. She even showed me certain parts of the test book so that i'd understand certain tests like "matrix reasoning". (she didn't show me enough for me to memorize questions or anything). I started copying some numbers and she told me she'd just make a photocopy. So I knew immediately what her FSIQ and GAI were. The report, of course, had more specific information. I got that in the mail a few days later. That would drive me nuts, having no feedback at all.


Took her in for more testing recently (to a neuropsych) and he brought me into his office and didn't have specific scores but said that he saw certain issues with her...such as information processing concerns...so again, I had some immediate feedback.

Do you get to go in and discuss the findings, or does she just send the report and you are done, or ???? For the amount of money you are spending, I would hope you would get to have a face to face conversation.

Hang in there.

Sue I think this is accurate and helpful. Thank you!

Yes, I agree, and yes, there is a feedback session. I am sure that the report and feedback will be very thorough...and the dr. did have another appt. immediately after dd, (I think it took the outside amount of time she had estimated...dd took frequent bathroom breaks). But the times older dd was tested they gave me a pretty good idea right away. Maybe dd8 is just complicated or maybe that is just her policy in general. But thanks to all for commiserating with me. Patience is a virtue, right?

Having been through this myself quite recently, it is very difficult to wait. Meanwhile, you get to enjoy a nice roller coaster ride of emotions within. I found it very difficult to sleep between the time he took the test and the in-person meeting (I think we had to wait about 5 days for the results to come back).

If it makes you feel any better, DS6 took quite a long time on his assessment. We thought it might have been because he was having difficulty, but it ended up being because he kept answering the questions correctly so they would keep going on the subtests. So a long test can be a very good thing.

Thanks George,
Yes, it is difficult to wait! I just made my dad listen to me vent. He wasn't very sympathetic--he was like you have waited 6 years to get this question answered. What is another 2 weeks? The psych did say that she would keep asking questions beyond the point at which they normally stop because sometimes a gifted kid will get 3 wrong and then get the next 10 right. So. I don't know! Trying to be patient is hard.

It is hard to wait! We didn't get scores right away, either. FWIW, though, it was worth the wait! At least, you'll have some direction and hopefully some answers to the questions you have. We understand - vent away!

We are still waiting. Three months later.

I feel your pain.

Mana why on earth is anyone making you wait three months? That is just outrageous.

Sorry I didn't elaborate.

We didn't go through a private tester. DD was assessed in January by two private schools. Application fees reflected the time it took their school psychologist to test all the applicants individually.

I think we may have to wait until June to find out her scores.

I didn't know we had to wait this long. This was not a good idea.

Wow. I am so sorry--that would be really difficult. I hope that it turns out that one or both of the schools will be a good fit and meet her needs.

Heard back from pscyh: "I am afraid that my answer will be disappointing to you, but without scoring dd's test I am not able to tell you how she did. I hope that the wait and suspense will not be too unpleasant.

I hope to have the report ready soon.

Thank you for your understanding." Sigh. I still think she could tell me something. Well, at least it is down to 10 days.

I feel your pain, as so many of us do.

When DS took the WISC, the psych scored it while we waited and gave us the basic rundown before we left.

In contrast, when DD did a full psycho-education assessment with the same psych, we got nary a hint and had to wait a month for the meeting (summer vacation, argh) to go through the results. She really wasn't comfortable saying a word until she had scored everything, and pulled it all together with report cards, notes, teacher/ parent questionnaires, etc, etc. It was insanely frustrating, but the psych was trying to do her best for us, and didn't want to say anything until she was confident what she was saying was accurate, meaningful and helpful. Which it ultimately was.

Which didn't make it an iota less frustrating to wait! Vent away.

Waiting really is really hard but at least you will have your answers in 10 days.

I am trying to view this experience as a character building exercise.

I got an oral report the evening of testing and the final report emailed the following morning.

I feel your pain waiting but the more complicated the tests the longer the wait.

Michelle I think all of this is absolutely true. It is nice to be reminded that it will be meaningful and helpful!

One more week!

We're all waiting with you to find out how it turned out. Make sure you fill us in!

Two more days deacongirl! Counting the hours with you.

Sue

Thanks Sue! I appreciate the solidarity!

Best of luck with the report!

It's almost over. I don't know if I was this nervous about my DD's testing. Sending positive and happy thoughts your way.

You all are too kind! Thank you for thinking of us! So regardless of specifics we are about to get some answers that hopefully will help us better parent dd and help get the right fit at school. You know this will be the first place I come after the appt. today.

Hoping the best for you.

I just read this point after my 8yr DS was tested earlier this week. I cannot imagine the longing for scores. We were lucky and got our scores immediately. Good luck today!

Huh. So, interesting (to me!) results. Bright, not gifted. Significant strength (99% on one subtest) PSI. So not a lot to advocate for at school, but still useful. Possible issues with regulation and attention that we will explore further. And, I know it is good news that she should be able to learn new material with relative ease but not without effort in the regular classroom. I will start a new thread later. Still digesting! Thanks for hanging in there with me!

so pleased you're starting to get answers. I think regardless of whether you decided the "number" is ultimately an accurate judge or not, the information in the report will be such a help in finding ways to help.