Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Once more: school options

We are now in the process of hunting school for DD for next year.

This is the situation: no GT school where we live this next year, but most probably the following one (2009-1010) yes.
There is one opening on another town but it involves driving (see later on).

So, we have to look some other solution for DD for just one year, 2008-2009.

Our options are:

1. Same school where she was going but she would be moved to first grade. Since it is a Montessori, she would be in a group with 6 to 9 years old.
School has agreed to accelerated her, the Principal was quite in favor from the very beginning, the remedial teacher half-half, but convinced at the end, and the actual teacher (kindergarden) was totally opposed, saying that DD wanted only to play and refused to do any learning activity.
Problems with this: DD will be in a large group (30 kids) and only one teacher. No possibilities for the teacher to give DD extra time or attention. Teachers in that school do not have any gifted training. School would accept an extra teacher payed by us.

We have asked to meet the teacher that DD would be having to see if she agrees to the acceleration, because if she does not, then it is useless.

2. Another school just around the corner would accept as well DD in first grade, but I still have to talk to the Principal about details. This is a 'normal' school so she would be with just 6 years old children. This school is studying the possibility of opening a gifted section in two years, but nothing is decided yet.

3. And finally, the gifted school in another town. That would be perfect: they have philosophy, chess, individual curriculum on maths and LA, drama, English, Spanish (this at 8 only)... Teachers are specifically trained for GT kids. The children get a laptop and they learn keyboarding so they can 'write'....

The big problem is: I would have to drive back and forth in the morning and afternoon. Without traffic jam, it is 25 minutes of driving, not too bad. But in the traffic jam it can be easily one hour. And the school times are sure enough in the peak hours. So I would drive one hour in the morning, drop DD, drive one (maybe 45 min if I am lucky) back. And the same for the afternoon.

Moving there is not an option. This is only for one year (hopefully) anyway.

Soooo, what would you do??????

The GT school is the perfect school but the driving .... mmm

All schools are public schools. Fees are negligible (except if we hire an extra teacher to help in the classroom).

Hi Isa! Wow to all the offered accelerations!

Questions
#1 -
Remind me how old is DD now? You also have a younger child, yes? How old is your younger? Am I forgetting a third? Can you hire someone to watch baby while you are driving? Can you hire someone to drive daily, at least one way? Is there anyone else from the gifted school who is 'carpool material?'

#2 - could you find someone to hire for the Montessori school? How expensive would it be? Could you do it part time?
#3 - Is there 'before and after care' for the Gifted school? Maybe you could manipulate her hours so to get off of high-traffic times?
#4 - do you know anyone in the other town that you could hire to do before and after care, so she is less 'stimulated' by the long day of school?

[size:11pt]#5 - How soon can you meet next years Montessori teacher? Can you watch her interacting with the children? Can you watch and see what the other children are doing - so you know if there would be a fit in that room?[/size] Actually - this last question goes for all three schools - get into the classrooms and watch, if it's not too late!

Smiles and prayers,
Grinity

I would eliminate the school that is far and involves lots of driving (this would get old fast). School #2 sounds like it could work as a one-year remedy. I agree with Grinity that checking it out is probably the best way to know which "fits" best.

Hi Isa,

My dd goes to a gifted school (about 45 minutes away each way). We have done this for two years and it was definitely the right choice for us.

The drive isn't so bad. We have a lot of heart to heart talks on the way. She can take a nap if she is tired or we just listen to music and be silly. It has been a great bonding opportunity for us.

My point is, choose the school that would be the best fit for your dd. The driving is doable.

I agree that the drive is doable, espeically if you have a happy girl for the rest of the day. You may find that you can do a little picnic/library trip/ etc. at the end of the day and avoid rush hour. Depends on the overall needs of your family.

Perhaps you could look into getting a job at the gifted school? Then you could work while she is at school instead of making two trips. Extra income to offset the expense.

I think it's clear that your DD needs some accelerated learning option. So as long as the solution you choose offers her that, I would think it would be fine.

#1A (without the teacher you pay) is a bit iffy to me because it sounds like the teacher is not on board. That constitutes a real problem, I think. The only person who has control over what goes on in the classroom is the teacher. It's good that you have the principal's backing, but in the end, the teacher is really all that matters. If she isn't totally with you, then I don't think I'd pick this option.

#1B (with extra teacher) Now, when you throw in the additional teacher paid for by you, things change a bit. Presumably you then have a lot more say about what happens in the classroom and what your daughter does. If you can make this happen, it sounds like a pretty good option. Expensive, for sure, but a good choice for getting appropriate work for your DD.

#2 I don't think I'd pursue a new school unless there was some benefit to it for now, and I don't see any benefit. You don't have the relationship that you have with school #1, they haven't agreed to a skip or to other accomodations as has #1. I just don't see this as a good option.

