So frustrated. Gah! We live in a small town and DS skipped 6th grade to middle school this fall - not an easy process as it had "never been done before." There was much handwringing over his social well being and fitting into middle school by the principal. It's very much 1950 out here and they are simply not equipped to deal with gifted students much less HG.
Dh and I weren't worried as DS is friendly and has never had an issue socially. We were far more concerned that he wouldn't be working at his level. After 2 quarters now, it's clear that despite a TAG "plan" he's not challenged.
Aside from a high school level algebra class - which isn't so much challenging as it's new information and a science class that's once again new information, he's bored. He has friends but none of them are at his academic level. But what do you do with a 12 year old?
Do we skip him ahead to where he needs to be, spending his day with older teenagers - yikes? Or just accept that he has to slog through the rest of this year and next until he hopefully joins his sister at a private prep school in a nearby city?
We can't afford tuition for a private middle school so I feel like we're stuck. I've fought and fought with this district to get services for both of our children and I'm running out of steam.
Any thoughts?
I don't think he'd even be that far off in age, would he? When I was in 9th grade, I was 14. I had a friend who was 13, and most of the other kids seemed to be 15.
ETA: Actually, I am wrong. I was 13 in 9th. My friend was 12. I had to work backwards from how old we were when we graduated!
Great advice lmp. I think it's wonderful that your DD8 has friends who share her interests regardless of their ages. It can be so challenging for gifted kids to find their way.
In DS12's perfect world, he would be back at his elementary school with his other TAG friends - with his amazing teacher who would be moving them through high school curriculum by now.
Alas, after many years of threats the district was really going to close the school, the teacher moved to a different building and this little bubble of happiness became a charter. His friends stayed at the school hoping it would be the answer. It wasn't.
I know he misses the intellectual stimulation.
I'm certain the district will refuse to accelerate him another grade, but they may agree to let him take a few classes at the high school. Aside from being a small district, the education here is woefully behind the rest of Oregon. They just can't seem to wrap their heads around highly gifted kids.
We will need to have a conversation with DS but I don't think he'd want to be in school all day with the older kids. Socially he seems comfortable. He kept his academic level to himself until another student from his elementary mentioned he skipped 6th grade and was in high school algebra. Apparently he got a lot of comments but most of them were positive.
One kid often refers to DS as his favorite 6th grader. It cracks up DS as this kid is quite small and DS is almost 5' 7".
Epoh: He'd be just 13. It's not the age as much as the environment. Until last year the h.s. really suffered under nonexistent leadership.
A new principal took over and things have improved but this is a sports town and that's all the matters to most of the staff and students. Not even 20 percent are college bound. Which is why DD goes to a private school 35 miles away.
I should've mentioned that homeschooling isn't an option as DS doesn't like being taught by his parents!
DS is certainly capable academically and emotionally to skip a second grade. He has a September birthday and missed the cut off for Kindergarten by 10 days. We didn't pursue early entry as he is 2e due to a speech disability and it takes an act of God to change anything in this district. So this skip to 7th was just putting him with his almost peer group.
But I'd rather he subject accelerate - if they'll allow it. We just have to hang in there until he can go to the prep school. We're a quarter of the way there, LOL!
Does he have any space in his schedule for electives? Our ds12's school agreed to let ds pursue an independent study course in place of one of his electives, which gave us an option for putting more academic challenge into his schedule.
So that's one potential option for what to do until prep school!
polarbear
That's a wonderful idea Polar Bear. We will certainly pursue this route if they refuse to allow for the subject acceleration. DS has already taken this path in social studies as he is obsessed/fascinated with history and tested out of numerous units.
Unfortunately this meant he spent the class time in the library researching a paper. I'd prefer that he be engaged with some like minded students talking about the geo/political ramifications of wars, treaties, revolutions, etc.
Sadly his teacher these past two quarters doesn't believe in TAG, accelerated learning or critical thinking.
That's too bad about his teacher, Agent99. If he likes history are there any history clubs in your area? I'm thinking the kind of group that's made up of really old folk, not kids
We have a few of those in our area, historical society etc. Not a substitute for an all-out actual class, but there might be lectures or a mentor around that could help feed his passion.
Back in school, there are some online courses that might offer some opportunities for online discussion - not exactly the same as having a group of like-minded peers irl to exchange ideas with, but it might be more fun than research in the library.
