We are in a waiting mode to find out if DD9 will be grade accelerated into 5th. Meanwhile, we have a dismissive teacher who I struggle with so my judgment about her isn't the best. Even the psych. finds her off-putting, BTW. I need advice on the following situation.
DD finally received a 504 for accommodations for her ADHD, (inattentive type). One of the accommodations was the use of graphic organizers. The school wasn't moving on providing them so I pulled some things together yesterday for the teacher. I also asked this teacher if DD could do some writing using the organizers during her free time (DD has LOTS of free time in this class and produces large amounts of drawings, sigh).The psychologist and I have been pushing for enrichment in the class so we figured this would be a great idea.DD could write about the books they are working on or other class topics. This was the response from the teacher:
"I would like DD to come to me and let me know what she would like to do and how she would like to present it."

Several thoughts come to my mind. The psychologist emailed the teacher weeks ago asking her to provide challenging work for DD, and the teacher ignored her. Now we have asked again for enrichment opportunities, and the teacher has agreed to allow DD to work on something other than boring worksheets. Do I come up with ideas for her that relate to the books she is reading in school? Where? Do other parents create work for their kids? This teacher has not given DD any challenging work so far. This could be an opportunity for some fun. DD loves to write and do research. How do I (and am I the one who should do it?)work this out? As an aside, when we first approached the teacher long ago about DD's need for challenge, she told DD to come up with projects. The psych. didn't like that much and told us that that was the teacher's responsibility. I don't know what to think.

I don't think it is a 9 year olds job to organise her education but many people disagree. Maybe you and she could come up with a couple of things together and practise how she could present them.

Apparently the teacher thinks it is her job to provide grade level instruction, period. Not infrequent, I'd think. Personally, I'd just suck it up for the time being, brainstorm with your kids about projects and write it down for the teacher to just read and okay it, just so you don't overtax her obviously limited mental resources (trying to put this nicely).

Definitely the teacher's job but, given her lackluster initiative, I would take the bull by the horns and design enrichment activities myself to ensure DD is given appropriate work. Sometimes laziness and inertia can be used to your advantage because you are effectively being given permission by the person in charge to steamroll her.

Seems odd to me, like she either is trying to get your DD to speak up for herself or perhaps is being difficult with you. Sounds like the classic "gifted kids come up with their own projects" thinking.

If your daughter is excited about the projects you come up with, I suppose she can just share them with the teacher as if they were her own ideas.

Totally agree with the advice above - there's what *should" be, and then there's reality as we have it. It's important to keep striving for better in the long run, but don't let that get in the way of getting your DD what she needs now.

And just to put a little different perspective on it, having permission to create your own differentiated activities which can be done during class class time is in itself a major gain (unlikely as that may seem). For ourselves, even our best teachers have not been willing to use parent-provided materials in the classroom. If we want acceleration or enrichment, it has to come out of the kids' free time, on top of the 35 hours they already spend in school - ugh.

So the bad news is you're doing it all yourself. The good news is, your DD can take on some fun and challenging activities during the day when she's most awake and receptive, and that can help maintain a positive view of school as a place to learn and be challenged. There's my "half full" thought for the day!

This sounds similar to our situation. There is a lot of drawing and reading done in the spare time instead of learning.

Another thing that might be happening is that the teacher may think that you are being pushy with your DD (you and I know you aren't and that you are just trying to provide adequate challenge for her) and wants to see if your DD will ask for the same thing.

I also agree it is not a child's responsibility to do this. I also get the same indifferent additude from this year's teachers. It makes me really appreciate the other teachers who cared more and were not offput by an involved parent.

A few child self-advocacy resources from the Davidson Database may be of interest. This article contains many tips and links to resources. Two which may provide a quick starting point and be especially helpful:
1) youtube - Davidson Discussions Episode 2: Self Advocacy
2) handout from Montana Association of Gifted and Talented - Self-Advocacy; The Power of Speaking Up!

One strategy here would be to play dumb:

"Wow, I must be having one of those days, because the first time I read your response, I thought you were asking a 9yo child to plan her own education, LOL. Can you please clarify? I would be happy to brainstorm with you, if that's what you mean, since I have valuable insights into DD's interests and personality. Really, anything that allows her to learn something more than how to fill pages with drawings would be a huge improvement, thanks."