#3 I agree that the driving doesn't have to be a bad thing. Obviously do whatever you can to minimize the drive time. Before- and after-school care or a job in the area sounds wise to me so you can avoid rush hour, especially if you can find someone good with GT kids to play with her. Get "books on tape" for the car or sing along to the radio together. Play car games like the "Last Letter Game." It's not necessarily the end of the world to have to drive a little if you think the school is a good place for her.

BUT I do think that any solution has to work for the entire family--you included! If you REALLY hate driving, then that may not be a sacrifice you're willing to make, and that's okay.

So I think you have 2-3 feasible options, depending upon circumstances: #1A (maybe), #1B, and #3. Any of them seem to me to be acceptable, depending upon your family's priorities.

It's good to have options, but it does tend to be difficult to make such big decisions, doesn't it?

Keep talking if you need it! We're happy to help!

I think you should investigate school #2 further. Talk to the principal, talk to the teacher. If you get a good feeling, I think it sounds like a good option. Especially since you have another child, the long drives may be difficult.

Isa

We opted for the drive, we start in September, about a 45min to 1 hour each way. Depends on traffic. DW found a Part time job at a school nearby (1 mile from new school)as a teachers aid. This is so she can be close by and keep it to one trip a day. The money will pay for the gas. We don't know if it will work out, but we have to try. It means, my stay at home DW will have to be up by 5:30am to leave by 7am, and our DS5 (who was used to getting up at 8), will now be up by 6am. I will also have to be up now by 5am. (For you farmers in the midwest, this is early for us.) Our DS15 will have to adjust to me being at home for him until DW comes home. All new changes, but again we have to try and make things work. The DS5 school offers contacts for carpooling, that is also someting we may look at. Once you make the choice (the hardest part) finding a way to make it work is really not that difficult.

Thanks a lot for the comments !

Do you realize that I have gotten as many different comments/sugestions/preferences as posters?

They are all helpful in my decision making anyway,

I am living in a short to a information evening of one of the GT schools in the next town, so I will know more about it.

And tomorrow I have a meeting with Principal #2, who by the way has already agreed to skip DD to first grade.

Ok, now I have to go....

That puts choice #2 back in the running for me.

Just be sure that if school #2 is making promises, they're promises they can and will keep. (Actually any of the schools, for that matter!)

Not to sound like a cynic, but a school can tell you anything to get you in the door. It's what they deliver that matters.

But, of course, you know that...

I just think it's just good to keep your cynic hat firmly on during these sorts of decisions. It's easy to want things to work out so badly that you don't make sure things pass the "sniff test." I consider myself a pretty savvy consumer, but I fell for the "bait and switch" from a pre-K once. It happens.

Oh, and as for all the different opinions we have: I think that's because none of the options (so far at least) looks markedly better or worse than the others. Unless you find out something about one of them that shifts the balance, I think it all comes down to personal preference and the specific needs of your family. And happily, there are worse things than several decent choices!

FWIW...

Hi there,

thanks a lot for the answers.

We just had a talks this afternoon with Mr Principal of school #2 and with their 'remedial/advisor' teacher. They listened very careful about the needs of DD and they were honest that while they have had gt kids in the past, none were as gifted as DD so they would have to improvised a little. Advisor teacher seemed quite interested in DD and eager to learn more about giftedness. I told them as well that I really would like to be 'part of the team' to establish the IEP since I am the one that knows best DD and have already found good sources of information.

They agreed that it did not matter if they thought that acceleration was great IF the teacher did not. So they told us that they will talk with the 4 teachers of the 4 grade 1 groups and as well they will think thoroughly if they can offer to DD what she needs. They will call beginning next week.

On the other hand we will have another information evening in the gifted school #3 next Monday, so we will know more details about how and what do they teach. We are getting some contradictory information about these schools, about whether they group by ability or age, and I think this needs clarification. These GT schools are a really new thing here in NL, and sometime it looks like they are 'experimenting'...

DD is picking up on the tension and she is lately .... well ... quite .. ehem... I ended up shouting at her a couple of times. Not good

Hopefully we will be able to take a decision by next week!

Ed to add that the good sources of info includes this forum

WOW! It's great that you have choices. I hope you find and answer and some peace soon.

I think you are doing the right thing by finding as much information as possible ahead of the time.

Going back to your original post Montessori classroom with 1:30 ratio doesn't seem to be a good option. I say if you are willing to pay for an extra teacher, it may be worth thinking about paying somebody to drive your daughter to/from the gt school, assuming you like the school, of course.

The commute sounds quite long but it's still doable. May be you could carpool once you get to know the other parents or like I said pay somebody to drive her a few times each week.

The PS sounds pretty flexible. It looks like at this point you have a few good options.