Good luck figuring it out!
polarbear
With his bd, he sounds just about one year younger than my dd13 (she turned 13 in early Sept). She's in 9th this year and no one seems to know that she is younger. I'd definitely push for at least more subject acceleration. Unfortunately it sounds like your high school doesn't have to offer what he socially needs given the general level you describe. Do you have any options for extracurricular programming (summer camps, weekend programs, etc.) where he could find a peer group if he isn't going to get it at school?
I'm thinking that, if you could get him accelerated more in school so he'd be at least a little challenged, and then try to meet the need for peers externally from school, that might be the best you'll get for now.
Cricket2, glad to hear your daughter is doing well in 9th grade. I think I'll talk to the TAG coordinator about subject acceleration. I know we'll get a ton of push back, but there's got to be something better for him.
He's only in 2 accelerated classes. What does he do the rest of the day? Talks to his seat mates of course. Once we explained that these boys DO need to pay attention, he stopped talking. But now he's bored once again.
My son is 13 and at 5'10" taller than some of his 16 year old friends. Because he is tall and talks more like a young adult, people are surprised to find out that he is only 13. We live in a small town that some have described as being like a Norman Rockwell painting. They don't like it when people move here from the city and expect them to change the way they teach when a one size fits all education is all they offer. We have no library but we do have a very nice football field. My son is 2E because of a mild disability that affects him mostly physically so he could not fit in that way and he doesn't fit in because of the giftedness.
My son is homeschooling but if I had to put him back in school I would hope they would put him with kids several years older because he fits in best with them. The only problem is that they are all driving now and he won't be old enough to do that for a while.
Lori H: Wow, he's a big kid:) Is he enjoying homeschooling? How is it working for you? Is he involved in sports or other activities where he might encounter other gifted kidsl?
We've considered homeschooling but ds isn't interested as he is very social. Wheels turn slowly here, but a court ruling allowing students to attend other districts without charge will force schools to do better if they expect to keep funding.
Unfortunately for my family, the improvements will come too late, which is why ds will go to private high school.
Hi Agent99!
My son is now a senior in college, but we had similar challenges. When he was in sixth grade, he started taking math classes at our local community college. There was no way he was passing for a college students. He was around 12 and pretty short. I was very concerned that during down time (like waiting in the hallway for class to start) he would be surrounded by sex-talking older teens, but this wasn't the case. Maybe it's because he took mostly math and science classes, but while some students were curious about the kid in class, they were friendly and helpful. They didn't care if he was assigned as their lab partner. I think they got a kick out of him. Eventually, people got used to him being there.
When he was in seventh grade, he wrote a letter to the presidents of the two four-year colleges near us telling them about his plight, his huge thirst for math and asking them if he could simply sit in on one class each semester. Both men agreed to let my son take one class for credit each semester, which thrilled him. So for the next few years (until high school when he split his days between high school and college) he was able to take the calculus series and some physics. It was great for him. He got his first "B" in physics II and discovered that he didn't know how to study. He was frustrated and challenged and thrilled.
This ended up being the way we went. He did also skip grades, and it was sometimes hard socially -- in some ways. But it had been terribly hard socially when he was unchallenged and miserable with his same age peers. Sometimes we couldn't address both issues, so we chose what was most important to him, and that was academics.
Maybe you could try to community college for classes? We didn't need any special permission. We just walked in and signed him up. At first, he took evening classes. There was never any issue with him hanging out with inappropriate kids. There was a mix of college kids and adults. Quite frankly, who would "hang out" with a twelve year old?
At community colleges, they usually have math starting right from algebra, so you child could jump right in. The nice thing is that they move more than twice as fast as the high school classes!
Accelerating was probably the highlight of my K-12 education. For me, a good mix of academics and social fit was to be accelerated 3 years. Though the academics still needed to be supplanted through college courses or independent studies, I found a group of kids who shared my interests and could attend classes that were interesting enough to assuage the boredom and creative solutions to said boredom. Was it weird that I was 15 and in class with kids who were 18? Maybe for the first week or two post-acceleration. My classmates were good about giving me rides and respecting my curfew, and I even ended up being pretty popular with them. It can work, especially if accelerating once has worked.