They think that I should focus more on his emotional/social needs and less on his academic needs.
I am sorry you are going through this. It brings back a lot of bad memories. It seemed like our school was more interested in trying to make my twice exceptional son fit in with their idea of what all little boys are supposed to be. My son was supposed to conform to their idea that all little boys must color in the lines without complaining that it is boring or his hands were tired. All little boys must like and participate in sports and if they can't do that, at least act like they like sports which is their idea being social in an age appropriate way, and not talk about things like science or books they enjoy reading. They must learn to tolerate verbal bullying from other kids while the teachers look the other way. They must learn to tolerate verbal bullying from teachers without attempting to defend themselves and explaining that a disability and not laziness was the reason he couldn't do certain things as well as other kids because that would be rude.
It was so bad that my son refused to read the rest of A Wrinkle in Time. I remember when he first learned the word hegemony he applied it to our small town and our school.
Yesterday, we saw several boys standing outside our town's "alternative school." My son wondered out loud how many of them were just class clowns or kids who didn't fit in.
We were told to homeschool. A first grade teacher made it sound almost like child abuse to let him continue at that school. I remember that summer before first grade was supposed to start was really hard for me because I had to let go of all hope of him enjoying school with lots of other kids. The school was the center of our small town and I was really sad about taking him out, but I got a lot of support from people on message boards like this one and I know my son is better off than he would be in our public school.