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My communication skills are not as good as my husband's, my verbally gifted son's, or my daughter's. My daughter uses her gifts in sales and marketing and consistently outperforms coworkers, always winning extra money. I read more than she does. I would probably score higher on a vocabulary test.

I think the reason their communication skills are so much better than mine is because I don't have their gift for improvisation. It is a gift I just don't have. This is what I see as the difference.

I found this on Wikipedia:

"The skills of improvisation can apply to many different abilities or forms of communication and expression across all artistic, scientific, physical, cognitive, academic, and non-academic disciplines. For example, improvisation can make a significant contribution in music, dance, cooking, presenting a speech, sales, personal or romantic relationships, sports, flower arranging, martial arts, psychotherapy, and much more. Techniques of improvisation are widely trained in the entertainment arts; for example, music, theatre and dance. To "extemporize" or "ad lib" is basically the same as improvising. Colloquial terms such as "let's play it by the ear", "take it as it comes", and "make it up as we go along" are all used to describe "improvisation".

The simple act of speaking requires a good deal of improvisation because the mind is addressing its own thought and creating its unrehearsed delivery in words, sounds and gestures, forming unpredictable statements that feed back into the thought process (the performer as listener), creating an enriched process that is not unlike instantaneous composition [with a given set or repertoire of elements]."

I observe, I analyze; it is the applying part that is a problem for me.

Thank you. I don't have much control over things that are happening now. I think my daughter, who is successful in her job and wants to do so many things including marriage and children, looks at me and wonders if she can handle it.

Solid point, but I wonder if it couldn't be reconsidered under the light of a personality difference (spontaneity) rather than "gift." Spontaneity can be practiced, and it begins at a very early age, in the form of imaginative play.

There are other things involved in face-to-face communications, though... intuition, the ability to read and correctly interpret nonverbal cues, your own unconscious nonverbal cues, etc. Many people with deficits in these areas struggle with communication.

I am laughing my *ass* off over that one.

It was really only a couple of years ago that I even realized the nonverbal cues existed and were actually important to communication.

It would have been helpful to know and really understand that for the first 35 years of my life.

Re: "... it would be helpful to discusss some of the challenges that this "group" has to deal with on a day-to-day basis."

I am looking forward into the future too much it seems. Not present enough in the moment to enjoy it, even now. And eventhough that's where I feel the happiest.

Maybe the big day - to - day challenge -- for me anyways -- is really how to feel happy??

Oh well, -sigh- there I go again.
Thinking into the future figuring out about how to be happy now --- when I already am!

Hi there Lori -- keep on remembering our resiliency. We always land on our feet and especially after things like --- 1. getting out of a good long hot soothing bath 2. plenty of deep sleep and 3. filling up with premium fuel to keep the flames in our bodies stoked. and keep on remembering 4. Things could be worse.

We too often feel we can keep on going like finely tuned racing cars that we are similar to. So another day - to - day challenge is how to mentally slow down long enough to really relax and be still and heal. We especially need to do this because our nerves are exceptionally sensitive and easily revved up.

Is there anything you can remember in your past that truly was relaxing, and that inspired you?

~~~~

Hi La Texican. I'll add something here to your comment above.

I am currently aware of adult women who are tired too and are feeling emotionally apathetic. And they don't have children.

I can agree with you though that feeling a loss of control can dampen the spirits. I've noticed with myself that when I complete something important to me (and I'm well-rested and well-fed too) I can keep my spirit's flame burning stronger.

By the way, one of the light-hearted family jokes going around here lately is that No One is Really in Control. This idea help lifts the heavy burden off a tired heart & mind that a person is responsible for things they actually have no control over. We laugh here alot about this. I mean really, some of the real control we do have is how we chose to react to feeling Out-Of-Control. HAA!

Our gift at Laughter helps us gifted folks out immensely and I'm deeply grateful for this.

I can feign spontaneity. I have had practice at this. There is a difference in the quality of my spontaneous improvisations. I am not as quick witted as my son or my husband. I am not as quick to see the humor in situations, especially difficult ones. I can't spontaneously come up with comedic scenarios to get my point across like they can. I see it as a gift.

Emotionally apathetic, surprisingly I like the way you phrased that. Mild depression, loss of zest and zeal, those are external intrusions. Emotional apathy sounds like more something I might can work on. Words are so funny how they get the point across.

Oddly, it might be that a lot of these skills, communication, mental flexibility, spontenaity, might benefit from reading more fiction novels. I used to read a lot of fiction and I had a sharper mind. Now I'm reading a historical fiction called "The Discoveries of Mrs. Christopher Columbus: His Wife's Version". Her way of viewing things is so very different from mine, but I can see it her way for the point of the story. I feel like the reading experience greased my rusty cogs upstairs a little. I wondered why I haven't read good fiction in so long when i always used to love to. I think there might have been more benefit to reading than just "making time for myself". It might re-light what was quick witted.

LOL same here!! I wish I could meditate. sigh.