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Joined: Mar 2008
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h
Last edited by master of none; 12/25/13 10:39 AM.
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Joined: Mar 2007
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lol, Master of None I despise confrontation and until some really awfull things happened at school for my son, I avoided meetings with the school. Now, while I still hate confrontation, I am proactive in trying to head off problems before they reach critical mass. I think you should have the meeting with the school and perhaps present your thoughts in a this is what we experienced last year. These are things we would like to see happen this year. How can we work together to make this happen. Make a list of the concerns you have from last year as well as a wish list of things you would like to see for the next term. Try to prioritize them and make the top items your biggest concerns. Talking about the emotional impact of your concerns on your child sometimes works better than a whole lot of empirical data (although the data helps too). If you have private test results have them with you. If possible see if the Psych will attend the meeting with you as well. Personally, I've had decent results using the let's work together approach before the problems get out of hand than trying to get academic changes when the school only sees behavior issues. Good luck and keep us posted
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I would not stress IQ scores too much, but would emphasize strong achievement test scores, especially individual tests or above level tests.
Bring examples of self initiated projects that your children do in addition to (or instead of) assigned class work!
Now is a great time (k-4th) for a grade skip! We wish we had been offered one more for our son when he was still young.
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Also keeping in mind that the teacher's/school's goals are not the same as yours can be helpful in thinking about how to frame things.
They are worried about kids performance in general, test scores, workload, classroom management, etc. You are worried about one child. Sometimes those two sets of priorities line up, but not always.
Anything you can do to present your issues and ideas in a way that supports the school's/teacher's list of priorities, rather than as asking for special treatment that will detract from their reaching their goals, the more likely you are to get the help your child needs.
Kriston
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IMHO, meetings can be good. It lets you know where the school is, and it should be a place to voice your concerns. We have tried to have concreat things we wanted, advanced math is an example. We have also brought in proof of where DS5 was at before we asked for what we wanted. We als worked in colaboration with the school, it was a team effort which included us working with him at home. Teaching them to teach themselves is one of the best ways to develop life long learners. Also indulging their passions and letting them explore them to the depth they want, also helps. We expose DS5 to things and go into more deph as needed. We cast a wide net and then go deep when needed. Im rambling, before you go decide what you want, ask for it, and try to back it up with why you want it, and try to show what they are doing. It's all a process, not a final goal.
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Agree with everything above. I guess one way to look at is this: If your children were BEHIND to the extent that they are AHEAD, would you be scheduling a meeting? Actually, probably not, the school would have already called you to discuss it.
I find this comment pretty troubling:
Nobody knows how full of facts this child is, and when he shares something, they are shocked. The reaction puts him deeper in his shell.
Especially: The reaction puts him deeper in his shell.
Just that is a valid reason to pursue this, IMHO.
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I guess one way to look at is this: If your children were BEHIND to the extent that they are AHEAD, would you be scheduling a meeting? Oooooh! That's very wise, 'Neato! Really, that's an extremely smart way to think about it to get past that "Am I nuts or whiny or wrong?" feeling that we parents of HG+ kids so often get. Brilliant!
Kriston
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May the force be with you
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Excellent post, Dottie! You really have heard it all!
I am also extremely envious of the fact that you get an advocate (provided by the state, I assume) to attend your meetings.
good luck MoN.
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I'm late to this discussion, but am prepping for a similar meeting next fall, so I'll add a couple of thoughts.
First, this site has some very good resources. For short-term review, I would suggest reading Julia Osborn's article on advocacy (you can find it easily using the site's search function). The article library also offers a Davidson Advocacy guide, which, though it's 40 pages long, reads quickly and has good outline ideas. If acceleration is your goal, there are any number of good articles in the 'Davidson Database' article library. I read about one parent who brought in several such articles, with key points highlighted, and presented them in a binder to the school representative.
Second, a portfolio of your child's work/play in math, reading, whatever, showing a level of competence above what the school curriculum offers at the age-appropriate grade level, is hard to debate against.
Knowing your blind spots is key, too, if you can manage it. Mine is that I'm apt to rely on personal intensity rather than dispassionate data - this always backfires! But it's a terrific effort to be detached where my child is concerned.
Best of luck.
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