All communicated via email, of course, so that there's always a record of what was said, which can go up the chain of command if necessary.

That is tough, but I completely understand what you are going through. Is there any G&T or advanced programming going on at the moment - anything? We've had really poor experience with "in class enrichment/differentiation" I'm sorry to say - 9 times out of 10 it sounds great, but it simply doesn't work or flat out doesn't happen.

DD9 was in this position with a teacher this year (but the teacher was much nicer about it), and she ended up having a tough time with it when it actually came time to speak with the teacher. She is still 9, after all, and I think she had a hard time being as frank with the teacher as she was at home with me. I don't think she told the teacher what she told me. Still, I think the teacher wants to hear it from the student (yes, I think they sometimes just think it is the parent, which is frustrating, because I have the same thing going on with my shy DS6, and there is NO WAY he would tell the teacher what he has been telling me!!!). It is hard to speak up, even for a very outgoing, typically outspoken 9-year-old. My DD likes the teacher and this makes it even more difficult - liking the teacher and being challenged/learning something new are two totally different things. (Sigh).

The teacher is obligated to teach the grade level standards. I suspect it's likely that the teacher's contract doesn't state anything about enrichment, devising her own curriculum to fit each individual needs, or anything along those lines.

Did the school psych really just say she needed "challenging work"?

I *always* take the perspective, whether true or not, that teachers always want the best for the kids in the class, and is working hard to meet every child's needs. But because my kids' needs are so far different than any other child's, it's asking a lot for significant, regular, meaningful planning be done for my child. I express this sympathy to the teacher. I then repeat this statement to the principal, school psych, gifted teacher, asking that the classroom teacher be provided with the materials and time to provide my kid with appropriately differentiated *instruction* AND *curriculum.*

The natural end with this sequence of advocacy for my kids has almost always been another acceleration.

Does the teacher think you're pushing your child too hard? Perhaps she's asking for ideas from your DD as a way to prove the desire for enrichment is coming from you and not your child?

If I was in this situation, I would do as suggested above and compile a list of topics WITH my child. After submitting the list for approval, I'd send in materials for these independent studies. It's not fair & it's not your job. It's definitely the teacher's job... BUT the teacher has already made it clear that she is not interested in providing enrichment. Even if she does finally give in, do you think she'll plan QUALITY enrichment? This might be the only way to salvage the next semester for your DD.

I'm actually a little surprised at the opposition to letting your daughter plan and present a project on her own? Why not? Children are a lot more capable than they are given credit for. The teacher's position seems reasonable. She said 'YES'. This looks to me like a victory. If your daughter is truly afraid of her teacher, that is another issue. If she doesn't know what to say, have her rehearse it with you. Take the opportunity for what it is and let your daughter show what she can do.

Just sent the sweetest email ever to this teacher!! I gushed about how thrilled I was that she would allow DD9 to do some extra projects. I informed her that DD and I would create a list of topics and once she (the teacher) approved of one, I would provide any necessary materials.
Ugh!!! having to pretend is so hard. And I know that she doesn't want to be bothered by my husband and I (even said once that she didn't have time to meet with us because she is just too busy). She's only responding to me because the district AG specialist and our private psych. are breathing down her neck. BUT, as everyone suggested, I will pounce on this opportunity.

Dude - I actually used a bit of this - not quite as snarky though !!! I cc'd the principal, the DH, and our psych. as I do with all the emails now. The teacher didn't reply to an earlier letter from our psychologist which asked that the teacher provide enrichment, but she sure did act when the principal got involved (well, she became a bit more involved!!).

Yes - we do have AIG for LA and math, just 45 minutes each per week. She also is SSA math. Outside of school she does pre algebra at a after school type school (isn't that so unfair that so many kids have to go to school AFTER school!!).

As I stated above, I did email the teacher that we would come up with a list for her to choose from. So, besides saying to DD - "Go forth and research!!" (which, for a 9 year old, she's actually pretty good at researching), where do I get these "materials for independent study"? I have found all kinds of fun projects online, but they weren't what I would consider writing assignment items (and that is what DD needs to work on - writing).
As for pushing too hard - I really don't know what the teacher thinks because she doesn't want to talk with us. It's all email conversations. Totally different than the last 2 teachers!! We were always chatty! I'm not used to such a dismissive person!!

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