Good luck on Monday

School #2 (local public Catholic) is all hot into getting DD, teacher agrees to take DD on her class, and wants to meet once more -with DD this time- next week to discuss further details.

Unless the GT school is reaaaaallly muuuuch better I think I am sold on this option (#2 I mean).

It sounds like a good choice.

Are they making any promises about what they can do for your DD? Are you getting it in writing?

They are not making any promises yet.

I think this is what they want to discuss next week.

About getting it in writing... I doubt it. Did you know that until a few years ago it was possible to buy a house under a verbal contract? Even now if I say (and only) say, that I will buy your house you can take me to court if I do not...

So as you can see, Dutch are hot on verbal agreements....

I will see what I can do about getting something in writing though.... maybe doing some minutes of the meeting?

Maybe just recap what was said, even in an e-mail, so that everyone is on the same page. A note that says "This is what I understood our agreement to be. Correct?" would do it, I think.

It just often happens that the school hears one thing and the parents hear another...Not ideal! You want to be sure that they deliver what you think they're promising.

It is really good that they're excited to snag your DD for their school. That's a good sign!

Oh well, we just have come from a meeting from the potential gifted school and what a disappointment

The whole thing looked hurried and completely targeted to MG. They do not offer acceleration. There was no discussion whatsoever about the details of the curriculum or how to compact, how enrichment lessons were going to be implemented, etc.

The teachers have just one month of training, and they looked like the teachers who get along with the Principal so they get a 'bonus'.

Overall I was (and DH) quite negatively impressed.

I really hope that the meeting tomorrow at school #2 gets better and that I have a better feeling about the teacher.

Sorry to hear that. At least you still have two more options.

That's a downer. Put your feet up, get a good night's sleep and start fresh tomorrow. That's my favorite thing about going to sleep. Each time you wake up the next day, it's a fresh start!
All the best for tomorrow's meeting.

Neato
((hugs))

It's too bad about the one school. Some schools slap on a label, and people come in droves. A number of schools that are gifted (Not all by any means) are not very flexable. It was good to find out now.

That's too bad, but at least you don't have to agonize over whether the drive is worth it...

I'm sorry about the GT school. Wishing you much luck for tomorrow.

Voila!

It is settled DD is going to local school #2.

We have met the teacher and she gives an excellent impression.

I will write more tonight, now I have to prepare lunch for DD and me.

Yay Isa! I'm so glad you like the teacher at the local school. Now you can relax a little, maybe!

Congratulations on coming to a decision Isa!

Good! I hope it is a wonderful fit for your family and that your daughter grows and learns and is happy.

I found that many gifted schools do not offer skipping years but do offer accelerated math and in high school connections to take courses at universities around them.

I am not sure why that is the case.

Ren

Isa,

Congratulations! I hope that it works out well and remember, fit is probably the MOST important thing in establishing school connections. (Hi Dottie and Kriston, I'm doing that Rampant Emotionalism thing again...)

Well, this is a 'basic school' - is that English? I mean, it is only primary education, so connection to university are too early, even for PG, imho.

The whole GT school look to us rather rushed, and I have the gut feeling that they are expecting lots of 'Hermione Grangers'.

Anyway, the local school looked like the best option by far. I only hope it is true,,,,

Isa,
After all of your struggles and the difficulties your daughter has had to face at her current school, it was wonderful to read that you have such a promising option for next term!

Let's start with honesty.. haven't read the whole thread.. so apologies if this was covered.

our gt school was a 60-90 minute round-trip last year. 70 minutes pure drive time then the pick up time cause they don't seem to fall from the sky into the car.

the upside - education was a great fit. being with other gt kids was AWESOME. downside - we got home an hour later than all the neighborhood kids. and i had to ignore all the post school crazies, make dinner, and then work on getting them all to bed.

it does put a damper on your day and i only had to do it one way. if it was still an option i'd do it again (and be crabby about it still) but if I were looking at 2 hours round trip - no way. for me 35 minutes there and then having your kid trapped to talk to you for 35 minutes home had its advantages. but for me, i don't know that i could do it if it took longer. and frankly, i don't know that i would have decided in its favor if i really knew what the drive would feel like day in and day out. any chance for a carpool. or even - we did a daycare option that would bus her in the morning for the ease of only driving once.

Kickball:
The problem was that we did not like the GT school and would not put DD into it even if it was round the corner, On paper, it look great, but de facto....

En fin, our decision has been taken and DD will go to a public school and will skip a grade, and if things go well, she is expected to do two grades in one year. This ones depends on whether DD overcomes her underachievement.

Very good outcome! I'm sure once DD is properly challenged she will be inspired to show her talents!

Actually, she does it in areas where she has no clue what a child of her age is capable or not....

Now I have to go to bed...

I am glad you found a good fit and that you like the teacher. You must feel much better having made the decision.